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Day 11: It's taking everything in my power not to text her even though I know nothing good can come out of it. I hate myself for breaking no contact the first time around and going on that psycho tirade that probably brought our chances of reconciliation to zero. I feel like I'll never see or hear from her again

I caved in and checked my ex's social media after 10 days of NC and saw a few posts of her hanging out with two guys. I have good reason to suspect that she's at least romantically interested in one of them (he's decent looking and was seated next to her at the restaurant they went to instead of across from her with the other guy). I don't necessarily feel betrayed since it's been 2 and a half months since the breakup and I'm choosing to give her the benefit of the doubt regarding her motivations for breaking up with me, but it really drives home that this chapter in my life is over. There's no way I can beg, plead or make myself super available to her anymore now that I know there's probably someone else in the picture. I'm really gonna miss her--I relied on her so much emotionally, and she honestly gave me the best months of my adult life.

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