primtetime95

@boltnrun It definitely is very difficult to maintain a virtual relationship. We are actively working on moving in together, but it's been tough with certain financial/personal issues that haven't allowed us to be together just yet. The first two years of the relationship I feel like we did a great job at romance/phone sex etc. But the last year or so, that has really dwindled almost to a complete halt. Even the last time I visited her in person, we did not really have much romantic or sexual interaction. Every other part of our relationship is strong, though. But now with this Jared situation coming back up, it's making me feel very insecure, especially with how little sexual interaction we have anymore, and me feeling like maybe she isn't physically attracted to me anymore.

It's not really them knowing each other for longer that makes me nervous. Honestly, I'm not sure I even really thought about that until now lol. It's really just the situations that we've been in because of him (her using him to make me jealous/her having feelings for him in the past/her liking the shirtless picture). I'm just not sure how to bring this up to her or what I should say.

@boltnrun My apologies for the confusion. Yes, we did meet online. Her and her friend Jared met in person years ago as they went to the same school. They now no longer live near one another and havent since before she and I started dating. My concerns arent really based around them having become friends in person, moreso the situation im in currently.

We have been long distance our entire relationship. We recently have been talking about moving in together finally, as she's looking for work in the state where I reside. Her friend Jared is also long distance as he lives on the other side of the country. We typically try to see each other every couple of months, but it has been harder recently due to finances. We don't live close enough to drive, so we have to fly, but I am headed to see her within the next couple of weeks.

I'm in a LDR and I totally understand what you're going through. Logistically and financially, a hybrid living system would be difficult for any couple, let alone someone in your situation of just starting a new company. If she really is ready to marry you, than she must understand that marriage is a commitment to your partner. Sometimes that means having to move/leave family. The only compromise I could think of is that if she moves to be with you, it sounds like you live close enough to wear she could go visit fairly often? I would think that her visiting her family would still be cheaper than a hybrid situation. Regardless, I do hope you all figure it out. Best of luck.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for three years now, and we've encountered a couple of situations with one of her male friends whom she was close with in the past. I need to provide some background information first so that you can fully understand what is going on. She and I became good friends a few years before we pursued a romantic relationship. During the early stages of our friendship, she revealed to me that a long time ago, she had a crush on one of her close friends (I will refer to him as Jared in this post). It didn't bother me at the time, obviously because we were just friends. A couple of years later, right before she and I began our relationship, she started using Jared as a way to make me jealous. We had yet to admit our feelings for each other, and it became obvious that she was using Jared as a way to get my attention. For example, she would post about him all the time or bring him up in conversation more than she had in the past. After we began dating, I confronted her about it and let her know that I was unhappy with the way she used him to make me jealous. She apologized and agreed that it was unfair and immature, promising that nothing like that would ever happen again. (I also want to add that this was over three years ago, and we were obviously quite a bit younger than - I feel like she is definitely more emotionally mature now). As our relationship progressed, I decided to be cordial with Jared. All three of us had a group chat at one point where we would talk here and there, and we even added each other on social media. However, Jared became cold and distant towards my girlfriend, and I started to get the vibe that he was jealous and had feelings for her. When I brought this up to my girlfriend, she just played it off and gave another excuse for his behavior. However, everything came to a head when they got into an argument about it. I eventually got involved and asked Jared if he had feelings for my girlfriend. He got mad and deleted us both on social media. We haven't heard from him in close to two years. A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend let me know that Jared had added her back on Facebook and wanted to talk to her. She asked me how I felt about it, and I told her I was uncomfortable, but that I wasn't going to stop her from speaking to him if that's what she wanted to do. Eventually, they talked, and she said they hashed everything out. She told me that he apologized about how he treated her and said that it had nothing to do with our relationship. She also told me that she gave him boundaries and let him know that he cannot disrespect me or our relationship again. This made me feel a bit better because I felt reassured that there would be strict boundaries between them, and I also let my girlfriend know that I wasn't interested in trying to be cordial with him again. This weekend, his Facebook page pops up, so I decide to go look at it. The first thing I see are a couple of selfies he posted, and my girlfriend had liked the post. One of the pictures was of him shirtless, and I immediately got upset and felt disrespected. I feel as if this is crossing a boundary, as I'm sure she would not appreciate me liking a picture of a half-naked friend if the roles were reversed in this scenario. She also knows that I've been feeling insecure lately because I've gained some weight, and her and I also don't have sex as much as we used to. I'm thinking that my insecurities are also adding to how I am feeling after seeing his Facebook page. I want to talk to her, but I don't know how to bring this up. I also don't want her to think that I am accusing her of something, but I do have trauma from my past relationships and I worry that she isn't being completely honest with me. Obviously, knowing that she once had feelings for him, as well as her using him to make me jealous in the past, adds to how I feel about the entire situation. Am I overreacting? How should I approach this conversation? I don't want to overstep and seem like I am controlling what she can do or who she can be friends with, but I am not sure how I should get over this whole situation. Any advice would be appreciated. TIA!