LookingInTO

Hey everyone, Just wanted to say thanks again for all of your advice. Unfortunately, I spoke some more with the girl in trying to arrange our coffee date and it seems that Belle and Ducky's perceptions of things were definitely correct. It's sad that this is the result but looking back, I can definitely see how I may have over-interpreted some of her actions. I guess that is one of the great things about this forum - being able to get objective opinions when it's hard to see things objectively yourself. Hopefully things will work out next time and thanks again!

Thanks for all of your advice. Your viewpoints definitely cover the range of possibilities! In any case, I will likely go ahead with meeting up for coffee again and try to turn it into a more regular occurrence. I figure, meeting more often outside the standard "school setting" definitely can't hurt. If we're destined to stay friends, then I'm fine with that. However, when we meet up I guess I will just try to talk with her, chase a little bit and play things by ear and try to get a better read on things. For what it's worth, after each previous rejection I did tell myself that I would just move on and find someone else who is more receptive but there's something about this particular girl that keeps drawing me back so I guess I might as well see how things go.

Hey all, Just wanted to let you guys know that while this is the first time that I have posted on this forum, I have read it for quite a while and have learned a lot. However, I have now found myself in a situation that I was hoping you guys could help out with. Briefly, there's a girl in my school that I've been attracted too. She's smart, funny, beautiful, etc. We've talked / flirted quite a bit and we seemed to have a great connection (at least from my POV). As a result, over the past couple of months, I've casually asked her to coffee / lunch twice and both times, have been politely turned down. On both occasions, the invitation was open enough that lack of interest on her part was basically the only reason why we didn't meet up. She was really great about it though and because of this, we've still been able to talk without any awkwardness. In fact, before exams, we saw each other practically every day and always managed to talk quite a bit. To cut to the chase, I decided to send her a quick e-mail wishing her a merry x'mas and she responded in an e-mail and suggested that we meet up for coffee in the new year some time. I'm probably being hopelessly optimistic but I am hoping that maybe coffee can turn into something more. However, she's a great person and since I value her friendship, I wouldn't want to risk driving her away by asking her out a third time and being turned down again! Any advice on what to do when (if?) we meet up for coffee? If it helps any, all of the relationships that I have been in, in the past, have been long term and I've never really hard to flirt / chase after my ex's before the relationship began so I'm not exactly sure how it's done. I'm also in grad school if that matters. Thanks

Any specific jokes / techniques that anyone would like to share? I am very interested in the response to this question as well!