psimp1005

So I sent an email to my ex a few days ago, telling her how I feel about everything. Then today I realized i shouldnt have sent it. It would have done nothing. I logged into her account (bad I know, but it was for a good reason). Luckily the email wasnt read yet. She hadnt checked her email in days apparently. I deleted it permanently. Makes me feel better. Now im not worried about a reply from her. She broke up w/ me a month ago, because of her parents, yet as little as 2 weeks later, she was interested in another guy. What a * * * * * . I should have realized that I was the one pulling the weight in the relationship. She knew she had something great, but ran at the sight of trouble with her family. I know I am a great catch. I'm talking to new girls. I'm taking things slow though. I dont want to jump into a relationship. My ex is obviously too immature to look and think about things and stay single. Hoes will be hoes. I just hope I find someone great out there soon who will know that I am the best thing that happened to them and will do anything to stay with me.

Im starting to accept the breakup, exactly a month later. I'm happy with my friends. I hate seeing you around, it just brings my emotions back. I think you helped me get over it by the way you hurt me, and the way you ended things. We both still loved each other when we broke up. But you just turned into a * * * * * and you're now going around with every other guy you can get. You disgust me. I'll find someone better, more mature, someone who can handle her problems without running at the sign of trouble. I just wish we would have ended things a LONG time ago so none of this would happen.

I talked to you today. I told you how I feel about you. You listened, said you still cared and had feelings for me. Yet you leave and later walk right past me to some other guy. I loved who you used to be. Now, you are a selfish, immature coward. If you really loved me, none of this would have happened. We were victims of circumstance, and you were too weak to fix things. Now, youve pushed the feelings aside. I hate what youve become. I hope you regret this in the future, and when you do, I hope I will have already met someone better. Someone who will really appreciate everything I do for her. Someone who will do everything she can, who will move mountains to be with me. I know this is not you. If it was, we would be as happy as we were before. But youve lost something amazing. And you know that. But I'm better off without you in my life. Just look at me now. I got a job, my grades in school are better than ever, I'm healthy, and my family and friends are always there for me. I am a real person, unlike your petty b*tch *ss. Youre interested in someone else now. And the funny thing is, he has a girlfriend! I just want to laugh in your face, you dumb girl. But I won't. I'm the bigger person in this. You are a hypocrite, a liar, and a user, just like the rest of your family. I am just waiting for the day I find someone new, and you are eaten alive by the fact that she is way better than you.

Day 7. I walked past her today after school and she was doing something weird with her friends. She walked right in front of me and did something. I was on the phone and paid hardly any attention, walked right by her, and went home. But right now, i have so many feelings and anger built up. Shes made me feel like crap the past 3 or 4 weeks. Im starting to get over her. But everytime i see her, all the anger comes back for the way she hurt me. But through NC ive realized a LOT of things. Like how much of a hypocrite she always was. She always surrounded herself with guys, and everytime i so much as talked to a girl, she had to make a comment about it. And she got mad when one of her friends was talking to me about something, and considered it flirting, but she never considered it flirting when she went around flirting with every guy she talked to. And every member of her family were all a**holes to me, and she did nothing about it. I gave her everything, and i put more into the relationship than she did. We were together for 9 months, and i always felt like i was doing everything for her, and nothing for myself. she was my life, and after not being with her, ive realized that im better off doing me. i dont need that b1tch in my life. But i still find myself wanting her to come back and try to talk to me. I know she must miss me. But i need to stop thinking about her, and just think about me.

Day 6. I think Its hard to see her everyday in school. I'm really happy when she's not anywhere to be found, and when no one mentions her name. but when I hear anything or see anythign about her, the emotions come back and I just hate her for doing what she did to me. Slowly getting over it. I love her but I hate her. luckily she made the softball team. she was gonna do track (i do track) if she didnt make the team. i think i would be completely miserable if she was on the same sports team as me. Im about to run on the treadmill and maybe do some ab workouts. then ill work on my homework. hopefully ill be exhausted enough to actually fall asleep before midnight. I don't know why I still want to be with her. she pulled the rug right out from under me. i gave her everything, and we were great together, and she knew that. i truly loved her. but she was too immature. her love for me wasnt strong enough to keep this from happening. and now shes interested in other guys. i know she will regret this in the futurre, but by then i will probably have moved on to better people than her. what a * * * * * * she has turned into. right now, i never want to see her face again. i dont want to see her happy with other people. i know it sounds wrong, but its true. and im sure ill get past this feeling eventually. just had to rant a little. ](*,)

Today is day 4 NC, and day 18 since BU. Ive been reading through this forum since the breakup and its really helped me put things into perspective. We were together for 9 months, and we were perfect. Her parents ended up flipping out on something we did, and basically, she broke up with me. This all happened on Valentines day. We were perfect just the day before. I took her out to dinner and a movie, and we gave each other so many presents. I chased her for almost 2 weeks, and then I realized that if she really loved me, she would not have let this happen. It hurt, and I miss her to death, but I am somewhat relieved to not have her tying me down now. I've gotten my first job since we broke up, and my grades in school are better than ever (and I was already top in my class). What sucks the most is that she is already interested in another guy. There are times when I really hate her for what she's done to me and I just want her to fall off the face of the earth. I feel used because I was nothing but good to her. But NC has done great things for me, and even in just 4 days, I am making a lot of progress. I know I am not going to break NC. Through the whole thing I realized that my family and friends will always be there for me, and they make me feel great even when I start out feeling like crap. Now that the weekend is here, I need to find something to do, but I am glad I don't have to see her.