This is one topic that I can definitely provide a little prospective to. I am 29 and my husband is 47. Now you can take it how ever you want, but if I had known in the beginning what thigns would have turned into, I would have definitely thought twice before we married.
We have been together for 8 years. And I have not always thought this way. In the beginning, he was my best friend, my lover, and my constant companion. I would find myself feeling lost if I was away from him. I still love him with all my heart but I wish I had known more about what would lie down the road. I find him extremly sexy and alluring still to this day, even more so than when we first started dating.
Our problems started about 3 years in. I got pregnant. I had two children already and so did he. I thought that this would be something that wwe could have together. To in a way bind our family into one. Well, he got all insecure and immediately I had had an affair with someone I had worked with because there was no way he could have got me pregnant.... it just didnt make sense... ( I had a paternity done to prove to him I had never strayed hoping to show him that he was the only one I wanted)... well before I knew it I was worse than the painted lady. We separated for 6 months during my pregnancy.
At the end of the pregnancy, we started dating again. Thought everything would be great from there on out or at least good. I have done nothing but try to please him every since day 1. And the longer that we are together, and the older our son gets(he is 5 now), the more restless he becomes. I have done nothing but been a good wife and mother to all of OUR children. I have even been as good as I can to his who hate me with a passion just because it is embarrassing to them when I pull my rank when defending them. (Thier mother is not what you would call a mom... more of a friend) They appreciate that I stand up for them, but refuse to let me be close to them. But they never hesitate to call my by "My (Name)" or "My Dad's Woman" or "Her". I do not pull rank or what ever unless it is my husbands family dogging them or in the case of my oldest (he has a newborn son and his gf left him and refuses to let him see the baby unless he gives her money he dont have to give making him ask his dad for it) where it comes to his ex. I am well aware of this and understand this and only use it with those who seem to forget that I am Sister in law not niece or grandaughter.
I have always been told I had an old soul. I have never been particularly interested in much that my generation did. And to be honest, I thought I had found my other half to my soul.
Here is the thing someone who is thinking about getting involved with or is attracted to a significantly older person should consider:
People change
Your personality changes as you experience life
What happens if there is a child in the relationship
Do you think that this person would be willing to start with another young child after having almost raised thier own?
What happens if he/she becomes insecure because of low self esteem or mid life crisis.
If you are 30'ish and are interested in an older person, great go for it. But I myself would not suggest that someone in their 20's think for one second that just because you mesh well now it will last. You still have a lot to experience and that will change who you are. You are only beginning to "awaken" to life. Experiences may make you regret your decision later in life. You need to take time and discover all the different things life has to offer before settling yourself into something that may be bigger than what you had origionally expected.
I love my husband. I have no plans of anything changing anytime int he near future. But if I had it to do all over again, I probably would have just let our seperation be permanent when I was pregnant. Or at least I would have let go of the marriage idea. I would not have got married. I love my lifestyle and I love my family no matter how disfunctional it can be at times. I committed myself to this and I plan on seeing it through to the end.
But I would not advise anyone under 30 to become involved with anyone over 10 years thier senior. The age gap causes uncertainty in men and thereforee, regardless of what a woman does, she cannot "FIX" it or try to make them see anything. It won't come for a while. But just as with any relationship, the honeymoon wears off and the novelty fades. Then the "she is going to be lured by a younger man" sets in. It is jealousy magnified by each year's difference.
Each situation is different I think. But I still stand by my origional belief. I would not do it. Be friends. Experience life. If by the time you turn 28 or 29 you are still attracted to the person or if you think it is really what you want then by all means go for it. But not under 25-27. You still have so much to learn and see and realize. I know. I am still opening my eyes to what life is really about and what things really mean.
