manish64

Hi Meg I can very well relate to your problem as I am going through the same feelings. The only difference is that my friend is not gay like me but a straight guy, but we have both accepted each other, the way we are. In our platonic relationship, having sex is out. My friend is also extremely sensitive and emotional like me. For the last couple of months I have also been treating him like a king and my first priority in life, but ofcourse like in your case the response was not similar. I have learnt one thing during this episode, everyone has different ways of expressing their love for another person. You may be much more sensitive and emotional but he is more practical. You have to look for things that he does which shows that he cares. I am sure there are many such things. He is sure that you are always there for you but you are never sure about him, I can understand. Stop being so possessive and even though you care so much, stop expressing it for a while and you will see a difference in hi. Like in my case I used to call him up so often and then get upset when he would not call. I told him that, and you know what his reply was "Even before I can think of calling you up, I have received ten calls from you" Now I have stopped calling him, so when ever he calls I get the feeling that he is there for me and cares. I am telling you, stop expressing yourself and he will be back to you expressing himself. It is just that you do so much that there is no need for him to do anything. Once you stop doing it, he will do it himself. Be happy and enjoy what you have.

I am 38 years old happily married with one kid. I have always fantisised about guys but have never had a gay relationship. I have always been attracted to good looking guys. Got married to a normal girl and have been leading a very stratight family life. I work for a big travel company and one day I find myself getting attracted to one of my male subordinate, 10 years younger to me but whatever I had dreamt for was in this guy. Initially I avoided expressing my feelings, but then being his boss, he wanted to get to know me better and asked me out for drinks, nothing happened, but slowly we became very good friends and in one of the weak moments, I shared my innermost feelings with him. He was extremely understanding and wanted to continue as good friends and nothing more. I agreed as I did not have a choice, and if not as a romantic partner, atleast I could have him as a friend. I did not want to screw up my marriage or my carrer so I changed divisions where he did not have to report to me. Then there was a period when my love became obsessive and still I cannot bear the thought of not having him around. There was a time when he wanted to cut it all off as it was geeting unbearable for him. He does not understand the psyche of a gay person so I dont blame him. I am trying my best to get over him but I cannot. He share his sexual relations with his girlfriends with me and I end up fantisising about him making love to girls. How do I get him if I want to. My emotions are getting out of control and I am unable to discpline my mind. Can someone help me please.