So_lost

Sounds like a tough situation. Here is what I suggest... She says the she need to "re-build" her feelings for you?... Where did they go? It sounds to me that you are the romantic type which is good... How long have you been dating?... If it is for a long time then start to do things that you did when you first started dating. You know where you would do things to make her fall madly in love with you?... It sounds like you two are "starting over"... If you truly love her and she loves you back... Take the initiative and show her how much you do love her. If she says she doesn't want sex... just be patient... relationships aren't all about sex... Just pretend it's like when you first started dating... Hope this helps!

Hey Heart. I was in your boat about 2 weeks ago and I started a post just like yours. Tell me if this sounds familiar: You 2 start making out and rubbing your hands all over each other. You have a hard on and at that time. Then the clothes start to come off and you start to go down on her and uh oh... where did the erection go? So you continue to go down on her in hopes of getting hard so you can engage in sexual activity. But it just doesn't happen? Trust me on this one... it is all in your head. I know it is tough to stop thinking about the times that you were unable to perform. Just tell yourself that you don't care anymore. Tell yourself that you are tired of thinking about it and you want to think about something else. This is what I did and it has been working great for me. Also... how is your communication with her? Do you 2 talk about this problem together? I know it sounds hard (no pun intended) but it may be something to consider talking about. Have fun with your girl!... Stop thinking about..."Oh * * * *, please stay hard" and just relax and think about the great sex you had before. Ask her to touch you in a way that you like to be touched. And one more thing... you can look into some herbal supplements like Horny Goat Weed or Yohimbe Bark. No side effects, they just help increase the blood flow to your penis to allow erections. You may also want to consider eating some fruit and try some exercise. Have fun and stay relaxed Bro.

Thanks all for the advice. ARabbitGod: Thanks for the tip. The other night I was with her and I never let the thought of not being able to perform pop into my head and all we did was fool around and. I'll do some research on the "Bark"... For a conversation piece like you said. It might be fun for awhile. For anyone else reading this I really do suggest communication. My girl used to "pull" on me hard and it would slightly hurt... All I had to do was work up the courage to tell her how I like to be touched. Then things seemed to be fine from there. Day_Walker: Thanks!... I'll have fun with it... like I said earlier, we had fun the other night and it was awesome!...

Alright... I feel that I have been under some stress as of late and I am too stubborn to admit it. That, and I work a security job and I haven't been getting much exercise as of late. Don't get me wrong, I am in great shape, but there has been a lack of exercise. I guess I'll wait it out... try my best not to think about it and just be with her. I'll start to run because I have always wanted to. Thank you for your advice and if anyone else has anything else to add that would be great. Thank you ARabbitGod.

Hello people! I'll just get right to the point… I am in a serious relationship with a girl that I have worked with for the last 5 months. We have been in a relationship for nearly 2 months and things have been moving fast, but it is a good "fast". I really do love her and she loves me. We have both been in a few past relationships to know weather or not we are in love or not. However that isn't the problem. I am 21 years old and as of lately I have been having some issues with our sex life. In the past with other women that I have been with I have never experienced this problem. I am extremely attracted to her and when we start to get intimate I can maintain an erection but when it comes to having sex I lose it. I have read a few articles on-line regarding this issue and a few of them stated that it is performance anxiety… During foreplay I am erect and I have no problem but once we decide to engage in sexual activity I just lose my erection. It has happed 3 times now and we have only been able to have sex once. I am physically attracted to this girl and I enjoy everything about her but I do not understand why this is happening. After reading a few articles and doing some on-line research I found that people say to relax and it is all in your head. I have tried to relax but that thought of losing my erection always comes to mind. It is becoming extremely frustrating and I am hoping it is temporary. I also decided to look into some herbal vitamins to maybe increase the blood flow to my penis. I found that Horny Goat Weed is supposed to help out. So I went to the local GNC and picked up a bottle of 60 capsules to see if it would help. That was 3 days ago and it says that it takes 4 to 5 days to become active in your system. So I am waiting to see if I see any improvements. Now my question is… Is all of this just in my head? Should I be taking the Horny Goat Weed? Is there any advice that you can give me to help me out when the mood strikes? Am I at risk of E.D at the age of 21? Is this just a phase? Any help would be greatly appreciated and if you have any questions that need to be answered in order to assist your advice to me, just ask. Thank you all in advance. So_lost