Hey my first post!!! (been on this board for the past 8 months and gained much support and advise without actually posting, for which i feel really guilty. But I now feel that it is only fair that i give back to the commmunity from which i gained loads from....so hi guys).
i was in the same position, probably not with the financial and emotional stress, but with a sense of feeling that she was in an easier place than me i,e people to talk to, something to do, guys after her. But the one thing that got me through and made me positive was my ego (sounds funny huh?). As an egotistical person there were two opposing egos within me. One that wanted my gf back and one that would refuse to let her or anyone else see that i was down or beaten. That second ego,... thank God i had it. Please girl, be positive feed that 2nd ego inside you, i believe we all have it, love yourself, show him you have a life too. Make things happen for yourself cos if you dont no one else is going to do it for you.
I have a right to say this (there goes my ego), cos i have been so low, made a fool of myself, begged, cryed etc.... so dont feel that "oh he has not been there"... (nc for 6 months now, together for 3.75 years)
The best thing is that it will give you a sense of strength and pride that you could pick yourself up and fight. It will impress him (might not bring him back but will certainly make sure he will feel a loss), it will set you up to take the next relationship with him or someone else in your stride, with less worries and maybe one day you could give someone else advice which for me is the greatest outcome of my break up with my ex.
One more thing, like everyone says it wont be easy, but yes you know that infamous line, "things will get better with time"..... (i so used to hate that line and was determined to prove it wrong, but it got me too). You do have to work at it though, but not too hard get the balance right and you wil see a new you and show yourself that you have it in you.
Goodluck girl.
