sombody

Iv looked stuff up on the internet and theres somthing call refuges for domestic vilonce. Its like a shelter full of women who have been throuhg what im going through. They have them all around england apparently. But i think im gonna have to start with the police which i really do not want to do, im so scared to do that. I never wanted to endager my children, i still dont think he would ever touch them they are the only thing have left and i love them soo so much. I think im gonna do it, i dotn know where to start with the pollice though, the womens shelter sounds good and they rehouse you and everything as far away from the abuser as possible. What do i do, where do i start with the police, i love him deep down but when my little boy walked in on him doing that to me i think thats made me think. Where do i start with the police ?

Im just finding it so hard to cope, He says he loves me but still does this. I am completley isolated and arnt aloud to talk to anyone. My little boys friends mum invited me out for dinner with a group of her friends and my husband trevor was there when she asked and he said b4 i coulld even answer " oh sorry we are busy that night" when the only thing keeping him busy is him punching me about. But he is a good dad so iv got to be greatfull, the kids love him and he loves them so i suppose as long as they are happy it doesnt matter. He came home blind drunk last night demanding sex i dint say no this time because i knew what can happen when i say that, he was digustingly rough and horrible he knew i hated everysecondbut do ya wanna know the worst thing my son walked in on it when he was getting rough and and saw me cry. but trevor said to him that he was "playing an acting game with mummy and mummy was acting like he does at achool and there was soo much questions being asked but now i think he know that it was nuthing which im so thanksfull for he is only 5 years old.but i havent had a chance to speak to him on my own but i will do as soon as i get a chance. If your still listening thanxs This was just somthing to get out of my system, im sorry for posting and wasting your time. Im just very confused and scared , deep down i love this guy so badly an he loves me i just dont like this horrible side to him. But io cant call the police or anythink on to him i really cant , but im gonna try and make this better, when my baby chloe gets a lil bit older im gonna ask him if i can get back to work and hopfully he will say yes and i could put her in a cresh then it would make it a bit better. The way i see it is as long as my children are not geting hurt thats all what matters. Im an adult il have to cope. Hes gone out with some friends at the moment but all lday he has been lovly been really sorry about yesterday night he brought me flowers and let me put my feet up p and took care of the baby while i had an hours sleep. I know it doesnt take away what happened last night but at least he is trying. But i think asking to go bck to work is a good idea, what do u think?

Thanxs for the replys. snowgirl- most of them were right except he wasnt abused as a child or ever saw it. He is very calm and charming in front of others hes got alot of friends. I remember this one time when i was out with trevor at the supermarket and he saw his friends wife and a couple of other girls and they came up to me and said they absolutly loved him and thought he was georgous and wished they could find sombody like him, this was like the day after one of his horrible nights so i just nodded and smiled. and i live in England. I know i lov him though, and that i couldnt live bymyself he isnt just nasty thought, he can be lovly when he is around people, and we are at home with the kids its just when it get s near to night he starts getting really horrible unbearble even. Its hard to believe that i left school with 12 a- b gcse,c and a child care qwalification but non of it comes into good use, but iv learnt as long as my kids are happy thats al lthat matters. He would never hurt the kids and is great with them he loves them so much ., i could never leave him, i love him soo much and he feels the same what would i say to them, sorry you cant see daddy anymore because daddy wanted to hurt mummy, it doesnt work like that. He will always be legally agble to see his children and then he wil get to me too. anyway if i was to leav he would find us and would kill me. I know i hate what he does but as long as the kids and trevor are happy ,i suposse thats all what matters. Anyways i love him oo much and know i couldnt live with out him and he know that too becaue he has told me this. thanxs anyways guys.

Umm iv never really talked about this at all with anyone b4 so hear goes. Iv been marred to my husband for 7 years been with him for 10 years, im 26 hes 35. Iv got a 5 year old boy and 2 girls age 3 and 4 months baby. He gets really abusive 2wards me all the time, iv always got bruises on me. The other night he came home after being out with his friends i just got the baby to sleep after a bad day and he comes home blind drunk and tryed it on with me i said no and pushed him away and he jsut flipped he dragged me upstairs by my hair and was nedding me inmy stomach and was punching me and the worst thing was which i thought he wouldnt even have is palled a gun out on me and well umm he forsed himself on me with that in my mouth. But he was really sorry in the morning and told me it was the drink not him so there wasnt much i could do. He is great with the kids though, they love him. im gona add he would never lay a hand on them which i am so glad off. He has a real good job but wont let me work im trained as a nursry nurse but ever since iv had the kids he wont let me work, iv tryed b4 but he just got angry. Trevor hated my familly and friends and they hated him i had a huge fall out with them so we ended up moving so iv never seen them again in like 7 years., So ihave no one to talk to about it becaue he doesnt like me to talk rto people really so i tend to not so im real issolated. He has cheated on me three time 1 off them was a one night stand and two were long flings which hurt me so badly but he says they mean nuthing blah blah blah but i dont go out at all except for the sahopping and he still says that if mi do ill be haveing an affair. But thats just the bad sides when he takes me out hes ovly when we are with the kids and he can be soo gentel and nice and you would not think he was the same person , he does everything for us and dont know how i would cope without him i deffently wouldnt everythng he does say is right but its jsu twhen those bad sides kicks in he get horribe. He gets liek horrible and abusive bout at least 4 times a week but thats when the kids are asleep. Sex is another thing this is my first and only relationship i have ever had so i wouldnt probly no , but if i dont give it to him he will go mad and make me do it anyways its everynight and possibly morning like isaid iv said no b4 but it endds badly sonow i v just got to put up with it, making me wear stuff i dotn feel compferrtble in and doing stuff i dont want at times. But he is my husband and if i dont do it he will go to sombody else who will. This was jsut somthing to get out of my head, sorry if it was to long and i board you what do you think of this situation anyones relasuionships like this? any advice plz on how to keep it more under comtrollbecause im starting to crack and dunno how to cope. thanxs for listening if you did and sorry for just blabering.