David Shade

Hi Michelle03, What do you think is the most threatening thing to a man? It is the idea of his woman having intercourse with another man. And thus, what do you think would be the most exciting thing for a man to witness? It is the fantasy of most men, but few men admit it. In actuality, for a woman to oblige her man's request to have a threesome with another man is the most genuine expression of trust and the most ruthless expression of sexuality that she could demonstrate to him. For couples who are secure in themselves and in their relationship, it is an exciting occasional endeavor. The first time for a man to witness is usually very disturbing, yet very exciting. It is no reflection on you. It has to do with him and his self assurance. Usually the fantasy is more exciting and less problematic than the reality. Simply assure him that you still feel the same about him. Maybe some time in the future you two will be secure enough in yourselves and in the relationship. Until then, assure him that you are always available to talk with him about anything. Stick with moving forward and making the relationship stronger. David Shade

Hey corvidae, You have a lot of self limiting beliefs. You are interpreting the world in a manner to excuse your inability to get off your rump and do something. The typical complaint of men: "Women have all the power." A woman can walk into any bar and take a man home in 5 minutes. And the more beautiful she is, the more true it is. And from that, men conclude that women have all the power, that women have all the sexual choice. Last weekend my girlfriend and I were at the club and we were talking with a number of beautiful young ladies. These were all high self-esteem intelligent women, who also happened to be genetically fortunate enough to be adorably cute with incredible bodies. I asked the ladies if they thought that women had all the sexual power. They all emphatically said no. My girlfriend pretty much summed it up when she said: "Imagine what it would be like to be a beautiful woman. Really, what is it like to be a hot woman? You get perks. You don't have to put air in your tires. You get offered free drinks. All that stuff. But you get objectified. And being objectified SUCKS! There is no power in that. Sure, you could walk into any bar and take a man home in 5 minutes, but you don't know him, and you would just be an object, so the sex would suck. There is no power in that. I have a high threshold for pleasure because I've had good lovers. And the sex probably wasn't that good the first time, it was a bit awkward, but it became awesome as we became closer. That is what women want. We do not have any granted power to get what we want. We want to meet a man who will be exciting to be with. We like the build up. It is exciting to be with an exciting man." I have talked to many many women about this topic, and they all say about the same thing. "Yeah, I can pick up a man any day. Yeah, a woman decides when the sex will happen. But there's no power in that!" I have never subscribed to the belief that women have all the power. Look at the reality of the situation. The reality is that women are unfulfilled. They lay awake in bed at night fantasizing about what it would be like to be with a truly exciting man. They read 400 page romance novels to vicariously live the life they really wanted to live. Thirty percent of women have never had an orgasm. Seventy percent of women have never had an orgasm in intercourse. Reality points to the fact that women have a lot of frustrations. David Shade link removed

Hey White[icE], Use what I call "The Deep Spot." Back in '93, I was dating a 22 year old woman who had never had an orgasm. She did have one long term boyfriend, so I knew that intercourse or oral would not do the trick. So I just took my time finding what would feel good for her. With my middle finger I searched for her "g" spot, but received no response. Then I decided to slide my finger in as far along the front wall of her vagina as I could. At its greatest depth, the inner diameter of the vagina increases. This area is no longer spongy, but instead smooth and firm, with slight horizontal ribbing. I curled the tip of my finger in a "come hither" manner, while pressing hard against the ribbing and slightly pulling down. She immediately responded to this. After continuing this for a few minutes, she had a concerned look on her face. Then the most wonderful thing happened. I watched the face of this beautiful woman while, for the first time in her life, she had an orgasm. That was sweet. She then breathlessly said "David, kiss me!" Eventually she was able to orgasm readily in any manner. According to Gray's Anatomy, this area is called the "cavity of the cervix." This area is shaped like the underside of a Frisbee, with the cervix in the center pointing downward. Imagine the way you hold a Frisbee. Your fingertips touch the inside edge of the Frisbee. Curl the tip of your finger down the inside edge of the Frisbee in a "come hither" manner. Later I was seeing a woman who had only had orgasms with the aid of continual direct clitoral stimulation. Basically, she had only had clitoral orgasms. I used the deep spot on her, and within a few minutes she exclaimed: "Oh David, I'm gonna come! I have NEVER come this way! Oh, I'm gonna COME!" and she did, her very first vaginal orgasm. After a few evenings of awakening her vagina (by stimulating less of the deep spot and more of the wall of the vagina) she was able to readily orgasm in intercourse. Because the uterus is slightly tilted towards the front, the cavity of the cervix is also slightly tilted. The Frisbee is lower in the front and higher in the back. The entire inside edge of the Frisbee, all the way around, is sensitive. Another variation to this is to get her on her hands and knees and go in along the back wall of her vagina. Go in as deep as possible. Along the back it is deeper because the Frisbee is tilted. Curl the tip of your finger as if to press hard against her tail bone. Repeat. To her it will feel as if she is getting butt f*cked. Some women find this very exciting and will experience a very powerful orgasm. I did this to one woman as she held the bathroom sink. When she was coming I thought she was going to rip the sink right off the wall. After she caught her breath, and checked for broken finger nails, she told me that she just had the most powerful orgasm of her life. "That was the grand daddy of 'em all!" When you massage the deep spot, do it firmly. As you massage the back of the deep spot, you are simulating the "ballooning" that occurs in this area at the time of her orgasm. As you massage any area of the deep spot, you are simulating the muscle contractions that occur at the time of her orgasm to dilate the cervix. She can't HELP but come! The deep spot has one important benefit over the clitoris. The problem with the clitoris is that after a few seconds of an orgasm, it becomes so painfully sensitive that it cannot be further stimulated. The deep spot does not have this problem. The deep spot is one way to give a woman a very sustained orgasm. Besides, these natural muscle contractions continue to occur for some time after an orgasm anyway. Another alternative to this is to let her lie face up. Use two fingers, your index finger and your middle finger. Keep the tips of your two fingers about an inch apart as you rub firmly against the front of her deep spot. I did some research and found that Chee Ann Chua, a Malaysian marriage counselor, published a paper called the "a-spot" in 1997 in "The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy." The text basically says: "The Anterior Fornix of the vagina is located on the front wall of the vagina just below the cervix. It is about 3/4 of an inch to 1 1/2 inches long. Its borders are not well defined. The texture is smooth, unlike the G-Spot. If you place the tip of your finger over the cervix, and move it down a bit, staying on the front wall, your fingertip will be on the anterior fornix. Stimulate in a circular motion. If you move down too far, you will feel the texture change. That will mean that your finger tip is no longer in the right place." This is the front of "the deep spot." But, as I said above, the deep spot is sensitive all the way around, and, it should be stroked by bending the tip of the finger in a "come hither" fashion while at the same time pulling down. But the most powerful way to stimulate the vagina is at the back of the deep spot. Get the tip of your middle finger way in deep along the back of the vagina. Stroke against the back of the vagina in a 'come hither' manner. When she gets really excited, the deep back of the vagina will begin to pocket. Press the tip of your middle finger against the back of the pocket, and with the pad of your finger, press down on the PC muscle, which will be contracting so hard that it will feel like it is going to break your finger. But drive on hard. It will drive her crazy. So, I enlisted my willing love lab subject (my girlfriend) and I set out to rate the various "spots." Here are the actual anecdotal findings of the experiment in increasing order of efficacy: g-spot "good" a-spot with circular stimulation "MUCH better" front of deep spot with come hither stroking "Oh Yes" back of deep spot with come hither stroking "OH God" back of deep spot with long and forceful stroking "OH DAVID" David Shade link removed