I am only 22 years old and know that I am going to die soon. I can feel it. I have been drinking for years (since 15) and I can't stop. I have tried. I have hospitalized myself several times with no positive outcome. I recently got fired from my job so now I am drinking more than ever. Too much time on my hands. I never feel good. After I drink, I suffer with extremely bad panic/anxiety. It is more like Depersonalization. It's horrible. I recently started taking Lexapro and ever since I started taking it, I get cravings for alcohol more than ever!!! Lexapro makes me want to drink daily. I know that I am going to need LONG TERM inpatient treatment. I have too or else I am going to die. I self medicate myself daily.... like right now I am going to take a tiny piece of Remeron so I can fall asleep. I feel horrible. I got drunk last night and now im having these weird like depersonalazation feelings. Has anybody ever overcome heavy drinking? especially while on medication? Am I always going to be a drunk Anybody know any good alcohol rehabs? What should I do...
