Guitar

looked at it again today. What is the problem with me getting closer? I want to have this "go out with the lads" "live life to the full" attitude, but when it comes to the clubs and bars my confidence (in terms of meeting new people) falls flat on its face. I keep thinking of being in love with my ex like we used to be.... im just twisting a dagger into a old wound (God thats awful corny sorry!). I just want to have fun, and meet a few girls and make new friends. If I can do that, and if I can put all this ex stuff behind me I'll be delighted. Maybe one day her and I can say hello to one another again on the street if we bump into one another.

You're right Honeyspur. Thanks for the replies. I just need to be myself again and get over the stupid stuff I did after the breakup. Driving myself around the twist with it, knowing fully I cant build a time machine and change my reaction. Great relationship, great friendship. Ended badly. Stupid mistakes. People move on. Time for me to move on fully. 18 months too long. Christ I gotta cop on! thanks to all that read and replied G

hi - this story is similar to mine! ONly I did send those letters explaining how I felt and what I wanted etc...if ya need someone to talk to pm me. I know what your goin through. I started a thread here yesterday. Its been 18 months since my breakup and even though Im over her, alot of things still annoy me! You will move on, its an old cliche but time is a healer

Ah, its really depends on what "it" is! This is all gonna sound stupid.... I look at that webpage (go to www dot bebo dot com and you'll see the kinda thing that it is) and putting the corniness of that site aside I still 100% dont find her attractive, nor there is no spark for her even though she is nice looking and I loved her for years. It just bothers me she what she is portraying herself as. I know this person and even though she likes to have fun now and again, I think this is a little over the top. None of my business now I suppose. Hate the way I reacted to the breakup, made a fool out of myself. Nothing I can do about it now but wish I knew how to stop thinking bout it. I miss the comfort, and it annoys me that all we went through is now only a learning curve and a phase in life. - And lastly it bothers me that all that above bothers me, and that one of those things are on my mind at least once a day...18 months on. I know people say ya should fill the day with things ya like, enjoy life, be yourself again and eventually someone will come along when you are not looking. Wish was that simple. Maybe hypnosis is an option !!

Thanks for taking time to reply Honeyspur. Appreciated alot. Yeah i did all that about 3 months after... the love letters, photos, presents all chucked out! I;m really annoyed at the way she's acting now...that website page (bebo) was a shock to me. I wasnt jealous of her or anyone close to her...I felt cheated; like it was an act when she was with me, or that she's not herself now. And Im fed up that I care about the situation and her. I just wanna let go. It was a great relationship, I just wish I hadnt made a fool of myself, I wish we were civil to one another and I wish she wasnt acting like a tramp or an immature school girl at the age of 24/25 Maybe I just need more time, and look for more things to do in my life to fill the gaps and stop the constant analyzing on things that dont really matter anymore.

I think 18 months is along time and I think I should be well over her and the situation at this stage. I wish I was, I hate it being on my mind and I hate having to look for advice! I have forgiven her, but I dont think she forgiven me over the events that occurred after the breakup. She tried but I was too foolish and blind in my attempts to wooh her and win her back. Id love to be civil with her, as in if I were to bump into her on the street or elsewhere that we could say "hi, how are you?" instead of avoiding one another. I havent dated much, the confidence isnt the best...Ive been with 4-5 women and slept only with one (not a fan of one night stands I gotta say!).

Hey all. Im fed up feelin down every second minute n pickin myself up and tellin myself to cop on. Im 24, and nearly 18 months ago a 4 year relationship ended, which I took badly. It was my first real long term relationship. We both mad about another or so I thought. We made some stupid mistakes like drifting from friends,not making new ones etc...basically hanging out of each other during college. IT was either her or my classmates in college that I hung around with. Both got on really well with our families, she rang me every night for 4 years. Really nice looking girl, and what I tought had a heart of gold About 3 months before it ended I Went to end it as I thought she was getting bored and losing interest. SHe ended up crying and begging me to take it back. I told her how delighted I was she cried and how much I loved her etc...At this stage she was 60 miles or so away from home and I only saw her on weekends. 3 months later she came home with a note to me saying she was in a club with her workmates and a guy made a pass at her. It went on to say that she didnt kiss him but wanted to. I flipped, said it was over. Walked off, she ran after me. We sorted things out. 3 days later she ended it. I was really down for 2 months solid. Went from talking to nobodt to pouring my heart to every mate and half mate I knew. Coudnt eat properly for a week. Embarressing now come to think of it. Complete fool are words that spring to mind. I begged her, left horrible depressing (drink played a little part here) voice messages on her phone, and (the bit that kills me and I cant believe I still did it) listened to her voicemails on 4 occasions as I knew her pin number. I know Im a fool for getting so upset and an even bigger unforgiveable fool for tormenting her and listening to her messages. I eventually snapped out of it, and 7 or 8 months later bumped into her in a club. She completely blanked me after just saying hello. She wants nothing to do with me. Im not upset about that as I was, but I find it weird all the same. I cant stop thinking about the whole thing. A friend of mine sent me a link a week ago of her bebo(stupid website in my opinion) page (Which Im surprised at 'cas I thought she wouldnt be into that thing). She's portraying herself something like a 17yr old slapper whose addicted to the net and loves all this chat,photos bebo crap. Not that it has anything to do with me but it kinda disappoints me a little that she's showing herself to be like this. Pics of her wearin skimpy close drunk out of her mind...it does niggle at me a little. I deleted the email and dont have the link now but I remember it being tacky, immature and slutty to be honest. I know when girls get out of a long term relationship they go for the fun thing but this seems a little over the top and a bit weird. I know what alot will say now, I felt like saying it to myself as I typed. GET OVER IT and MOVE ON! Yeah, I tried. I finished college, made some new mates, living with 2 best friends and got a new job....but I miss what I had and I hate lettin go of our history. Sad, I know. Ive read over what I wrote there now and sometimes I wouldnt care, but its like the first line reads - "every second minute". I wish I could go to bed for a week or to without thinking of this situation that was 1 1/2 years ago. Theres great points to what happened. I can be a lads lad again, be with my mates etc... but if Im honest deep down I havent been happy in a long while. Sorry for the rant but kinda needed to get it out there.