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Viper55666

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  1. Viper55666
    Yeah i would agree with that! I meant every word I said when I stood at that alter, I had so many warnings that I was too young to get married but ignored them because I knew in my heart that I had enough love and strength to make my marriage work no matter what. I'm just gutted that my wife didn't feel the same! The most depressing thing is every plan I had made for the future involved her, I just dont know who I am or what I want anymore! And I miss her so much it hurts, physically, mentally and spiritually. What could I have done that was so bad that my wife, the one person in my life that I thought i'd never be without not only left me after such a short time, but feels its necessary to change her name on her social profile back to her maiden name, i mean what is the point in that other than to hurt me?
  2. Viper55666
    I miss her
  3. Viper55666
    The only advice I can give you with the gym is get a couple personal training sessions, you usually get a couple thrown in with the induction package but it will make all the difference! When you go and do your own thing its takes an age to start seeing results and you will get frustrated and give up. Working initially with a PT will give you confidence in your routine and you will see results much sooner which will then give you the motivation to keep going and eventually you will catch the bug and will have to be torn away. But its very worth it, when you start to see results and go out on the town or down the pub and start getting chatted up and looked at more your self confidence will go through the roof and you will start thinking of the breakup as her loss and not yours!!! Do it for yourself, go and sign up, it will get you out of the house, you'll meet new people and you will be much more confident and happy!
  4. Viper55666
    Its never easy buddy, losing someone who you share such a close bond with is never going to pass without any pain! I've been through the same thing, my wife left me 3 months ago after 5 years together and theres not an hour that goes past that I dont think about her, what shes doing, who shes with etc.... Now the following advice was given to me and it is hard but once you get your head round it, it does make sense and help alot! 1. Go to classes, dont put your life on hold, although you may not have the motivation to do anything... keeping busy will help to keep you mind off things even for a minute! 2. Find some new hobbies that get you out of the house, sitting at home listening to sad music, and drinking was all i wanted to do and i went to some very dark places because of it! KEEP BUSY!!! the less time you spend on your own the less you will think about her 3. Keep NC up!!!! it helps in one of two ways.... either she misses you and comes back, or it gives you the chance to start to heal and get your head round the breakup. 4. If you do see her keep your chin up, dont play the depressive, DO NOT TRY TO MAKE HER FEEL SORRY FOR YOU! it doesn't work and will only make her think less of you... after all would she want to come back to someone who is lifeless and no fun? Make her think (even if its not true) that you are ok, getting on with your life and not letting it effect you!!! Chin up mate, it will get easier! Hope this helps
  5. Viper55666
    Day 5 Feeling a bit less crappy today as well as a bit stronger. Logged into facebook today and saw a few pictures of my ex's holiday had been commented on by my friends so It came up on my feed, managed not to look! GO ME! Ended up going to the gym last night so im upping my weekly sessions from 3 to 4 from now on, at least if I cant feel good I can look good eh! Shouldn't be any reason for her to contact me anytime soon, Im still really close with her family especially her mum so after a chat we had the other day where I said that I needed space and time to heal I think she may of said something to my ex as i've heard nothing from her since she got back yesterday. But maybe shes just been busy, or doesn't care but to be honest im done worrying about it and letting it rule my life...
  6. Viper55666
    Dude that just says it all, My friends just dont understand! they think I should just get over it and get on with my life and just dismiss it everytime I try to talk to them about it! Times like this you know who your friends really are! Yeah I had pretty much sussed that it was GIGs but still doesn't make it easy to take or explain. I hope she does come back but knowing my luck it will be the day after I've moved on and then my failed marriage will be on my conscience not hers! I think i've already fallen to peices, I've cried my eyes out, put myself in A&E with alcohol poisioning and picked fights with people who probably didn't deserve it, NOT THINGS I AM PROUD OF! thats why I just need her to leave me alone, stop contacting me all the time and trying to be my friend so I can start to pick up the peices, but so far i've been too scared to do anything about it... guess i just feel like if I shut her out then shes never going to come back, or she might be trying to contact me to tell me she wants me back... but really, who am i kidding! time to be strong and let her have exactly what she thinks she wants... freedom! Glad you liked the avatar, says it all without saying a word!
