alecomarch

I think we've sorted it! Sorry emilie85, but I disagree. I'm definitely not having fantasies about other girls. If I was I wouldn't be trying to save our relationship! We sat down and talked for hours, and I tried really hard to not be defensive. Instead of arguing, we talked, and I could feel the stress just lifting off us. Previously when we have talked about the issue I have got defensive and told her that she's being silly etc. and there's nothing to worry about. I found it very hard to open up and not get angry and defensive, but we talked about her insecurities and how I made her feel, and I tried to see it from her point of view. We made a pact to be stronger and be there for each other, and not let other people make us feel insecure. At the risk of sounding very cheesy, now I feel closer to her than ever before! I hope it's not just temporary, and I'm sure its going to take time to build trust etc, but we're very happy now! Thank you for all the advice - it helped!

last night was difficult. I had a big family party with lots of my sisters friends there who she is very wary of. I did my absolute best to watch the way I acted around them so that she couldn't possibly have anything to worry about. But she still went crazy about the way I acted around them. Apparently I said 'bye' to them in a flirty way. Seriously, I feel like I can't win! I'm struglling. I feel like I need reassurance from her, and appologies from her about the way she keeps going mental. I know I'm not going to get that though, and I really don't mind because I'm going to stick by her, but I just wish she could see the hurt she's causing me by putting me through endless threats of break ups etc. She's gone to work now. I just hope that she's calmed down a bit by the time she gets back.

Wow! Thanks for all of the quick replies! There's no way I'm going to break up with her, I'm going to give it my best! Tonights going to be a big test - I've got a big family party with loads of my sisters friends there who my girlfriend is very wary of. It's difficult to stop her worrying when I can't avoid the people she's worrying about. I know that I shouldn't have to avoid them, but while we're trying to get through the problem, it doesn't help. Bad timing I guess. I really hope we pull through this. I accept it will take time. I really think when we move out it will help - We are both moving to London together and she is going to start uni. I hope this helps her self esteem. She's tried counselling before, and although I think it might have helped then, I think she feels that she has gained all she can from that.

my girlfriends an A cup, and I absolutely love her breasts! I certainly wouldn't want them to be any different! And there's no way I'd want to look at any other girls breats! She still feels a bit self conscious about them, but I wish she didn't because i think they're fantastic!

Hi, My girlfriend feels unattractive, and finds it hard to accept that she is attractive, resulting in her being very conscious of her apperance. To be completely honest; she is beautiful. I think that the problem has stemmed from when she was young, and her friends and parents never telling her that she was pretty/attractive etc. So when I tell her that she is beautiful, she doesn't really believe me. It has caused big problems in our relationship - mainly jelousy, and she is very sensitive to how I act towards other girls. I have never even slightly done anything she needs to worry about, and never would, but she finds it hard to trust me. She constantly annalyses other girls looks and worries that I might fancy them. Jelousy caused her last relationship to split, and I'm scared that it might do the same to us. I'm completely in love with her, and would be devestated if this were to happen. We have tried a hypnotherapy download for "feel attractive now", but she didn't really like that. I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for how I can help her build her self esteem? I'd really appreciate any tips!

Thanks for the advice! We had a good conversation last night, and it basically comes down to the fact that she has low self esteem and she needs lots of reassurance from me. I would like to takle this and help raise her self esteem. I allready tell her she'd beautiful and that I love her, and I like to surprise her with presents, etc. but does anyone have any advice on how I can help raise her self esteem?

Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for 14 months and I absolutely love her to bits! I have no doubt in my mind that I want to be with her forever. We are really really happy together except for when we argue about jealousy. She has always been very jealous - I've found out that her jealousy caused her last relationship to break up - she left him as a way of protecting herself from getting hurt after 2 years. I've always been able to cope with her jealousy, its not really been a problem. But a few months ago I bumped into an old friend while we were out who I hadn't seen for years. I chatted to her for a while and we were stood closely and I had my arm round her. Nothing funny was going on at all. I don't fancy this girl and never have. My girlfriend went crazy! I have tried my best to tell her that i wasn't flirting and that nothing was going on. It has been a recouring issue ever since then and she still doesn't trust me. I'm worried it's going to cause us to split like it did with her ex. Any ideas? She'd seen a counciller before about this issue with her ex and it didn't help. We are also trying hypnotherapy, but as yet it hasn't helped either.