Sindy_0311

I agree. He knows you are busy. He texted you just to test the waters. In case you would still be ok for another backup plan in the future. Try to arrange another date for this week with another man. It will be easier for you to forget about this one…

So you do like him… you wouldn’t be trying to understand his behavior if not. I think he does not like you enough for a serious relationship. It’s been 8month now, and he never asked for anything exclusive. He just took advantage of you. And a way to keep you hooked is to make you believe there could be something more. Hence the late night drunk I love you call. It’s just a game. He is playing you. Just my opinion. I hope you will get him out of your life soon and meet better guys. I had a casual relationship last year for 3 month with a 25 years old guy (I’m 40) he displayed the exact same behavior… often didn’t reply to my text, call me late night, telling me words… but never committed. He was a player too….

Exactly!

I just wanted to feel comfortable. He was distant, not talking much, walking in the crowd barely looking whether I still was behind. He talked with random people he knew, not introducing me…and later he would kiss me in front of them. I mean it was a 3rd date. You are supposed to show your best self… so that was not enough for me…

yea… well. I’m complicated also. But that piece of music was just grace at that moment… it’s 3am here in Switzerland… I’m going to sleep… thank you so much for you support. It’s so appreciated 🙏

I wanted to stay because I just liked the music so much… would he have left me alone, even better….

I am extra sensitive… just how @Batya33described in her post. I want someone who takes it in consideration. I told him I was. He said we can go but let me warn you, on Saturday there is going to be lot of people… and the only thing he said was « you seem lost » without even trying to take me anywhere else… when I saw this other concert, less people, peaceful music I felt better… but he was already rushing to the exit…

What does that mean?

When I said I wanted to leave, he was trying to make us leave the festival, and we passed through another spot, there was a concert, some good electro/indie music. I stopped for a while listening to that beautiful, peaceful music. Would he have disappeared… I would just stayed there. It was so beautiful and reminded me of what I deeply like. these 2 minutes of good sound just saved my evening…

Thanks for correcting

Exactly, I’m an introvert too… have been married for 10 years to an extrovert… was not easy… but I might have to choose better for the next dates. btw, i somehow understood you are back to dating also? I’m curious about how you will manage this… haha

Agoraphobia, not the same…

It was not a fist date…. It was 3rd:..

I had to wait for 10 minutes for him to arrive at the station. I saw all these people arriving to the festival, and my anxiety just went worse. We went to a spot and there was so much people, I was sweating and couldn’t even breath… definitely was a poor plan… I learnt something again…

Thank you so much, you are so wise!! It wasn’t a panic attack, but I did feel bad, and just wanted to go home. I think I’m not willing to go to festivals anymore. I’m 40 and I just want a quiet relationship… he might not be at the same point, and its fine.

He replied, good, have a good night.

I guess it was just not a good plan to go there… but he likes to party. Me also but tonight there was way to much of people, and he didn’t make me feel good. He was like nonchalant, no holding hand to cross the crowd… idk I texted him I arrived home.

Because I already went to that festival a few years ago, and it was great. But tonight, Saturday night it was to much… I was anxious

I told him on Monday that I struggles when there is much of people etc… but I like to party. But tonight, I don’t know, i didn’t feel good and I think it’s also because he was a bit distant in the beginning…

Yea In fact I told him I have acrophobia.

I came home, one hour a half after leaving him. I’m pissed off. I won’t text him. He asked me out to the date, he showed NOTHING. I don’t own him anything I already gave him enough time. That’s it.

Ok. Now at least I know it wasn’t it. But still a waist of time as I had another optional date for tonight.

Nothing really happened, but when we met conversation was not easy, and he was more absorbed by what was happening around than by me. then we began to dance a bit, getting closer, we had a drink and at one moment, i was looking around, much of people I started to feel uneasy and he said “you seem lost”. But didn’t try to make me feel more comfortable, even though I told him I struggled with crowds. That when I told him I don’t feel it, I’m going to leave. He thought we would leave together, he walked me out of the festival, and I told him that I didn’t feel it, and I want to go home. He was surprised but said text me please when you get home. Don’t know if I have to do this…

Well here I am at the station, waiting 30 minutes for my train to arrive. I left, because there was nothing, no real effort from his part and I felt uneasy. I told him I don’t feel it and I just went… such a waist of time… @Batya33you were right. I just had to listen to my intuition…

Yes in fact there are many similarities. And her thread somehow helped me not invest so much in texting with the last guy. I’m in the train, going to the festival. He finally said he would take the train too… so maybe he didn’t have so bad intentions… will see. Thank you for commenting here. Your inputs always resonate with me.