bluetwo

Yes but Closure is a great thing for peace of mind too, helps you move on with your live, being trapped with a bad conscience is bad energy to carry around each and everyday, a truthful and candid chat (after initial open ended general chat of course) to her the only person in the world I could express these repressed feelings in me, would be a massive load of my mind. In other words if I don't think of her as an ex-gitlfriend I am trying to get back but a person whose friendship I valued and would like her to know same.

On the button evening light! my ego took a hit alright! thats why I feel contact would be selfish in a way, but I'd like to tell what a great friend she was to me..and I suppose she never fully disclosed why she turned away from me, in a way its closure for me and an apology to her! By the way not in a letter, but a friendly call followed by a meet up.. but initiating seems is a hurdle I am a little scared off at the moment..

Hi, I have gotten over a break-up of four months ago, but I am in turmoil over the nature of the breakdown, In a nutshell my ex girlfriend broke up me because I think she fell out of love/fondness for me because she doubted my commitment.. she was right from the start i doubted within myself my commitment to her mainly because of my fondness to the single life, ye I carried on the relationship for 11 months with occasional feelings of guilt during the period, particulartly when her friends told me she was mad about me and when she showered me with gifts for my Birthday..Friends close to me adviced that I would fall into it and forget about the single life, but her doubts surfaced after 9 months or so (we were a weekend couple), I suppose body language and lack of action and initiative on my behalf were the clues for her I also occasionally thought about breaking up with her during the 11 months but didn't want to hurt her and for selfish reason I badly wanted to fall for her, after a number of these infractions suspicion grew in her mind, by the way she is the smart independent type. It came to a head on a holiday together when she distanced herself from me, after the holiday we broke-up.. I am very fond of her as a person I would love to talk to her to clear the air and ease my conscience, but after Four Months, ringing her for a chat and a possible meet up seems maybe the wrong thing to do.. But for me its Closure, I would love to tell her I think the world her as a human being and accept we are not couple material, Should I let sleeping dogs lie or should I initiate contact afte 4 months?

I think the fact that i didn't respond to her hints of how she preceived the way a proper relationship should work, in other words she suspected i wasn't as commited as she was because there was little or no effort on my part to reciprocate in relationship, her imagination and thought process then led her to belief through my inactions and body language that I was stringing her along, which there is an element of truth, which i'd dearly love to turn back time and mend the cracks, but her decisiveness has made it need on impossible for me to make contact with her, I really am quiet proud and don't want to go back crying over spilt milk.. I think for me its a case of you don't appreciate what you got till its gone.

First post here, Well I'll fill you in on my tale of woe, It's four whole long months since my Break-up with my first proper girlfriend ( I am 27), We were together for 11 months, seeing each other at weekends throughout this period.. I met my then girlfriend as I have met many girls on a night out.. I chatted her up got on very well, went back to her apartment that night for a Kiss and a cuddle no more, she as a chaste girl of high standards, much to my thrill the next day she sent me a lovely text saying ho much she enjoyed meeting me etc.. and from there on we started dating, therein the problems started.. These problems were mainly with me, basically I had been footloose and fancy free for years, loving the thrill of the chase being out with the guys chasing girls etc..being in a relationship ended this for me I now had to commit to a relationship, I found this intensely hard to adjust even though my girlfriend was goodlooking great company and smart to boot..My friends adviced me I'd eventually fall into relationship, This is advice I took, but I couldn't help but feel guilty when her friends told me she was mad about me I could tell this as well by the way she'd smile and after a few weeks together she bought me a lovely present for my Birthday again I felt guilty and somehow didn't feel I was 100% commited ( I never did the dirt or thought about it) After about 8 months together, She started to pick up on this, dropping hints about friends relationships etc.. gifts etc..gradually she started to laugh alot less at my jokes and a frown developed.. Things came to a head on an ill-fated holiday when her suspicions about my commitment to the relationship came to a head with a frank exchange one night.. I didn't argue back because I was fed up with the bad vibes on the Holiday, Well she rang when we got home she suggested things weren't right and we should part company.. I paniced a little decided we should meet up next evening to discuss the situation, I was convinced we could save things, I agreed things were not as they should have been, I told her it was probably my Fault (which I still firmly believe) she admitted she was a little shocked as she thought i felt the same that the relationship had no future, I didn't bank on her resolve to breaking up.. and that was that.. I broke NC after 3 months and months to give her a card and present for her birthday, she thanked for same and wished me the best for 2007 (which I felt was a thanks but a goodbye too) it's been over a month and half since then with no contact. I do miss her and would love to know how she is doing, but have too admit I ould be hurt if I knew she was with someone else, I also have pride and don't want to lose my dignity by contacting her.. she might read into it the rong, by nature is quiet and I'd imagine she'll never contact me either.. to ring or not to ring that is the question?