Smarie

I bet you care more about their happiness than they do about their won, and your the one they allways call. Right?

I couldnt have said it better myself!!! Have you ever seen that movie Sleeping With The Enemy? That was a good movie. About a guy that marrys a girl and everything is Obsessive Compulsive clean. She fakes her death and runs away and he hunts her down and ****s her up!!!!! And her new boyfriend!!! Excuse my french but that was a mean movie. Sorta stalker like if you get my drift....lol

she is trying to get me to go over to the us, help does anyone have a bunker and a shotgun. i need to hide.

Even if I did have either one of those 2 things, you would have to come to the U.S. to pick them up from me anyways. She might have a gps signal on you so you might not want to do that!!! roflmao!!!!

tell me about, say have you got any kind off experience in this, you seem to know your stuff.

Not really.... In my group of friends, I was always the one that was the counselor for everyone. Kinda have a knack for understanding peoples way of expressing things and how they want to fix it. Try to put myself in their shoes and see how I would deal with the situation. I do the best I can but I didnt go to school for it or anything, so its not a professional opinion, just someones advice who would appreciate the professional paycheck...lol Hope how I see things would help someone out there. Thanks alot, I really appreciate it!!!!

Thank you very much!! My boyfriend being a little older than me, I tend to act alot more grown up than my age. But the situations that I have to deal with I do not know how to deal with in a more mature way then I already know, which I am sorry to say I find immature. Im learning though, every morning a new day for me to figure out what I have done wrong. Every night gives me a chance to fix it.

It is quite possible to find a relationship like that. The majority of women like a man who is going to devote themselves solely to them, and most women do the same. But when someone talks about marraige and love before they might even tell you their name (lol) then that gets a little creepy.

Ignore her. That will hurt her the most. She is upset and jealous because she moved on and probably didnt want you to move on. thereforeeee, it was ok for her, but not for you. She was most likely under the impression that since she was the one to *blow you off* that it would have taken longer for you to get over her and she probably expects you to still be pining for her. Since you have not done this and showed some interest in other girls, she is now playing the all time top 10 most childish game by trying to ruin your standards, or rep, by saying a bunch of random things about you, that arent necessarily going to be true. This is a part of life and I think everyone has gone through it. Trust me, the more you ignore her the more you *win*. She is doing this just to try to make you upset. That is her goal, so if you act like these things dont bother you, then her plan backfires in her face.

As far as maybe becoming friends with her again if you wanted, do everything I just told you to do, but dont make it in a mean way. If she says something to you, reply to her, but dont fall in to the sarcasm. Make everything that you say a compliment or something along the lines of. Just dont let her know that these things that she has said about you have bothered you.

Thats the best suggestion I could give you, Im only 21 so I know exactly how you feel. Thats quite an odd situation though that she would attach to you that quickly. If she doesnt back off somewhat and realize she is jumping the gun, then I would run for the hills. Even if she really does love you and all, if the 2 of you are ever together, you will be stuck in a very contolling relationship. Good Luck to you!!!!!!

Sniffing sharpies and white-out? Are you serious? Ummm, I would suggest seeing a doctor as I really have no idea how to cure a *sharpie-hangover*. Also, look into a rehab course for you and your friends for huffing. Thats really dangerous and you should really have someone help you with that. Maybe talk to the school guidance counselor.

Well, if that were me, I would run farther than the hills!!!! lol I know some people find love over the internet, but I do find it hard to believe that over the course of a whopping 3 emails she has declared her undying *love* to you. Let me also mention that I am a person that believes in *love at first sight*, but I do not think that people who do fall in love at the first time seeing a random person really know that they are *in love*. All in due time......

Maybe try explaining to her that you have barely gotten to know each other at all and already she is talking about marraige etc etc.... Maybe take a little more time to get to know one another first before you start talking about love. Also, try to get to meet her, too. Some people react differently around people and she might be extremely shy around you, but a totally different person on the phone or in emails. She might be exactly the same....who knows. But I do think she is a little impatient already telling you that she loves you and all.

Breaking up is always hard, we all know that. Over time you will stop watching the phone even less. Its not really un-common to not have feelings still for your ex when you break up. After sharing that bond, no matter for a short or long period of time, you come to think that you dont want to start over. Nobody knows you like that one person you have grown so comfortable with and share so much with.

As time passes you will not spend anytime together, as you said you have not been in contact, and you will learn that your ex has not been around for so long that they dont really know you anymore. Not as much at least. You will randomly think of things that remind you of things you did or things you said while you were together. Just remember the relationship as a good one so you dont look back on it and think poorly of your ex. It will take some time, but it will happen.

It took me close to 5 years to get over an ex of mine and every one told me the same thing and I thought they were crazy.....I was in love forever. And one day I realized that I am waiting to spend my life with someone who doesnt want to be with me anymore and I am so miserable about it. So instead of waiting for him to come back I should be my own person and have fun. Didnt have to have a boyfriend right away, but stop limiting myself of things I do because of my constant thought of him. Eventually, I found another boyfriend and everything worked out. But that was a long 5 years and I know how you feel.

Eventually it will happen. Unfortunately, there is nothing that I can say or do to make you get over your ex, it is a self healing process. So its up to you how long you will *watch the clock* ,so to say, because everyone is different.

