burtonfolife

as i sit here crying i wonder to myself what the hell is wrong with me. i had a 4 year relationship with my ex and weve been apart for about 3 months because we needed some space. lately weve ben getting closer again and i kill myself every second thinking about not having her. i tell her how i feel, i show her how i feel, i surprise her, i love her so damn much. and she keeps throwing me away. she says speciffically when shell call, then she wont call or return my cals for a week......she says we will do something, then when i show up at her house she wont come outside. today we actually had linch and she said she wanted to hang out tongiht......so i call her, and she tells me to stop calling her and shell call me when shes ready to talk.......she doesnt want me in her life at all. i really feel like i dont want to live anymore. i cant stop loving her no matter what she does. i make myself sick and i cant stop. i do other things, i hang out wiht other people, but the entire time i feel like shit and i just start balling like a little kid all the damn time. she wont get out of my head. no matter how horribly she trats me i keep trying and getting hurt worse and worse each time. sorry for all the babbling. all i want to do is sit and cry for the next 10 years.....ive never felt so useless and hopeless in my life. everyone tells me what your going to say.....she doesnt deserve you, move on, and so on......but i cant. yesterday i stopped breathing i was crying so damn hard........i just dont know what to do....my life has stopped.

ok, i went out wiht my previous girlfriend for 3 and a half years.......every day of it was perfect, but towards the end there were some issues with her lying to me about hanging out wiht some guy and i basically lost it. we also broke up because for some nagging reason i wanted to know what it would be like with someone else since she was the only person i had ever dated....... after breaking up with her i began going out wiht a girl i go to school with(not right away) ive been with this girl for about 5 months and i really think im deeply in love wiht her. shes smart, beautiful, we please each other very much and besides soem random things i think shes perfect...... the girl i used to go out with hasnt really kept in touch that much which made me very very sad, but anyway shes been calling alittle more frequently lately and i dont know what to do. i think about them both every minute of every day. and i honestly love them both. my ex doesnt know(i dont think) that im going out with someone else because its never come up, and the girl im wiht now doesnt know about my ex because it hasnt come up(it really hasnt, its not that ive hid it from either one of them)... i really dont know what to do, i dont want to lead anyone on....i wish i could have them both because i love them so damn much. anyone have any good advice?? im really bound here

thanks a lot for the response.........the problem is that i dont think i would get over this one. i realize that eventually i would have to and move on and perhaps find someone, but i honestly feel like we were meant for noone but each other and i will do anything for our love to stay. but i do understand more now that if does not stop i will have to reaccess. i cant deal with this type of pain all the time. even though she says otherwise.......when she does it, it really feels like she doesnt love me. and if she really did love me...wouldnt she do absolutly anything in the world to stay with me? i would for her.

ive never really seeked out advice before but here it goes. i do everything i can for my girlfriend. weve been together for about 6 months an di see here on a daily basis and hate not seeing here every second of the day. i tell her how strongly i feel about here and about a week ago i told her that i was in love wiht her, and she said she thought she was in love with me too.......... a couple times in the past week shes blown off plans with me to go do something with either a firend or go to a concert with some friends or something. i made kind of a big deal about it, especially since it kept happeneing, and she got mad at me, then last night she broke up with me and said it was because i should be able to deal with her breaking plans with me. it absolutly killed me and i did something ive never done before, i sobbed like a blubbering idiot. i told her how deeply in love wiht her i was and how she was my angel. then she told me she didnt want to break up........what the hell?????? i get jelous really quickly, which might be why it hurts so bad, but i really cant stand when someone makes plans wiht me and breaks them for anyhting short of a once in a lifetime opportunity or an emergency or something. sorry for all the babbling, but i love her so much and i dont know what i would do without her being in my life. anyone have anyhting to say?? thank you in advance