I have the most amazing special boyfriend in the world yet it is as if i am intent on pulling us apart. We have been together consistently for two years and our relationship is very open and honest with so much love and respect there. Only a month ago we made the heartbreaking decision for me to have an abortion after falling pregnant unexpectedly. I am 20 but that was not the issue. My boyfriend and i are both students and have no income and do not live together, and wanted to bring a child up in a family home with security. If it was in two years when i finish uni i would have kept it and the decision was not easy. Fortunately i found out incredibly early, i was just under 5 weeks. He was my rock through it all but ever since i have been very emotional over the smallest things and being a really horrible girlfriend at the moment.
I am quite insecure and always feel i am not good enough for him because he is very good looking and is popular with a lot of people. Even though he is always telling me how much he loves me and cares for me i still seem to moan about people in his past and wanting to see his mates over me. He is a very tolerant person and is patient with me when i have all these emotional outbursts but it is not doing our relationship any good at all. We are so close but i keep opening my mouth about stuff that isnt important (ex girlfriends and other girls in general saying they are all better than me). I know he is starting to get fed up with it but i dont know how to stop. I could lose him eventually yet i still have to open my mouth when i should just say nothing. It doesnt help that i have never been in a relationship before so everything i am feeling is feelings i have never had to deal with. He is two years older and has slept with 3 girls which is very respectable for a hot guy but i bring this up sometimes and shouldnt because i am hurting myself more than i need to. Please help!
