michellelouisebarker

Hi, I am a little confused and my confusion is sending mixed messages to my boyfriend of just over 2 years which is not good. It is a kind of intense relationship, we have close times and sometimes I feel as if we are married because we argue so much. Everything was good before we lived together for a while. Before that he had a job but since he has been such a bum. He needs to borrow money off me although he has alrady borrowed off his father. He took so long to get a job and he only got a part time one now, really dodgy. I got a great job and I am moving ahead. I am not living with him now, but we are seeing each other. We both got teaching jobs (me straight away and he took ages) so we have separate places. He is having a hard time with work. The money still causes him so many hassles. It is sad to see a person I had faith in be so lazy, but he also does not have much confidence. That is the main thing. He is a little overweight and socially incompetent and shy but misunderstood. But he is the nicest, most amazing person I've met. He is kind to me and honours me. My help does him no favours. But I can not continue my sympathy forever and I have been waiting so long for him to get back on his feet. I saw his slobby side when we were living together and now I do not think I could live with him again. He will just start living off me. I did not expect wither of us to support each other. I do love him and I couldn't break up with him. He comes from Canada and I am from Australia, last time he came to Australia and I think this time he will eventually expect me to come to Canada. Maybe not for a while but even so.. What should I do? If I am true to my heart I will stay with him, but I know or can sense that my family and friends and stuff think I can do better. I know I can too but as long as I'm happy with him, no problem. But this financial situation is making me unhappy. I know he's capable of more. I have talked to him about it and his standard reply is 'I'll get a better job"... then down the track the excuses come. I don't need his money, and now that he has part time, he doesn't borrow much off me but complains about it constantly. The real issue for me is that now that his money is short, the romance is dying. Is this my job now, because I have some cash? But he doesn't want me to pay he would rather not do things. He could happily stay at home while I go out of my mind. He doesn't save, and I can't force him to. What should I do?

Hello, I think you should just try and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't want to talk much maybe it's because she's shy or scared of what other people might think. Just go with the flow. Good luck.