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CreoUCLA

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  1. CreoUCLA
    Day 4 I woke up this morning... a bit hungover. After drinking too much with friends last night, I realized that it (drinking) didn't help one bit. In fact, the more I drank, the more I started to think about her. When I got home at 2am I wanted to text her, "I hate you." But, a cooler head prevailed... I just changed, brushed my teeth, and went to bed. Yesterday, I finally started to see that this break-up really is for the best. I'm finally beginning to take off my rose-colored glasses, and see that there were a lot of negatives in her behavior (she's off that pedestal). I asked myself, "Why am I holding on to someone that has already let me go?" Truth is, I don't know right now... But I do know that I don't want to hold on anymore. I have a lot to do today, but I feel so out of it. I think I'm just going to veg in front of the tv for a bit, and just take it easy... -Mike-
  2. CreoUCLA
    Just got an e-mail evite from a mutual friend about a Halloween party she's throwing... I don't think I should even bother opening it/replying to the evite. -Mike-
  3. CreoUCLA
    "If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes." -John Wooden
  4. CreoUCLA
    Don't beat yourself up over it. Just learn from it, and try not to do it again... Remember how you feel now, and use that to keep you from contacting her. That's what I've been doing. It's Saturday, so go out and do something fun for yourself. -Mike-
  5. CreoUCLA
    Day 3 Last night was kinda rough, just because I had to force myself to sleep early when I wasn't all that tired yet. Nothing like laying in a dark room, staring at the ceiling for a while... This morning is no better. I feel like reality is really setting in and that she's gone... I also received a text message from a friend around midnight who's up in S.F. visiting with his wife, asking if me and the now "ex" would like to get together tonight. I haven't talked to him in a while, so I guess he doesn't remember that she moved back down to L.A. last year. Argh. I'm still at that stage where my heart starts racing whenever the phone rings, I check my phone all the time to see if I got a text message, and I'm constantly checking my e-mail. Letting go is hard. Today I'm stuck in a classroom from 9am-4pm, then I'm going to a friend's place who is hosting a "sushi night." We're probably going out to a local bar after. Gotta get out and (try to) have some fun. -Mike-
  6. CreoUCLA
    That's what I realized before starting this challenge. She knows exactly how I feel, and I made all the mistakes in thinking that I could change her feelings. When I talked to my ex on Wednesday, it ended badly because I started trying to force her to feel/think like I was (even though I didn't see it at the time). Live and learn... -Mike-
  7. CreoUCLA
    Thanks. Here are some photos I took yesterday from my walk accross Golden Gate Bridge; link removed I just read your other post, and wanted to make a comment... "During that time I have realized a lot about myself and I want to share this with her." I made that mistake on Wednesday. After the "break" comment two weeks ago, I really took an introspective look at myself, what I want, etc. Apparently, she hadn't. She has just been going out with friends, her brothers taking her out to drink, etc. She's on her own time line, and I realized that I have to let her figure these things out in her own way. I love her, so I'm giving her what she wants - all the time/space she needs. That's also why I started this NC "challenge." -Mike-
  8. CreoUCLA
    Day 2 I actually had a dream about her last night, and ironically, she broke up with me in it. *shrug* I still had some difficulty sleeping (woke up a couple times thinking about her), but tried to think of something else in my life that made me happy and that worked in getting me back to sleep. Today, I plan to stay busy with work and then I'm meeting up with a group of friends in the early evening to play volleyball at a local gym. -Mike-
  9. CreoUCLA
    Day 1 It's been two weeks since I got the dreaded "we need to take a break" line. I had been in LC over the past two weeks with either one of us making excuses to talk to each other (mostly me, but she did call in times of loneliness saying she "misses me"). She's in a period of her life where she wants to be single, isn't sure if she's happier with/without me, needs to find herself, etc. Last night things finally came to an end where she felt that a break wasn't working (we were still talking to each other every few days), so she turned it into a break-up. So, here begins my new journey. I'm feeling nervous/sad, but as the same time I finally started to realize that she couldn't give me 100% of her and I'm starting to become optimistic again about the future. I'm still thinking about her all the time, but I know I have friends/family/school (I'm finishing my MBA/M.S. in Environmental Management this December) to work through so that should keep me pretty busy. I'm off to go take a walk accross the Golden Gate Bridge with a friend. I've never done it, and have always wanted to... -Mike-
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