Hi everyone, I'm new and have registered to here only because of this thread, or this particular problem.
To the thread starter: a lot of women in a relationship have this problem. For me it's like a female thing where the physical body has something to do with. So obviously along with the other replies here, you're not alone.
So my bf is turning 43 and I'm turning 19 this year. We've been together for pretty much a year and a half now. I know it sounds unbelieveable but yeah we're pretty serious, gone through a lot of future talks, met the parents of both sides since last year... If someone needs some inspiring stories about huge age-gap relationship, talk to me and I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
He is sorta my first proper bf, I'd experienced being with someone else before but it was a long-distance relationship which lasted after 13 months and a week when I was still living in Vietnam. I first met him through a family at their place in which I was staying for 6 months when I first came to Sydney at the age of 17. He's been sorta their best friend for longer than I've existed.
In an attempt of talking me into breaking up with him when we've just started developing our feelings, the wife of this family showed me tons of pictures of their past holidays together from the 80s and his ex-gfs. I didn't think we would have any future so those pictures made me laugh and gave me some fun. On the next times meeting him I continued asking about his past out of curiosity. He didn't hide anything and I just listened and sometimes I 'd judge him for being such a playboy, thinking I would gain some ""experiences from him.
But it got serious as our feelings got stronger. For 6-7 times I decided to break it off because of the fear that he would ultimately hurt me in the future. Anyways after 6-7 break-ups we got serious. I got to know him much better and decided to give it a shot, even though it's equal to a big risk to my young life and soul.
It turned out that he had many bad lucks in the past, mostly in his love life. He didn't give up, even tried travelling overseas to meet girls and blah but finally ended up having been in love only twice, besides those million relationships. However he's pretty happy being single because of his awesome jobs (he's a musician, sorta music producer and guitarist). After turning 40 he decided to have fun by travelling to the Philippines again and ended up shagging a number of chicks over there.
Anyways sorry I'm being lengthy.
I also got to know that his previous girlfriends were really bad. One day I accidentally found out the old pictures on his old laptop. They are not the ordinary pictures where people just hold hands... There were even pornography. I got shocked and cried a lot before knocking on his studio door telling him about that. But as I was waiting to calm myself down before talking to him, I was able to sit down and listen to the whole stories behind them. He didn't hide anything, nor was he afraid of me finding out about them.
Said:
- Yeah I've got a big history, because I'm not a priest. And for Christ's sake I'm 42!
- Those belong to the past. I don't really care about them anymore, but there is no reason to delete them as they are part of my life, I wanna keep them because they are like souvenirs. No matter how ugly they are, I have no reason to hate myself or feel bad about them.
- Focus on the present and future. I love you and it's pretty obvious that I'm not cheating on you. You see me pretty much everyday. And no for your infomation, I didn't even cheat on anyone else in the past either. Some cheated on me but I didn't.
I've been reassured for many times as so far I've got a great relationship with his parents and friends and co-workers. Also I've been the first to be considered another member of his small family. And we're pretty much living together even though I've stil got my own place for studying and my stuff. Also for my extreme skeptical self, he's appeared to be quite perfect and clear. I trust my senses.
However sometimes it is like a needle piercing my brain whenever I think about how he did stuff with other women like making love, cooking for them... Sometimes it makes me angry but after a while I would be able to calm myself down.
