Denise0203

I appreciate your comment. To answer, yes we do and yes we are.

When I was in high school, my brother had friends who were identical twins. They were over at the house quite a bit. I developed a crush on one of them, because I got to know him (I don't remember why that was). When I looked at him I found him very attractive. His brother was not at all attractive. But they were identical. So maybe find a friend first, without giving off the air that you are looking for a girlfriend. When a girl gets to know you, you sound like a fun good guy, she will find you attractive.

Wow I saw my post from about a year ago (seems longer ago!). I was so happy and full of joy, but that relationship ended. (Briefly, I am a widow, and a high school classmate (my crush no less) contacted me out of the blue and we dated) Then I got ghosted. Not after a date (which would make more sense), but right in the middle of some intimate, affectionate texts which he initiated. I later heard from mutual friends he does that, he has some anxiety disorder where he just stops communicating completely. I actually was not interested in a relationship after my husband’s death, and after being ghosted, moreso not interested. I have quite a full life in retirement. But quite by accident I met this man with whom I have so very much in common. We get along great. He was very physical at first, almost too much for me at that point and too teenage-ish. Kissing and groping. He said he hadn’t had sex in 15 months and that’s all he thinks about. We are in our 60s. A few times I just had to end it because I wasn’t sure if my body was physically ready for sex. But I started having strong feelings for him so one evening I just said, why don’t we just go to the bedroom and finish this. Which we did. He liked that phrasing (go to the bedroom and finish this) and uses it when he wants to have sex. He said he liked having these private, inside code messages like that, we have a few. So nothing has changed as far as our communication and seeing each other, but the last 2 times we were together he hasn’t kissed me or touched me. Greetings and goodbyes he kisses me and wraps me in his arms, but that’s it. So I guess it boils down to is he phasing me out so to speak, or he just isn’t as “horny” as he was after 15 months without it. I haven’t dated in 40 years so I don’t know what to expect but I do know I will be extremely hurt if he is phasing me out. I guess I use this term because we live very close to each other in the same condo complex. He has been divorced 16 years and has dated quite a bit in that timeframe with one LTR. He wants a LTR with someone who is not “crazy”. He has made comments about me that indicate I am the type of woman he is looking for. As I write this I feel a little strange that I am focusing on the sex as an indicator of his intentions. He is attentive, we spend a lot of time together, he is very open to me (more open than I am, I am more a private person). I just need male perspective, hopefully reassurance!

I dunno, maybe it is just me. I am 68 and have lots of natural lubrication. I was actually very reticent about sex because I didn't know if I could either. But I am so crazy about my guy and I think that is the biggest part of it.

EXACTLY RIGHT.

Definitely red flags.

Not sure if this is helpful, but first of all I don't think the fear of one's own dying is unusual, but if it affects your life then I agree with those who say seek therapy. Secondly, I was the victim of a crime and a gun was pointed at the back of my head (I am only alive because the gun misfired) and I can tell you that what went through my mind was not fear but total total peace. It is nothing I can put words to describe it completely and nothing I have ever experienced again. Third, since my husband died, I no longer fear it at all. You are very brave to come out with your post, because my feeling is most people feel that way but don't even want to talk about it.

I am a new member and hope to spread optimism for romance and love. I am so full of joy it is hard to contain. My husband died 3 years ago (I am in my late 60s), and although it gets lonely, I was not at all interested in meeting a new person romantically. Recently an old high school classmate contacted me. I had actually had a crush on him but we never dated. We have so very much in common, as well as a common history and what can I say things just took off between us. When you're not looking, it will find you. I wish for everybody to find this kind of happiness. In the meantime, find things to do that make you happy. Work, volunteer, join an interesting club: make yourself an interesting person; somebody you'd like to pal around with yourself.💖

Some guys are just like that, but how often do you see each other and when you do, what do you do and are you enjoying each other's company?

I hope you don't! But just answering the question as it was posed. Definitely not saying the cancer was caused by the shot either.

I would like to share a book that I wish had been available when I was a teenager. It is called "The Incurable Romantic" by Dr. Frank Tallis. He is a British psychotherapist and detailed some of more interesting cases, having to do with love and romance. But more important than those cases, IMO, is the insight he gives into the chemical, biological and social bases of love and romance. I sure wish I could have read this book 50 years ago.

A friend of mine did. It showed up after his booster and has turned out to be Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.