mrmaximum

Amen to that. You know I understand that there are a few things that people can't control, however there are quite a few things that we can!! This is just me, but I work in a nightclub two days a week. I have very good looking woman approaching me a good portion of the time. I have no problem saying no, or just walking away, that gets the point accross very effectively. I know that I could technically get away with it, the wife doesn't come by very often and we live far enough away that I could come home and she would never know. I still don't, even with women around me all the time and people that I work with who could give me an alibi, I still don't. Listen, if I can with weekly temptations, I can't see how others give in. If you think the temptation will be too great, LEAVE the situation. We aren't dogs or cats, we're people who can think and reason. I'm sorry I have no sympathy for that. At every stage in the affair someone could have stopped, someone could have said no. You can't fix a marriage by going outside of it!! I do wish you the best kermit, you had the courage to post, radioheader, I hope things turn out for the best for you becuase you so didn't deserve what happened to you. Gang, cheating never solves anything and the collateral damage effects everyone. There is no excuse, whatsoever!!

Wow Hunter that really is too bad. Is this relationship salvageable? You are the best judge of that, however, you really need to tell your wife what you have told us. If I am off base and am completely wrong, forgive me, but it sounds like she believes that she is justified in doing what she's done. Sorry, that just doesn't fly. Everyone has problems, every relationship has issues, some choose to talk about it and fix things and others decide to take a more selfish route. She isn't the one who should be making demands, or even requests. That is the position you are in, you where the one that was betrayed, twice. She needs to stop thinking about what you can do for her and what she needs to do for you, and she has to realize that she may have to do this to get your trust back for a very long time. As Dr. Phil says "As long as it takes!" No one is perfect, not in the slightest and you can talk about your relationship and what was wrong with it later after you have healed a little bit, but she has to stop being so selfish and thinking about her and her own needs and what you did or didn't do to 'make her do that". The choice is up to you in the end, if you had no kids, I'd say walk, but your child complicates things. I'll just tell you what my Fiancee (who was in your position) tells people in your situation; "Children would rather be from a broken home than live in one"

Thought I’d weigh in on this subject and get a fathers’ (step) point of view in here. Now My fiancée’s two children are obviously not mine and yes, there are times that their behavior drives me up the wall (my step daughter has ADHD, plus some other situations that have piggybacked on for the ride) ](*,) but the bottom line is that I’d rather them than a lot of other kids that I know. I can’t say that I love them yet, and because of their past, (Both father’s have proven to be ‘dorks’) they aren’t too quick to trust and they can’t say that to me, but I wouldn’t give them up for the world. Yes, you do have a higher tolerate your kids more than anyone else’s’ that is SO true!! I’m a step dad, imagine having your own??