goetzie7

Everyone wants the support and dependance of who they have been with for the last three years. ITs natural to hold onto something. Even something that was not good for you. I am going through the same thing now with my ex. Although I still love him, he is with someone new now. And I am still friends with people who are still friends with him, and I also live two seconds away. So I see his car at her place and vice versa. Its alot more complicated than what I have just told you because we have had contact, and no one else knows about it. But you began to learn that life does go on. I am now learning not to call him when I am drunk, and not to wish he was with me. So many people who are friends with the both of us, tell me that I am better off. So I am sure that you are better off. Just think about the fact that atleast it isn;t you that needs to deal with her anymore. I know you want to, but the next time she calls, just tell her that its not your problem anymore. I have been doing that with my ex when he calls to tell me his problems. I feel better about myself, and I don't end up crying. She might want to keep contact with you because she still feels love towards you. I am sure she does. But neither of you need that now. Move on. She will either realize what she lost or not. Either way you will learn for yourself who she really is and whether or not you want to be with her.

Well I don't intend to call him, or even hook up with him. We weren't like that when we were together. Regardless of how uncomfortable I could make him, he has to go because we are both in the wedding. He is a groomsman and I am a bridesmaid. The thing is, I am over him too. Like I have moved on. But there is always a piece of me that will love him. As I know its the same with him. We didn't end the relationship in the right way, but I am defently going to just let it be. And see how it goes.

My ex boyfriend and I broke up April 23rd, 2000. We had been together for three years, and well for the last year were pretty miserable because of outside factors. We were at different points in our lives at that time, and I have come to terms with that and the break up. For awhile it took me a long time to get over him, and I did alot of things that I wish I could take back but I am over that now. He started to see another girl a few weeks after we broke up and than they had moved in together a month after that. I never understood that, but on the other hand I do know that him and I were both hurt in the situation. Breaking up is never easy to do, for either side. Both of you lose at first, but in the end I feel as though we both have won. The point of this story is my brother and my ex were friends, and they have had a troubled relationship because of the break up. However, they have gotten over that trouble since I am better now and my brother just wants me to be happy. My brother is getting married in the end of june and both of us are in the wedding. I have not seen this guy in three years, and my heart feels like it is going to jump out of my body. I have seen ex boyfriends before and not felt this way. I know that he has also recently become single, and will be going to the wedding single as I have. So many things have changed since we broke up and I have grown up so much since we were together, and I also thought he was my soul mate and never fully got over him. I guess I am trying to put this all together and see what others think about the situation. I want so bad to tell him how I feel but I can't. That everytime something bad or sad, or good has happened in the past three years I have thought about him. I have dated, I have had boyfriends, I have had casual sex, I have had drunken nights, and most of all I have loved again. But I still believe he is the one, and I don't think I can live with myself if I let this opportunity go out the door. I mean how many times will the both of us be single at the same time? Please let me know what you feel about this and should I just let it go, and not even say anyhting to him. Should I just play it cool, and go on how he reacts?

Well there are many reasons that she could be acting this way. I do not know the girl. I can give you a few possible reasons why I would act that way in that situation. The two of you were happy at first, and than things had happened and you began to realize the future was closer to you than her. Regardless if you realized this or not but you had changed. You wanted to be with her because you loved her but you also wanted to experience certain things without her, and to grow into yourself. So I ask you why could you not do this with her? If you have love for her than why was it necessary to break it off for the two of you to be happy? But she is acting the way she is because that is all she has. When my boyfriend and I broke up (we dated for three years too, and i was the younger one) I went nuts. He broke my heart but in the end i now realize it was the best thing to do. Neither of us could experience what we did if we had been together because we were NOT meant to be together at that point in time. Who knows for the future. Let her be. Try to move on, and DO NOT BE FRIENDS with her. IT makes it worse, trust me. You can never go back, one day you might be able to add on to what you had, but you can never go back. I heard this quote once "lovers who remain friends are still in love or never were", think about that. Do you want to be the ones that were never in love? Take what you have had with her and remember the good times and move on. Don't make it worse and lose the potential future you could have with her. I lost it with my ex by going psycho and ruining it.