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I know what you mean by seeing men and women as sexually arousing but in different ways. When I am with a man that I am attracted to, I want to be close to him and being close to him, the affection, turns me on and makes me feel almost euphoric. With a woman, it seems like it is more of a thrill out of looking at her. If I see a good looking woman do I feel attracted to her? Sometimes, but it is more of a passing thought not a firm attraction and I usually do not think of sex or a relationship with the woman. I am clearly more comfortable with being sexual and romantic with a man in a way that I don't think that I could with a woman. Ever since I was little, like in kindergarten, I imagined myself, daydreamed of myself with a man and that is something that is deeply ingrained in me.

Basically, I feel intense sexual arousal from both sexes but I feel more pulses with women. I need to know if the *pulses themselves* mean higher sexual arousal towards women and if that means that I am gay.

i hope the questions helped you and did not confuse you further. yeah , i would say that given your answers, you don't sound gay to me. not wanting a relationship with a man could just be because you are scared or that you just see a man as appealing on a sexual level, not a romantic one. bisexual people often times can get different needs met or see ezch gender as arousing or appealing in different ways.

I think that it depends on how you are thinking about your friends. Are you thinking about pleasuring them or are you thinking about them pleasuring you? Sometimes, if it is more in the context of thinking of someone pleasuring you, it may not make a difference who or which sex the person is. Some straight men would probably love a blow job from a gay man, because the gay man would really know how to pleasure another man the way women could not--but if the tables were turned, and the gay man wanted the straight man to reciprocate, it may be a different story. Is your desire for a man a frequent recurring desire or something that just pops in your head every so often? Do you fantasize the same way about girls that you know or if you had the opportunity to sleep with the hottest celeb female you can think of, would that turn you on? Would the feel of her skin against your body arouse you? If she wanted you to go down on her would that make you hot? I am not saying that you are gay, but a lot of gay men think Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson are just fabulous but it is more on an admiration/adoration level, not on a sexual one. Are the feelings you have for men and women the same or are they different? Have you ever really had any girlfriends? Is that a desire of yours? Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with a woman or a man? sorry if i am asking so many questions but i hope that they help you.

Hello All: Thank you for all of your responses. I guess the biggest things that confuse me are ~ the fact that i can get turned on if i look at naked porno women, but i am not generally attracted to women otherwise. Even in erotic dreams of women, i am either looking at a woman that i do not know or i am looking at a picture of a woman. with erotic dreams of men, i am usually engaging in sexual activity with a man. ~with women, i can feel pulses in my vagina and my breathing gets heavier. it feels great. i can also feel pulses if there is no sexual desire. (i can be just annoyed at something) do the pulses mean that i am very aroused or that i am just experiencing something highly emotional? or does one thing have nothing to do with another? i do not experience the pulses as much when i am turned on by a man, but emotionally i want to be really close to him, i feel very passionate and my vagina usually feels full and warm. i don't know if maybe it is because of different ideas men and women present to me based on what i was exposed to since childhood. i would see porn and the woman would be the main focus, so i may associate women with porn. sexuality with men has been viewed in passionate love scenes in movies. ~ i had a dream recently that i was making out with this guy that i was interested in and i was aroused by that and it felt wonderful and i felt so connected to him, but i remember feeling my vagina and i was not really wet and i was wondering in the dream if i was turned on enough because i was not really wet. i probably am focusing too much on feelings in my vagina and not enough on my emotions as a whole. ~ can a lesbian get turned on by sexual fantasies of touching a man's body sexually? i get turned on by sexual fantasies that i have where i am making love to men, kissing them, sucking their penises...but i wonder if that means anything. could i still be a lesbian? ~ i was reading about how women can get turned on by any type of porn and that their sexual orientations don't have so much to do with genital arousal, but on other factors. a woman can get genitally aroused by rape but that does not mean that she is really turned on? sorry if this sounds like a rant. i just really like getting input from others and i feel more comfortable discussing these matters online for now. thanks.

Hello. This is my first post. I am female. I have been confused about my sexuality for a while. I feel like I am attracted to both men and women both sexually but in somewhat different ways. I don't know which really defines my sexuality more. I am more visually drawn to look at women but this is usually not in a sexual sense. There is usually no emotional feeling, just more so an admiration of beauty. This admiration of beauty I persume is normal but I think that a big reason why I do it espeacially is because I always had a poor self image of my looks when I was little. My mom made me have short hair and wear my brother's hand-me-downs (we didn't have much money) and I wanted to be more feminine and beautiful myself so I would notice beautiful older girls. I am fairly attractive now and that particular facet of noticing beautiful women still remains. When I was little I would sometimes find porn with my friends and look at it. I would get really aroused by it and much of it featured women, as most porn is directed towards a male-audience. If it is porn that features men, most of the time it is gay porn, as far as what I have seen. But at the time, I didn't think of it being a naked girl, I was just so intreiged to see a naked person! Something sexual! Although, if I saw a video of a couple having sex (or if I would see a love scene in a regular movie) I would desire to be with the male and get aroused by the thought of being close to him and touching his body. (Would a lesbian just feel that way towards the woman in the scene, not the guy?) I am not attracted to my female friends. I don't usually feel attracted to women, but if I see porn featuring women, it turns me on. It feels like a bit of pressure builds up and then my vagina will pop. It has this nice exciting "ooh" feeling. But I have to see something pornographic to have this feeling towards women. Even if I see a beautiful, sexy woman in a bikini, I don't typically get aroused by that. With men, I don't get as aroused by porn featuring men because most of it is men having sex with other men. When I would see men with nice bodies on the net or guys that I personally know that emotionally gripped me, and I think of touching them, like rubbing their chests or performing oral sex on a man or kissing them, it turns me on but the arousal feels a little bit different than with women. My vagina feels warm and inflated with a pressure that slowly builds up. It doesn't feel exciting in the same way as I feel with women but I feel very passionate, loving, and desiring to give and receive affection. It feels almost euphoric. I have wondered, 'What if I am just having these feelings when I sexually fantasize about guys because I want affection?' I know that I definitely desire affection, most people do...but then why would I be thinking of giving blow jobs? I know that the trigger that gets me with women is that porno thrill that is derived from looks alone, but with men it is an emotional, affectionate connection that makes me want to make love to them. With woman it is a visual pleasure. With men it is a more of a physical pleasure but visual as well. I would imagine that a lesbian can get pleasure from having sex with a man, but would a lesbian get turned on by pleasuring the man? Would the feel of the man's hairy chest against her breasts turn her on? Would the feeling of a man's penis in her mouth turn her on? Does this make any sense? Also, I was wondering if the fact that I get aroused a little differently by both men and women really indicates anything about my sexual orientation or general feelings that I have towards men and women. I feel like there are different things that I am getting from both. I am so confused. I just want this to truly make sense. If it was a cut and dry thing it would. But it isn't.