mary jane

me and my boyfriend of a year fell in love at first sight. we had the best love that most people do not experience in a lifetime. i lied to him about something stupid that didn't matter a few months ago, and now we break up about once a week b/c he thinks i am lieing about something. our fights get crazy. he is 200lbs. i am 115 lbs he will throw me accross my bed by my arm. i know he loves me. but he always instills in my mind that he does the things that he does (throw me around, call me stupid, selfish, *beep*, *beep*) because i have done something wrong. and i'm not saying i'm an angel, but i am not as "mean" or "disrespectful" as he makes me think. he has left me about 5 times and each time will come back and we talk and get things straightened out. i keep telling myself next time he does this, its over. i can't do it. i can't let him go. i don't know why? do i love too much? please help me...somebody!!!!