Hey All:
I'm going through something very similar. I've been dating my bf for 2 years now. We both have been married and divorced but since his divorce he's been engaged. At the last minute they broke it off. That's been 4 years ago. Anyway his ex-wife and his girlfriend look kind of the same. Tall, slim with dark hair and I'm well let's say shorter, blonde and about 20 lbs over weight. So I've asked him why he dates me when I don't meet his specs...that's my insecurities...and he always says because I'm fun to be around. That doesn't help me feel very warm and fuzzy. So his ex-fiance lives in England and him and his 2 daughters are there visiting his best friend...the ex and the best friend don't know each other...and of course he and his kids are going to go visit her. Well even though she's remarried I needed some reassurance from him that everything is going to be ok between us even after he sees her. He doesn't believe in validation but I needed something from him. Well the last 2 weeks before he left I was really on edge because I wasn't getting what I wanted from him so for the first time in our relationship we were kind of hateful to each other. I know I shouldn't be jealous but my marriage of 20 years ended because of another women, among other things and I know that's not my bf's fault but it takes a long time to get over rejection.
I hate feeling jealous and insecure and it makes me mad that I allowed myself to let all this get to me and reacted the way I did. Bottom line our communication sucks and I'm not sure how to approach him with this. What makes me feel even worse is when I asked him if I was going to hear from him while he was gone all he could say was "well maybe by email or some s__t." So basically he doesn't want any communication with me while he's gone. That's how I took that response.
Another issue that could relate to jealousy is we were out with friends and he started talking to 2 girls and not really having much to do with me so I went over to him and asked him something and then I asked if he knew these girls and he said he met one of them once and didn't know the other one. Well I thought he was being rude by talking to these girls...I overheard the conversation he was telling them his life story...and ignoring me. I left with one of my friends and later he told me that after I left they stopped talking to him all together. Normally I wouldn't be bothered by that but I was just feeling insecure about his trip and the fact that he didn't reassure me or anything. Was I wrong to feel this way?
I hate that he's gone and I can't talk to him about any of this. So I'm thinking that maybe it's a good thing to give him his space. I hope I just didn't blow it but if I know if I did what's done is done and I can't take it back.
