If anyone has made some bad decisions, it has to be me; in fact I will deem myself the Queen. I am 29 years old and divorced. I dated a man for 1.5 years and we broke up on 2.21.03 and my life has been hectic and uncertain ever since. I loved this man with all of my heart and we had a good relationship. My concern was that he would not commit to me and I was tired of waiting. He made up excuses or avoided the subject altogether.
Before we broke up, I found out a man I work with was interested in me. I was anxious about this because we work together and due to possible disciplinary implications if we were discovered (I am a member of the Management team and he is an hourly employee who reported to me). I couldn’t help our mutual attraction though and we engaged in some harmless flirting. I refused to do anything because I was still dating my boyfriend and the work ethic. Once I learned I was transferring to another department, we decided to get together as friends and we hit it off. It was after that is when I decided to break up with my boyfriend and date this man.
At first things were perfect, this man admitted he had a crush on me for months but never pursued it because I was involved with someone. He knew what I was looking for and he has provided everything I have ever wanted from someone. He has proposed to me, took me into his home and set it up for me, he has paid my portion of the rent until I break my lease with my own apartment, he knows how much I wanted a child and we recently learned I am pregnant, and his family has welcomed me w. open arms. I should feel so lucky to have such a wonderful and caring man.
But the truth is, I am MISERABLE. I am severely depressed and NOT happy anymore. I regret breaking up with my boyfriend and not giving our relationship more time so he would feel ready to commit. Would he have commit? I have no idea but that is a risk I should have taken and I regret I didn’t. I still love him desperately and wish he was in my life and I am contemplating ending this engagement and pregnancy so I can attempt to win him back.
I don’t know what to do. I care for the man I am involved with but I am not in love w. him. Maybe I should give it more time since we have so much invested now.
Can someone please HELP me? I am at my wits end.
Thank you for reading and helping.
