I need some advice. I am a 28 year old woman with two children. My hubby and I have been married 5 years. Since we started dating 8 years ago, porn has been an issue in our relationship. He had it, said he got rid of it, but it was a lie.....this was the beginning of many many lies to come. He once racked up $800.00 on our cable bill for porn. Then racked up another $250.00 4 years later. I have tried everything, I even tried watching it with him but when he knew all of the girl's names and began talking about them like he knew them I almost got sick. Needless to say that wasn't for me. So finally (he says) he has none because he knows how it makes me feel, but it is really hard to believe it.
As a side note: He also grabbed the breasts of one of the strippers at his bachelor party and he has never admitted that it was wrong so i feel like he does not think it was wrong.
Okay so here is the issue at hand. He is going to his brother's bachelor party in Portland soon. They are going to Portland (not Seattle which is where we live) because you can drink in all the strip clubs. I am so upset about it! I feel like it is cheating. I hate imagining that some other woman is rubbing her breasts and genitals all over him. It literally makes me sick. I don't want him to go...I feel like that stuff should be left behind when you get married. On the other hand I don't want to tell him he can't go to his brothers bachelor party, I think that would be controlling. Please help! I know I have self-esteem issues and I know that I don't have to greatest body image after having children but I still feel like my husband is crossing a line. First of all why go overnight to a completely different state and why does it matter if you can drink IN the club? I am very distraught....need some opinions.
