PartlySunny

Well, I guess it really depends on the circumstances of the break up. I don't know what your situation is, but in my case, I broke up with my boyfriend. And frankly, I refuse to be the one to break the no contact. Why? Because he is the one who deeply hurt and caused damaged to me and our relationship. As far as I'm concerned, the responsibility is on him to come to me and make reparations. I know he loves me, I know he wants us to continue, I know I am the one who told him to leave. BUT.. he lied to me, and he cheated on me. He is in no position to be pissed off at me for breaking things off, for getting angry at me because I yelled at him to get out of my house. Again, this is only my situation, I have no idea what yours is. But, as I see it, the person who screwed up the relationship should be the one to eat humble pie and stick their neck out to break the no contact, and do what it takes to fix things.

In my situation, he has told me that before.. after we got into a fight. Of course, since I respect his boundaries, I didn't contact him. 2 days later, he called me, asking me why I wasn't returning his emails. I told him i was just respecting his wishes. So he tells me, with a smiley face, "you are so stubborn!" Game playing. Or he said it out of anger.

My (ex)BF and I have not talked in 13 days. We have been together since December 2003, but things have been very difficult since July, and since then we've only seen each other about 1x a week. About 2 weeks ago, we had a bad falling out, after which I wrote him to tell him this wasn't going to work anymore, and he emailed me to tell me not to email him anymore. However, we have had some bad incidents like this before. It has never gone on this long where we have had no contact whatsoever. My question is, his birthday is coming up in 10 days, and if we still don't have contact by then, I'm not sure how to handle it. I would feel bad about ignoring it altogether, but I don't know how I feel about doing something about it if I haven't talked to him. I'm afraid he would be really hurt if I didn't acknowledge it. I was thinking about getting him flowers and leaving them at his door anonymously. But then what if he messages me to ask if I did it? I don't really want to answer and tell him it was me. I don't want to lie and deny it either.

I know I'm going against the majority here, but I am saying this because I am in pretty much the same situation. My (ex)b/f and I have had no contact in 12 days. We have had serious problems for the last few months and have had decreased contact since July. However, we are tremendously in love, and I speak in faith for both sides. We had planned to eventually get married. Due to our very difficult problems of late, with increased anger and hurt, we have been talking less, afraid of being vulnerable. Taking things more personally. The pain & hurt kept building on both sides. Now, after a big fight (after which I wrote to him breaking it off, and he emailed me telling me to not email him again), we have not spoken or called each other. It is agonizing to me. In some ways, I know this is probably for the best. But I wish I knew that he was willing to work things out, if I even knew that he CARED enough about wanting to be with me to try to contact me. It feels as if it's some sick showdown. Neither of us wants to lose pride, risk being rejected and hurt even more. And the price to pay for all this? The loss of the person we both loved more than any other before. Was it worth it? I'm not sure.