Waelfwulf

To be honest, I think if I want this girl back, which I do... I need to leave love behind for the time being. It's like Im meeting her for the first time. As for the games? Most people may not agree, but you start playing the second two people get involved, but you don't really notice it because it comes naturally. What I mean by games is for example, not giving her everything she wants when she wants it, she'll get bored and leave, thats what I said about being a challenge. Which, I think, is what I should be doing right now. If she keeps this up, I need to let her know little bit by little bit that I notice, and play along some times, and push her away others, so she sees that Im still in control of myself. Who knows, if I play my cards right, I might be able to get her back the way we were before. This is how we started out, she was flirting, and I was ignoring, her, just being out of a serious relaitonship. But if it doesn't work, and she is ONLY interested in the attention I was giving, then I left our love with my memories of us, not with the person I see before me. If new love can bloom from that, then it will, if not, then I'll be ok.

Ok, crazy turn of events here. Last night I decided I was done with headgames, and just told her striaght up "Since probably about last week till when Picked you up for the movie, I was trying to get you back, but in the theater, I had just good solid fun, and I don't want to mess that up, so I think friends is the best thing we could do" You know what she did? The unexpected. Then she started with me, like hardcore flirting, when I was going to bed she said "night night love", thats something I haven't heard since dating. Part of me is worried that she didn't have any intention of getting back together, but was enjoying the attention, if that's the case, I can play that game so well, I could probably work things back together, but would that be the relationship I want? I think I just need to feel her out on that one too see if it's legit. Also, I heard she cheated on during the last bit of our relationship, no one can give me details, or when it happened, "at a party" but thats it, so Im not sure how true it is, people were trying to sabatoje us since we started. She of course denies it, but this makes me wonder, she kind of fits that behaviour pattern now... I hope its not true, if she is only interested because I've stopped giving her attention, then that hurts a little, but Im going to play the game to find out what she's up to. Make her wait and what not. Im not sure, just wish me luck.

Thats how I feel. I'm not cool with lying, but I'm honest to her, I love this girl, man... A lot of girls give me advice and say "just tell her how you feel" That doesn't really work... I tried it once. She wants a hard to get single guy, and that's who Im becoming. It's working out ok, but even if it doesn't, I still tried, and yes, I'll be able to move on so easily. -------------------------- *followup I just called her, and I think that I need to change tactics a little. Im joking with her and all that good stuff, but when I've noticed that when I say something, like, how Im going to drop by it has a more "back to business" aproach, and with her, may not work. Anyway, advice here? Keep things fresh, and let her know your interested, while seeming uninterested, tease that a little bit, go back and forth between wanting, and not caring. It works out ok. Another thing... If you ever get her back, you need to stay this new person, the "getting her back" part of your relationship should be building him, and that's who you need to be if you want to date her again. That's part of love, doing anything for a person, and if it's changing, then do it! Thanks for the comments peeps.

