perplexed_one

Condom is not a 100% blockage to STDs but it gives the best available protection when you are at risk. A person can be a carrier of STDs during a window period ie- the initial period during which all tests will be negative still the person may have an STD-in the case of HIV, window period is three months & during these three months ELISA test will show negative results, but the person may still transmit HIV to his/her partner.

I would ever be thankful for the advices and concern shown by you all. I am aware that I have acted very selfishly and if for THIS ISSUE my husband left me, I would have never blamed him. I know what being married to him is worth, wherever we go, he becomes the centre of attention instantly and not even one week passes without some woman telling me how lucky I am to have him as man of my life. No apology would ever make good what I have done to his life. But the problem is I just cannot get this sick crazy fantasy of sex with that other man out of my mind. The harder I try the harder it sticks on. I will go for councelling as you all suggest, but should I take my husband along? Isnt that hurting him even further, when he is not at fault?

Hi everyone, Im happy to be in a place where I can air my problems without the fear of getting mocked at.. Well here I am, pretty confused. Im thirty five, happily married for seven years, deeply in love with my husband- he is just everything I look for in a husband. He also loves me a lot. I had been chatting online for past 5 years or so, since I have short working hours and a lot of time to do nothing.. me and my husbandd follows a total honesty policy, hence each of my chat friends are in touch with him by atleast occasional e-mail. Some have even visited him and me. Of late, I statred having a very strong sexual attraction to an online friend, when he visited me andd my husband in person, I was so exicted by his presense that I was dripping wet in his company. I was convincing myself this has got no serious impact, next time I met my friend online, I told him about my attraction towards him and to my surprise, he told me he was also feeling the same way all the time, but felt bad to disclose it to me, a woman leading a spotless clean happy life. Things changed a lot thereafter and I began thinking around the clock of having sex with him . When it becamse unbearable, I told my husband what has been going on. He was dumbfounded and could not believe this could happen to me and thought I had made up this story to test his trust in me. I was also very sad to see him shattered. My husband advised me to cut him off our life, thereafter I never spoke to this friend. Over the long period of our friendship, I came to know of him very close and know very well he is just looking for some free fun when it was readily available. I know he is mean and cheap compared to the man I live with. The problem is that I just cannot take off my mind the sexual fantasies I have about him. My husband can easily feel I am fantasising about him during sex and feels bad about it, though he understands I am helpless in controlling my thougts. Only possible solution to get over it seemed to have sex with my friend once, which I am sure will be a great disillution to me and will instantly kill all my fantasies about this man. I know he cannot be a caring lovemaker like my husband, I know he will act selfishly. Probably that will make me hate him and hate my fantasies about him. I discussed this with my husband. He was even more upset, but was convinced with my solution. He agreed to this, though in poor grace, since he did not have an alternate solution to my problem. He is depressed and moody ever after. I know I am playing with fire, but for some strange reason it all looks logical to me. By acting out my plan will I be solving my problem or will I mess up my life? This fantasy stuff has to end somehow or it will take all the fun out of my life. I just dont have any clue why this happened to me. I just dont know how can I prevent this happening ever again in my life. I just dont know whether my solution will work or add to the problems, but I want to test it badly.. Help!