Maybe you might get back together too. Some people just need time apart from their significant other to realize how much they really do love them and miss them so terribly in that stage. Maybe she just needs sometime. Try randomly contacting her without calling or making it seem like you desperate. If you know some place that she hangs out or something, show up there with some of your friends. Make sure that you make eye contact, even have a short conversation, but dont make it seem like you have been dwelling over her for months. That might *scare her away*. If she randomly sees you and sees that you are doing good, she might come back to you. Make sure in your converstion you try to slip in how you have been and in a non-chalant way, give her a way to contact you. i.e. I bowl every thursday night, or still living in the same house but I just remodeled.......or something like that. But not coming out and saying here is my number call me. Unless she asks for it then your good.

Make sure you really think about that though and know that you can handle the rejection again if you make the effort to do that and she wont even look at you. That might make this process of getting over her even worse on you. So make sure that you are prepared for both angles.

There is someone out there for you, as every one has a soul mate. But until you find that one special person, dont beat yourself up about it and have fun while you can! I wish the best of luck to you and hope I could brighten your day alittle bit!!

I thank you both for replying to me as I really had no place else to turn. I will try to look more into a step-parent program somewhere. Even a forum for that matter. I really have more of a problem dealing with the ex though. She drives me crazy and I really cant figure out why. I am just not one to get along with most females, no offense to anyone out there, so I think thats a big part of it. I just look at every thing so far fetched from a *What if* stand point. I cant figure it out. Drives me crazy that I feel this way and I know I have to stop it but I cant. I thought about going to couples counseling or something but that is so expensive. And I think it might be more of a problem in the long run because then I will end up with....you told her this.....and....you told him that....whichever the scenario may be. Hopefully I can get over this somehow. I think its just the age gap, because I am only 21, my boyfriend 28 and his ex is about 30-31.... so I havent reached that level yet I guess. Still a little of my immaturity coming out Well, thanks again!!!

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now and we love each other very much. We have no problems at all, except for when his ex-girlfriend comes around. He and his ex have a 3 and a half year old son and they are still *friends* because of it. I totally trust him and dont think that he would cheat on me but there are so many things that feel like the 2 of them are doing to just try to make me mad.

When we first got together, I knew that he did have a child and thought that I would be able to deal with it ok. I have never been in a relationship before with anyone that has any children and I have no children myself so this was going to be something new for me. Despite my lack of knowledge in the situation, I stuck it out.

We dated for a couple months before I met his son, then a couple more after that before I met his ex. When we first got together I was not a big fan of kids, but after being with his son he was the most adorable thing. He was right around 2 then. As time went on, he would receive phone calls from her all the time, which he would go in the bathroom to finish his phone call, and she was constantly around trying to *pry* in our business it seemed. After that I realized he takes pretty much all of his phone calls in the bathroom no matter who it is, and her love for trying to get into our relationship still burned from inside her.

And her background....she met a guy when she was still with my boyfriend and is now married to him and they have a son also. She offered a couple times for us to join her for dinner, with her now husband, and the 4 of us could go out sometime. When I was at work she even called my boyfriend *baby* on accident and made sure to tell him not to tell me. Why does she think that I would want to go out with my boyfriends ex? And whenever she comes over to pick up/drop off their son, she is always here for long periods of time *catching up* on what happens in my boyfriends family and asks my boyfriend to look stuff up for her on the computer and what not.

Last week, my boyfriend had to stop over to her house to drop something off and he said he was only gonna run in and run out, so I came with him. After he left me sitting in the car for a half an hour, he finally came out and got in the car and expected me to not be mad. Was this his fault or her fault? She is a talker...did she just keep talking to him because she knew I was in the car? Or did he dilly-dally to hang out with his ex for a minute? I dont want to believe that, because as I said, I trust him 100% What is compelling her to do this? Does she really want to know or is she just doing it to make me mad? I dont get it.

Their son is now almost 4 and I have no say it what he does. Which I can understand because I am not his parent. But its ok that I feed him and take him to the bathroom and watch him when my boyfriend wants to go out somewhere. But anything pertaining to what he does I cant say anything about because I *am not his mother*. i.e. he is almost 4 as I said earlier and still drinks a bottle. He plays video games that a have the over 18 warning on them because you shoot people and what not. I have a problem with this but my boyfriend insists on telling me that I dont have anything to say because I am not his mother and I have no children to base my feelings on. And when I get upset because his son back talks to me, I am supposed to let it go in one ear and out the other. But when I say something to my boyfriend about it, I am elaborating to make my story seem better...or whatever.

Besides the deal that I have with his son/ex, we have a pretty healthy relationship. We have money problems now and then, sometime a little more often then not, but we make it through ok. It just really bugs me that he is still friends with his ex-girlfriend to this extent. He keeps telling me that they are only friends for their son and made that agreement when they split up. But it seems to be more than that to me sometimes. And trying to talk to him about it is out of the question because we always end up in a huge fight and he screams that I always want to fight about the same thing and this is the way it is going to be.

Maybe I am wrong for feeling this way. I mean, I am happy that they still get along because they do have a child. My parents separated when I was very little and never got along so I know what that side of the road is like too. So its not that I want them to fight all the time, just that I want her to back off and stop trying to always make me mad about something. And for him to realize how much this hurts me. He is supposed to love me and be in a relationship with me, and instead of worrying about my feelings getting hurt, he is always at her beckoned call.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? I do not know where to go from here? Please somebody help me...tell me I am still sane at least. Thanks!!!!