  7. Viper55666
    Yeah she broke up with me... Not sure why, dont think she knows either... we had been together for 5 years so we were young when we got together and her parents were very strict on her when she lived at home and 'apparently' shes never had 'real' freedom and for some reason 9 months after we got married she decided that that was exactly what she wanted. She had been wanting to start trying for a baby for a while and I always said it wasn't the right time and then 3 weeks before the split after another conversation about it I said 'ok lets do it' and I think that made her think about her future and made her think that she didn't want to be tied down at 22, understandable but why the hell did she marry me then?????????? I dont really understand, we still get on great, theres no real hard feeling between us, admittedly we had our problems but who doesn't! I really dont get it and I dont think I ever will, thats the hardest thing.... to lose the love of your life and not know why!
  8. Viper55666
    Yeah man, shes my wife. I meant my vows, I would do anything to get her back. I just dont think there is anything I can do, so for now I just want the pain to stop! Or at least her to stop trying to be my friend so I can sort my life out!
  9. Viper55666
    Yeah I explained, her marriage broke down last year so she knows the score. It just annoys me because shes beautiful, funny and intelligent and if I was in my right mind I would have snapped up the oppertunity. It just makes me so angry that even 3 months after the seperation Im still letter her control my life! indirectly, but it still has the same effect. Shes back from amsterdam today and I was on facebook earlier and saw her friend had posted photos of the trip, its taking every ounce of strength I have not to look. I'm really hoping not to see her today, but I think its going to happen, I work next door to her house so im bound to bump into her on my way to the car, I am just that unlucky! I dont know what to do If I do...
  10. Viper55666
    Fair play for at least trying to get out there! If you enjoy this guys company but are not ready for anything more then why fret over the situation? this guy has obviously cheered you up so there is nothing wrong with that! Just make sure you let this guy know where you are so theres no awkward situatuions, im sure he will be cool with that as long as your up front with him, if hes not then hes not worth your time... "Those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter!" Everyone feels the same way about hoping the ex finds out, its a natural thing, you want to show him that you are getting on with your life to see his reaction, I would be exactly the same! As long as your not using this new guy JUST to get up your ex's nose then dont feel guilty about it! I wish I could do the same, I got asked out last week but I couldn't accept. I know full well that if my ex said she wanted to come back then I would accept without even thinking about it and I just dont think it would be fair to get involved with someone else when I feel that way. Because unlike you I would not be able to resist or hold back and I would do things that perhaps I shouldn't and string the poor girl along. I think im destined for a long time on my own!
  11. Viper55666
    Yeah I know what you mean, not in my nature either but all the good girls are definatly attracted to them. Oh well maybe its just a youth thing. Hopefully when they get that bit older and wiser they will start to appreciate the qualities of a good man.
  12. Viper55666
    Wll maybe all us good guys should turn into arseholes then, obviously being understanding, caring and faithfull means nothing these days!
  13. Viper55666
    Day 4 ... Futhest I've made it in a long time but suppose she has been out of the country so hasn't been completely of my own doing, all though I could have text her but I didn't! Shes back today though so will be a real test of strength today! Time to get some back bone me thinks! Apparently she hasn't got anyone else nor does she want anyone else, but my way of coping and sticking to NC at the moment is to assume she is lying and has found someone else. Makes it so much easier to cope with not speaking to her. I just really hope I dont cave... again! today will be the first test, also its our wedding anniversary soon so that will be a very hard day to get through. Still dont know what the hell happened! Not to blow my own trumpet but I think the saying Nice guys finish last is so very true!!!
  14. Viper55666
    2 days NC. Just found out from a friend that she has changed her name on facebook back to her maiden name... Ouch! Feeling crappy! Wanna cry but have run out of tears. Maybe this will give me the push I needed to cut her off and start to think about myself for a change. Its been 3 months and I still let my life revolve around her... time to make some changes me thinks!
  15. Viper55666
    I really dont understand my ex, I've been reading through everyones posts and it seems like everyone is saying the same thing... their ex's seem to be cold, and detatched when the see or speak to them. Mine seems to be the complete opposite everytime I see her she seems genuinely happy to see me, always smiling, laughing and joking, we still get on great I just dont understand... if even after this she stilll enjoys my company, why are we not together???? We had a good 5 years, we had a beautiful wedding, we still get on great, I'm in the best shape i've ever been in my life and she hasn't moved on nor is she interested in moving on... (so she says... but seems genuine). I just dont understand.
