Dreams

Thanks for all the input you guys. I am inclined to agree with all of you. "never' and 'always' are such misleading terms. How do you ever know anything for sure or anyone?? I'm still so confused. We went to see a counsellor and even that hasn't made my decisions easier or my thoughts/feelings clearer. All I do know is that I love him so much and want things to work out. I want to be able to work things through, to at least try. If I can't get over it, at least I'll know I tried. Breaking up in doubt is the worst. Plus which it's near impossible to end a 5 year relationship that was heading towards marriage if I'm not 100% sure that I want to end it. Ohh!! people are so bad to each other! Why do we do this to ourselves?

Thanks all of you. I was feeling very low and now feel a bit more confident and better about things. I am sure that in 10 minutes I'll go back to feeling furious, but I certainly appreciate the positivity. Thanks for being there too.

thanks for your advice. The thing is that I consider it cheating whether they actually had sex or not. The point is he was with another girl in his hotel room. It's cheating. I cheated on somebody once but I didn't do it again, so I'm inclined to disbelieve 'once a cheater'... then again maybe that's just because I'm too scared to think of my perfect boy as a cheater. And he really was my perfect boy, the man I wanted to marry. We're going for counselling tomorrow, that's the only thing that's keeping me sane. He says he'll do anything to make up for the huge mistake that he made - that's what he considers it - a huge mistake, but no reflection on me. I don't know what to make of that either. How can I not take it personally? I feel so rejected and humiliated, and feel so vulnerable. I am a strong practical person but this has made me compromise all the principles I have held until now - that I would never ever put up with infidelity. I hate him and I love him and I am so confused. Thanks for listening as I have nobody else to talk to - I am too ashamed to tell anyone about my 'fiance'....

Hi. I really need advice on how to deal with infidelity. I found out my fiance cheated on me last week whilst on a business trip. I found a girl's t-shirt in his suitcase and eventually confronted him - after initial denials and lies, he admitted he'd 'kissed' somebody else. It turned out that in fact he'd gone back to his hotel room with her where they fooled around and fell asleep. I don't know whether or not to believe this, my head tells me not to, though somehow I do anyway. I am completely devasted though and don't know how to deal with this nightmare and what to do now. I love him so much and feel so betrayed. All our plans are now shattered and I have no idea how to proceed. If I were outside of this situation I would advise to leave him straight away, but since it's happening to me, I am finding it so so difficult to make that decision. In fact I want to stay with him but I just don't know how to get over this. He has said all the right things, says he is devasted with what he has done and doesn't know why he did it. Can relationships survive after this? Will he do it again? Help. I'm so sad.