DGuy

As I am going through the exact same thing, my advice would be for you to not call. Closure is very important but the answers you get from him will probably just cause more questions so it will just start a viscious circle. The more you speak the more you want to know. Just sit tight and spend your time trying to do things you enjoy. Spend time with friends, start a new hobby, read some self-help books (they really help) If you meant anything to this guy, he will contact you in due time. Calling him may make matters worse. He will wonder why you haven't been calling him and if you happen to see him in person be strong and confident say "hi" and keep moving. When he sees how strong you have become without him it might start him thinking. Sometimes people end relationships just to have the other person begging for a chance and to get the "upper hand" in a relationship. It makes them feel like they "control" the relationship. If this is the case, showing him that you ARE able to live without him might be just the ticket to show him how strong you really are. It might all work out in the end but it may not.....this approach makes you stronger either way....Good Luck.

I posted about a 6 weeks ago telling of my breakup with my girlfriend of a year and a half. After a few weeks of not seeing or hearing from her she called me and wanted to come over. She did and we spoke and she wanted to try one more time. I was SO HAPPY!! I did everything right and treated her the way she deserved to be treated for so long. We talked of houses together and engagement rings and we were both so happy. After about 2 weeks of seeing each other I questioned what she had done while we were apart. She told me she was with somebody else and it tore me apart. We had a fight about it ( I know it really isn't my business since we were apart but it still hurts ) and she left and told me a day later it was over. I can't believe she threw me to the curb because of one argument. She has resumed seeing the guy she was seeing while we were apart but I managed to get her alone and we spoke for about 2 hours. To shorten what we spoke about, she told me she doesn't love me anymore, doesn't like me anymore, doesn't respect me anymore and doesn't care what I do!! She wants no contact whatsoever from me and wants to move on with her life. I don't understand how all this happened so fast. We went from homes and weddings to hatred in a matter of days. Is this possible? Friends have told me she feels this way (or thinks she does) because there is another person involved. Any thoughts? For so long I was this girls life and now I apparently mean absolutely nothing to her. I have no choice but to let go but I am having a very hard time with it all and I can't stop dwelling on what happened. All advice is appreciated....Thanks.

Alot of what you guys are saying makes sense and I know I have to change if not for her then for perhaps a future girlfriend. It's not that I'm that bad of a guy, I was just plain lazy when it came to working on the relationship. I wanted so much, but was willing to put in so little. Well, no more!!! It may be too late to save this relationship ( I really hope it isn't)but I will change who I am to make myself happier and make me a better partner in relationships.....Thanks..........D

Hello...I'm new to the board and would like to tell my story and hopefully some people out there can maybe get me on the right track. I am 32 years old and my girlfriend is a very mature 22. We have been together for a year and a half. She came into my life at a time when I really needed someone (and after 5 or 6 months I realized I was in love with her) and has been an angel to me ever since. She loves me and is excellent at giving and taking in a relationship. We very recently broke up (as we have a few times before) but she says this time is for good because she is no longer happy and althought she loves me she doesn't like who I am. She's right.....I don't like who I am either. I am selfish, self centred, and a controller. I am not a good listener and I don't put into a relationship what I should. I see this now but it is too late. The problem is: I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and she wanted to marry me as well. I know what it would take to make her happy and I want so bad to change so I can give her the love and respect that she deserves and gave me. I tell her this and she says they are just words that I've spoken before and does not believe this time will be any different. This time will and is different because I can honestly say that I have had my eyes opened to the problems and I want to correct them.. A girl like this is a once in a lifetime and I truly believe that we were meant to be together but we aren't because of me. How do I fix this? How do I make her realize I want to change? I would not care so much if I did not believe that this girl is the one ( I have feelings for her that I have never had in any other girl I have ever dated) I don't understand how I can treat her this way when I know from the bottom of my heart that I love her. The thought of losing her forever is tearing me up and I feel that I at least cannot give up. I am getting help with some issues but the thought of life without her is unbearable..any and all advice is appreciatted...thanks.