  16. Viper55666
    Im not even bothering with trying to count the days anymore... its just depressing seeing 'day 1' at the top of all my posts. Still thinking about her constantly, shes going to amsterdam this weekend with her friend, in a way im happy shes getting out and enjoying herself, but also afraid that if she enjoys herself too much she will forget all about me. She does some part time work at our local petrol station and I happened to go in there on my way home from the gym last night, of course it had to be a night that she was working. It was nice to see her, although it did remind me of just how beautiful she is and what im missing out on, her shift finished about 5 minutes after I arrived so she ended up inviting me back to her parents place and cooking me dinner. It was nice to spend some time with her, it was very light hearted and she seemed to enjoy being around me. I actually felt really happy being around her until it sunk in that I was going to have to leave soon after and she wouldn't be coming with me... my mood then sunk. I left with a few kind words exchanged on my way out, being the absolute muppet that I am i text her as I was pulling out of the driveway to say... 'I still love you' to be fair I wasn't expecting a text back but I did get a reply of simply... 'X', not really sure what thats supposed to mean but anyway. Decided that I cant keep this up, I have to enforce NC properly or im just going to be going round in this continuous loop forever, I mean its been 3 months now and I'm still in exactly the same position as I was on day one! I think in some way, Im seeing or speaking to her on purpose because I dont want her to forget about me and move on, but whats the point in her not moving on and not being with me!? I would rather her be happy with someone else than miserable, it hurts to say it but its the truth, I have to stick to NC and let her go... easier said than done!
  17. Viper55666
    Day 2 Was feeling very low yesterday for some reason. Ended up getting VERY drunk, crying my eyes out, passing out and then being VERY ill. Drinking is not the answer! and im paying for it today!!!
  18. Viper55666
    I feel your pain... I blew it 2 and I wish could turn back time and change it all but I cant! I dont know if my ex has a new fella, she says shes not interested but I wonder if she just says that because shes knows what I would do to him if i found out? Limited contact works if you can maintain it.... but I cant, Im not strong enough! so Jack D works a whole lot better 4 me!
  19. Viper55666
  20. Viper55666
    Feeling very low right now! Nothing has changed things are just as crappy as they always are but for some reason I just cant get her out of my head today... thinking about what shes doing, who shes with, how gorgeous she is... im doing my own head in and I know I am so why cant I stop it? why do I constantly have to beat myself up? Dont know what to do so think im just going to do what I do best at the moment and get smashed! Not the answer but at least I might pass out and stop thinking about her! I hate this!
  21. Viper55666
    Day 1... For the 20th time!!! Like a idiot I text her in a drunken moment of madness last night, NO REPLY!. Feeling really low today, not because I broke NC but because I really miss her. Its been almost 3 months now and it still feels like It happened yesterday! Wish I could stop thinking about her just for one day!
  22. Viper55666
    Day 3 Died a little more inside today! Having thoughts about her and replaying things/conversations in my head. Don't know whether I'm just being paranoid or what but I'm thinking something just doesn't add up! Going out tonight, gonna get absolutely wasted and then hibernate for the weekend.
  23. Viper55666
    Day 2 Feel like crap... No change there. Determined not to break NC again until May. But then I've said that a few times now! Its got to start getting easier... Hasn't it?
  24. Viper55666
    FFS - DAY 1 AGAIN! I should just give up, this is getting stupid! First of all she emailed me to ask about some things that I had to answer (e.g. Joint Finances), she also asked me what I was up to this weekend. I answered the important question and ignored the latter... Feeling strong! She then emailed me again to confirm my calculation of the financial situation and asked this time asked how me and our dog are... being the absolute loser I am I answered by saying both missing her! IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its annoying we both agreed a few days ago to keep contact to essential things only until our wedding anniversary (3rd May) and then re-evaluate the situation. I've been strong (up to now) I haven't emailed, phoned or text her even though I have been dying to, but one moment of weakness and Im back to square one... I think it just comes down to me not wanting her to think I'm an * * * * * * * for ignoring her. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  25. Viper55666
    Day 2 - 68 days to go (for me) That seems like such a long time! Its already been nearly 3 months and i havent managed more than a week so far. Thinking about her alot, anyone noticed that at times like this you tend to listen to the lyrics of every song you hear and can relate to it in some way or form. The Fray - Never say never, not a good song to be listening to right now! Day to day life is getting harder... I work for her parents so see them all the time and they keep telling me to keep my chin up and that she will come round... which is nice in a way but think it may be giving me false hope. Cant find the motivation to work, go out, cook... do anything really... LIFE SUCKS!
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