As the title emplies, this is more from a man's point of view, and men may benefit more from it than women (Seeing as how I'm a dude, sorry ladies, we're mostly the ones with this kind of problem). This is my first post, and to be honest, there's a girl that I'm still head over heels for. Like many relationships, we grew apart, starting when I moved home, I wanted her to be a certain way, I wanted something different from her, but I still loved her. Just a little after I realized how good I really had it, she left me saying that she was a burden on me, because I didn't want to spent that much time with her (not true, but I guess it looked like that). So, I felt aweful for a bit, I didn't want her back right at first, she called me one day, and hearing her voice brought it all back, and thats when I decided "I'm going to get this girl back" the advice starts here What was I going to do? I had it all planed, I was going to drive out to her place, and recite the thing I was practicing all evening, a great spoken love note about how she was never a burden, how I still love her things different.. blah blah blah.... Then something happened, she called me, and said that she needed to help her cousin move in, and that she wouldn't be free for another 2 hours, and I thought... "hey..." grew a pair of balls, called her at 8 and said I couldn't start my car. Some of us might be saying "but why?" well, I'll tell you, and this is something I feel I really need to tell you dudes who wonder what went wrong. Bear with me... If you love her, and you're willing to do anything to get her back... would you be willing to be a man again? Thats right. Women want, as far as I can tell, from movies and real life, a strong (mentally or physcially), confidant man in total control of himself and his emotions. Is that you? If you're telling her you love her, that you want her back, that you more or less being a * * * * * about things, I don't know how well it would work. So, listen up. She's probably got some dude in her sights someplace, it may be major, but if you two just broke up, then it might just be a little atraction, and you're probably still in the game if you play your cards right. Before you go feel worse, know this, you got to stop that. Right now, just stop it. It's not going to help you one bit. You got to be the man you were when you met, get that mystery back! get back your confidance, be yourself, because thats who you were before she was making eyes at you accross the room, before you ran into eachother on a street corner.. Women, hell, anyone, in a relationship like to feel that youwant them, over anyone else! You need to make her feel like there are girls crawling off you, but you'd take her over them. Another thing you need to do, is get over her, or at least act like it, you need to really believe that you can live without her, because you can, you got one awesome girl, why can't you get another when you want later? Once you have your mindset prepared, that you are cool, confidant, that you could see her kiss another dude infront of you, but not give a * * * *, because you could get her teacher if you wanted. Once you're shaving again, doing your hair just so, feeling sexy and smelling great (good teeth help too), then you go to start work on her You need to let her see somehow that you are this new man, or hell, the old you from days past when you met. You need to make her laugh, you need to make her feel emotionally vulnerable, get her unsure, make her second guess leaving you, because look how good you are now. In the case where she's "just done" Im not sure if there's much to do, but you can still try. I've heard people say "let her know your still available" thats not good. That goes against the part of making her feel like you could get anyone you want. Do you want her to feel like you can't get anyone but her? Hell no!! Try calling her now and then, but keep things short. Try and make her laugh by being kind of an * * *, don't really give her a straight answer unless you know, it's really serious. For example, she sais "I'm off to play Wii with the guys" make a "wii" joke, it's obvious, but you might get a little laugh out of her. Start small. Throw in a little innuendo. Your goal here is to get her to give you the attention. If you're always calling her and always starting everything, thats not much of a challenge, now is it? Make a few jokes while telling her about your day, call her a name playfully if she does somethig silly, but then cut it short, say "Oh, I've got to go clean up, but call me around (8, tomorrow sometime)" or something like that, to get her to start things up. This is ultimatly flirting, but that's probably what she's looking for, a fun smart, confidant guy. Theres not a whole much I can say, because I don't know everyone's situation, but don't let your emotions tell you what to do, make your head give you heart instructions. If she says she wants to see you at 4, then tell her you're busy, but you can see her at 4:30/ It's important... that you're always the one leading, that you make her play your game Otherwise she may lose interest. Lead her on, flirt, have fun. It's ok that you call her at times, but make it so its on your terms as often as you can. She'll test you, she'll say "jump", and she wants to know if you'll say "how high". What she wants to hear is "make me", if you do say "how high", she'll end up classifying you as a harmless male friend, and you may be out of the dating books forever. But, listen now, if that happens, it's ok, because thats the mindset you have, so what if she doesn't want you, you could get with someone else who will make you feel just as great later. Who knows if this helps, I think it just boils down to "don't be a * * * * *, don't be her * * * * *, because if you are she'll be with a new man, or gone so fast your head will spin" Now Back to my situation, I'm very unsure of how she's feeling. I know there was another dude in the equasion somewhere, but she's still single. I've got her calling me more, and starting msn first, and even inviting me to movies since I got this new angle. Every time I think of the good, there's something negative that shoots it down, but then something positive that shoots that down. I don't know how it will end, hopefully good, but if she just wants to be friends, and she really is just done with all that is me, then thats ok, but it doesn't mean, I or anyone else shouldn't try... Unless she you know, is already dating, otherwise you look like a creeper, and thats pretty bad. Did this help anyone out?