BeaTlesFan77

I remember going to a couple of events where there was a group of people that just had their face buried in their phones. It was just ridiculous and I wondered why they even made the effort to show up.

I'm presuming it wasn't cliquish and people put their phones away?

You're right, nothing happens when you sit at home and be a couch potato. I was disappointed the other night but realized this is still a great thing for me to be doing. Getting out there and being adventurous like you said. I need to continue and can't quit. Was there a time you were going out alone and facing frustration? How did you feel seeing other couples around you?

Hopefully your date is still on for this weekend. If so, hope it's a great one.

At this time I'm not on any. However, I am thinking about trying it again and adding it to my repertoire. Have you used them too?

Well, I went to another event last night and didn’t meet anyone. Being 46 made it difficult as it seemed like most of the people there were in their 20s or early 30s. The one I went to last week, there was a little bit more of a mixed bag. Just have to chalk this one up to experience and look to the next one. On the bright side, I got to see a new place and had an alcoholic cider I never had before. Blood orange flavored. Looking back now, I wish I had also tried the food. They did have some delicious things on the menu. However, I was disappointed and didn’t feel like eating at the time.

Are you writing your number on something and giving it to her or are you entering it into her phone? Thank you for your encouragement and kind words Lost.

Are there any Linux users here? I recently started using it a few months ago after my OS X operating system stopped getting updates/patches. Plus I wanted to give my old system new life. I played around with Ubuntu until this week when I decided to switch over to Linux Mint. So far Mint has been the better experience.

Well, from everything I have read about your experiences over time, you have inspired me to keep going.

Thanks for the tips Lost! The last time I had an engaging talk with someone at a singles event, I told her that I wanted to continue the conversation and handed my phone to her. To which she did put her number in. She responded when I texted her that it was great meeting her and hoped she got home safely. After that, she never answered my call or any other follow-up texts. I wasn't sending her multiple messages or making multiple call attempts each day. So I figured I had been ghosted and moved on. This was around Nov. or Dec. of last year. Now that I will be attending these Thursday mingles each week, I will have more opportunities to practice. Before this, I would go out alone all the time and there would never be anyone available to approach. They were always coupled up or if they were alone they put off this body language that they didn't want to be bothered. Gets very frustrating.

Right, typically I see women travel in pairs or groups to these kinds of events. As you said, it's rare to see ladies alone but it happens.

In other words same sh*t, different day. 😆

Right, if I find another interesting group, I will give it a go. There used to be active groups for video gaming, Linux users, etc. which have stopped functioning.

Yeah you’re right. It’s just like dating in the workplace the way you described it. I’m actually starting to back away from Meetup as most of the stuff I am interested in no longer has a group associated with it. Hobby related ones. Another thing that’s getting annoying with those groups is how people start dropping off as the event gets closer. I would rather meet someone where the chances of seeing them again are low if things don’t work out.

Great point with personal ads and blind dating. I was just saying nowadays in general with online dating and swiping. The Internet was better during that time frame with regards to OLD.

Exactly. That was the thought I had about the other night. Didn’t get to meet anyone, but it was great to experience a new venue and beer. Did anything happen at the pub around the corner?

Much simpler time wasn’t it in 1989? Before all of the OLD games and swiping. You talked to someone in person and gained interest, he called, and then went out on a date. That’s a great deal that you had set up with your friend. You were there for support and then you had your time with a potential date when needed.

That is a great way to look at it. Especially if it is at a mingling event. The goal there is to be social and it shouldn’t come off as being creepy. Also easier at the same time. That night did your friend end up leaving the two of you alone after she said it was fine that he prefers you? I am already signed up for the one this coming Thursday. Going to be at a different venue. So we’ll see what happens this time.

You definitely dodged a bullet with that one. Sounds like she doesn’t have a life and would be clingy. Hope something great happens this weekend for you with the 45-year-old.

Just got back from the event. Didn’t talk to or meet anyone this time. Everyone I was interested in was either with a friend or already talking to someone else. From what I understand, this particular organization is having these events every Thursday evening. So I am planning on going to another one and trying again next week. Then take what I learned from tonight and apply it to the next one. On the bright side, I had a delicious apple pie à la mode flavored beer and got a free car wash on the way home from raining. So my question this time, if I see someone I am interested in and she is with a friend, how would I go about opening up the conversation with the two (or more) of them? Ladies, what would you prefer us guys who are alone do? Thanks again for your input.

That's what I was looking for. Thanks Batya!

It’s not a speed dating event thank goodness! It’s basically an open courtyard where people will be mingling. Thank you and will do.

Good afternoon three months later! Nothing ever happened with the group I was with around the time of my last message. I ended up leaving it after a month and a half or so. It was very clique-ish and became expensive as the events were mostly held at upscale restaurants that weren't easy on the wallet. After taking a few months off (which included a relaxing vacation and the first in five years), I have decided to try putting myself out there again. Tonight, I'm going to another singles mixer through Meetup organized by the group that does the Pair Ring. However, you don't need the ring to attend. Just going to go in with no expectations and try just having fun with whatever conversations I do have. Hopefully, our voices won't get drowned out by loud music. It's not at your typical bar. Did a little bit of research which stated that 10 to 15 minutes should be the ideal conversation time frame. Then move on to someone else. Unless each person is fully interested in the other. One thing they did not touch on in the articles was regarding having an interest in multiple people. So my question is, is it better to get phone numbers while talking to potential dates or after you have talked to everyone and then circle back to each of them later? I've always been under the notion that you are only allowed one contact per event. Is this a myth?

That sounds wonderful. However, I don’t have any friends that go to parties. If they did, they would not have told me about it. 😆

It’s amazing how things work out and fate works in mysterious ways. These days it’s just great to be around people in person. Especially for those of us like me that work from home. Zoom and Teams meetings just don’t cut it.