Well let me start off from the beginning;
about 4years ago,about 2 years into my relationship, a friend was having a new years party and my boyfriend and I decided to go. Alot of the people there were friends of his that I had never met before.We went, and towards the end of the night i had met a friend of his that we really hit it off. Let me just explain, my boyfriend is kind of a quiet guy that I have a little difficulty keeping long conversations-you know kinda like girl talks.I cared for him alot but this guy call him smooth but we had so much in comman and and I had really enjoyed his presense. Anyway, after having a few drinks and with no one around, we had sex. I was so upset the next day and this guy and I had agreed to never discuss what had happened and forget the whole thing. Maybe that was my biggest problem. Years went by, my boyfriend and I got married and the secret remained.My husband is wonderful.He does alot of things for me( I guess that's his way of showing his feelings)but still I guess the passion may not be at it's best. Connections are not something that can be forced on.Anyway, one night this friend of his comes over(we see him alot-my husband plays hockey with him and they hang out regularly)we were playing cards, had a few drinks, joking around, my husband requests that we play strip poker!! Well unfortunately one thing led to another and a threesome happened. My husband figured that this would be something that I would like but that it was merely just like a game.Regardless, it happened, i had felt so confused the nest day and my husband and I pledged to never do that sort of thing again. That it only put a strain on our relationship. Mind you if it was to ever happen, this guy would of been the person to have it with (because I feel so comfortable with him).Well since then, this friend of his and I have talked in many deep converstions occationaly going in more over my head by pulling each other aside in a room and passionately kissing each other. Not to mention this guy will getting married in about a month. We also talked about that and he says that if he has this uncontrollable connection with me how can he be getting married. That he had pledged to himself that he would make sure when he would get married that he would have this with his fiance.(He has been with her for 11 years off and on)It's hard to explain, I love my husband dearly and this guy does not want to come between my marraige but we can not understand how we can feel so strongly.I've relized that it has nothing to do with sex but that when we talk we can almost read each others mind, finish each others sentances and feel so happy.Why is this? I feel so guilty. I love my husband- we talked about what we both want in a realtionship and in the bedroom but feelings can not be roleplayed.This guy is going to continue to get married despite this confustion but has mentioned sort of an affair. Not for sex though but just occational converstaions.I don't know what to do.Should we ignore these feelings? Is this normal? Should I even be married? Help!!!!!!!I feel so lost.
