I like the girl who has a boyfriend. At the end of September 2023, along with two other girls, we started renting an apartment together. We're all students.
As for me, I'm in my final year of studies and work full-time in IT. I've developed strong feelings for one of my roommates, even though we've only known each other for a month, we already know quite a bit about each other, and we talk a lot.
We chat in the mornings before heading to classes or work, or for hours late at night over tea or while preparing dinner (we've even gone out to eat together). We always fill the kettle for two people, knowing that the extra water will be for her or for me (and it works; almost always, one of us leaves the room to make tea and start a conversation).
To be honest, I haven't talked to anyone this much in such a short time in many years. I haven't let anyone get to know me so well in a long time. We're both introverts, yet conversation comes easily to us. We've even found a "common language" - we both love cats. We send each other Instagram reels every day, and for the past three weeks, we've been going to the gym together 2-3 times a week. I recently introduced her to a different sport, which is my hobby, and despite her initial fear of it, she was eager to give it a try.
We often go grocery shopping together, and once, I even helped her pick out the color of tights in an Action store XD. Our conversations are not awkward or stiff; they are very relaxed, and we maintain prolonged eye contact. We often share jokes, and recently, I made her laugh so hard that we both cried from laughter.
It seems like she doesn't mind my company because, despite my apologies (which may have been unnecessary) for talking so much, resulting in 5-10 hours of chatting in the kitchen until late at night, she herself said that I didn't need to apologize because if she didn't want to talk, she could have ended the conversation and gone to her room.
She even asked me not to laugh and showed me some of her old photos to show how her hair used to look, which was somewhat random, but I also complimented her hair, and vice versa, I showed her some of my childhood pictures. It seems that we may have broken some kind of personal space barrier during our conversations because sometimes, when she wanted to show me something on her phone, she didn't mind getting close to me or pulling her chair right next to mine.
Recently, she mentioned that she liked how I optimized the space in my room and asked for help in rearranging her entire room. During one of our conversations, I managed to slip in a question about why she no longer lives with her boyfriend. She mentioned that they had a big argument, and their relationship was on the verge of breaking up, so she decided not to live with him for now. I was cautious and quickly returned to our previous topic, which seemed to go quite smoothly.
To be honest, it gave me hope when I heard that their relationship had recently been hanging by a thread. I've noticed a few times that her boyfriend texts her when we're talking, but she puts the messages aside and doesn't reply for many hours during our conversations.
In the past month, he has only visited our apartment twice for a few hours and once for a night (first day of renting). The first time, it seemed like she might not have wanted him to come because it was right after our late-night tea talk when she went to study, and her boyfriend suddenly arrived. She didn't seem excited to see him, but rather tired and somewhat reluctant in her tone when she said, 'Why did you come? I told you I'm studying.'
The second time, they baked an apple pie, spent time in her room, and then her boyfriend left (the apple pie was tasty). Maybe I'm just being naive, or maybe I'm right in thinking that I might have a chance with her, even though she's still officially in a relationship. I don't know what to do.
I'm starting to weigh the pros and cons of telling her how I feel. I don't want to ruin the atmosphere in the apartment, but at the same time, I'm trying to subtly let her know that I don't see her as a stranger in the room next door. Would confessing my feelings scare her away? I'm 22 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I've never really flirted with any girl, I'm terrible at reading 'signals,' and perhaps I'm imagining things that are just normal among women, and I come across as an idiot.
