Okay, this is a long story but I will try and keep it short.
My g/f (and honestly my bestfriend) of a year and 10 mo. told me she wanted to take a break before the summer started. We had been getting a bit annoyed with eachother durring that time (but never, and still havnt ever been in an argument or "fight".) I said it was okay with me if she really felt it was necissary. She also said "I want you to experience other people. I dont want to be with you years from now and have you saying 'man, ive only been with one girl'." I could see her point and agreed.
Around May, right before I moved for the summer we totally clikced again and all was well and I figured the break wouldnt happen. I moved to Dallas for the summer and she stayed in San Antonio. A week into my stay she asked if I realized we were on a break (after I said "I love you" in a phone conversation.) I was a bit shocked but remembered that I wanted her to be happy and that a break may be really good for us. We didnt talk for about 2 weeks. I called her and told her I missed her and she said the same. She told me she had already gone out with a few guys (some of whom I personally know) and had sex. I was a bit taken back , but felt that since she really had no obligation to me and I could do the same, there was no harm. As I began to hang out with my friends here in Dallas, they urged me not to talk to her (since her escipades were eating me up and I was constantly talking about her) She also seemed to not really care about me anymore. So I stopped calling her. But she kept calling me and I in no way wanted to avoid her calls.
Her dating and sexual events came to an uncomfortable place when a sort of love triangle formed and jealousy between guys kicked in. She called me and told me she regretted her recent "relationship decisions".
I have gone to see her in San Antonio Twice since our break and both times she kisses me (yet turns away sometimes when I try to kiss her) She holds my hand when we go out and we sometimes walk arm in arm. This past weekend we messed around (half asleep, so it wasnt too awesome) and I stayed at her house until about 4-5am before having to leave to my grandmothers. eachtime she woke up and pulled me back into bed, cuddling me close asking me not to leave her. both times I eventually had to leave.
We had a long conversation about where we stand. She said she sometimes feles as if were "falling apart". and I said that we havnt really had an opportunity to fix anything up(she agreed). I also told her that last year it was her and I everyday, and it might not have been to healthy to have no other friends other than eachother, especially since were such social people.
Next year we will be living 2 doors down from eachother and we have been planning to do things together.
Also she doesnt want me to tell my family that were "broken up" ( she has now come to say it isnt a break anymore but a break up.) Her mother (who knows of everything) still refers to me as her boyfriend. Also I introduced her this past weekend to an old friend of mine as "My g/f" and she seemed to not have a problem with it.
The only thing is, She hangs out with all of the guys shes messed around with constantly and told me last night she talked with 2 of them about moving in together (in aug2004) I feel as though I may be on some sort of string... but she still calls me when I dont call her. She says she doesnt know if she wants to get back with me. Also, I have dropped all of my old habits she used to despise (mainly substance usage, and this was a personal decision on my part, not to get her back or anything.)
Our relationship was not abusive in any way, we never fought and both see it as the best relationship weve ever had in our lives.
She still kisses me, but sometimes turns away when I make the move to kiss her.
I really could be making a big deal out of nothing. But it seems as if were growing more distant (shes spendingmore and more time with these groups of guys).
Opinions as to what might happen??
thnks so much
