neverbethesame

Actually, I have re-started my life. i quit smoking a month ago...YEAH!!!!!, and joined a gym, and am dieting. I've already lost 7 lbs, so I'm very excited!

I don't know why, I just feel the need to explain myself in reguards to you getting your bike out, and my feeling the need to sever ties. You are probably assuming that I am now going to make your life miserable because your marrying ******. This IS NOT the case. I truly wanted for everyone to get along, and I truly did consider you my friend. My best friend. I, however, do not feel that I am a friend to you. I feel that you keep me in your life to make YOUR life easier. You remain friendly with me to avoid any conflicts, because if there is conflict with me, whose going to be there to watch the dog, store the bike, and most of all....have our daughter on the days it's not convenient for you to? I never minded doing nice things for you, never. But, you are choosing to start a new life with someone that does not accept our friendship, and wants you away from me. Us remaining friends will only cause conflict. Unneeded conflict. My plate is already full enough. The last thing I would need is you and her coming to pick up the bike, and me getting yet another dirty look. I have never done anything wrong to her, and never would. But I think it's best, for everyone involved, for us to not be so chummy. That will also avoid conflicts between the two of you. I want you to be happy. I truly do, your my daughters father, and I want you to have a good life. This does not mean that I am going to turn into a * * * * * to you, or be rotten, or deceiving. I will still be civil, because there's no reason for me not to. I don't hate you by no means. But, for my benefit, also, I have to step back. I just feel that I am used and taken advantage by you. I, also, have allowed that to happen. My nice gestures are not appreciated, they are taken for granted. I can't deal with it anymore. I don't know if I'm making sense to you at all, but I hope it makes some sense. I feel like I have lost my best friend, but you know as well as I do, that it's just going to cause problems. Don't even waste your energy "taking care of this issue" with *******, like you keep telling me. I really don't care what she thinks of me. I really don't. But, I do want you to have a good life. I wish you the best. HIS RESPONSE Just chill out, and stop digging . Remember that I am 10 years older than you, and my worst fears are to suffer and die of cancer, or be old and lonely because I'm to impossible to live with like my mother. I worked my * * * off to get my first house and finally build one. And I lost everything and went bankrupt because an * * * * * * * like Ed was so much more important. I don't want to be alone, and it's time for me to start over and try to get a little bit of what I had back. A fixer upper house at 40 sucks, but thats all that I can do, and I feel lucky about it. The last thing that I need is you messing with me, and as far as I'm concerned, nothing changes, your still my daughters mom and my close friend. I never have and never will use you. As goofy as it sounds, I ask you to do things sometimes, because I want you to feel needed. Do you really think that I needed to keep my bike in your garage? Think about it. Chill out and let me take care of the issues, in the end, there won't be any. Have a little faith, and stop talking to me like I'm dead. I'm am very much here and still a part of your life...... SO, HOW SHOULD I TAKE THIS?????? P.S. Ed is a guy I cheated with towards the end of our marriage, but He cheated on me twice before that.

It is HER choice not to join us for the holidays. I have always giver her an invitation. She spends the holidays with her children by herself because my exhusband "doesn't want ot be bothered" with her kids. I have not gone out drinking with them in a long time, but there have been quite a few times that just he and I have drank together, or he would just show up at my house for somewhere to sleep, as the two of them have got into a fight. When she got together with my ex, he and I were still married and living together. I happened to go to my parents house for the weekend to clear my mind, and this woman slept in MY bed, and my house. SO, I believe she knew what she was getting into when she got involved. She wants him to move far away from me and his daughter because she thinks that we might be sleeping together, which has never happened. When you get together with a man that's still married, I'm sorry, but that should be a red flag thatyou'll be cheated on, too. And he has cheated on her a couple of times, just not with me. I couldn't believe he proposed to her! I'm heartbroken about this. I know he doesn't love her, he just can't be alone.

Hi, I am new to this forum. I am 32 yrs old and have a 10 year old daughter with my exhusband. We divorced 3 years ago, but remained friends over the past 3 years. I mean, we talk everyday. There have been times that I have gone out drinking with him and his girlfriend ( the one he left me for). It took awhile after the divorce for me to let the anger go, but eventually I did. So, right when we separated, he immediatley moved in with this girl. Their relationship has continued over the past three years, with the exception of a couple of break ups. Well, I just found out that he proposed to her. I am sooo hurt by this and don't know why. She has a problem with me and him being friends, and has made that very clear to him. I don't think she likes the fact that i will ALWAYS have a bond with him, because we have a child together. I decided to sever our relationship yesterday, because I feel it's only going to cause problems in the long run. For some reason, he doesn't want to sever the friendship. He just keeps telling me he'll take care of the issue of her not liking us to hang out. Well, I think it's best, for all, that we don't. Why would my ex want to stay friends? Sometimes, I feel that he wants to keep me in his life for security reasons. I don't know. How do you all feel about being friends with the ex, and actually hanging out. I am very close to his parents, and we actually still spend xmas together, minus his girlfriend, because we want to celebrate together for my daughter. ANY insight on this would be great. Good or bad. Thanks.