Kyoshiro Ogari

Gee, another incident.

Me and my best friend (a very attractive guy) were in a book store. There was a cute girl helping us finding books. She was friendly and all and I kept making her laugh with comments about the books and the author. Out of the blue she said that I cracked her up and I said that it was my job to make the world see you smile, because you have a very nice smile. She really didn't say anything, in fact she seemed to have brushed it off. No worries. At least I did something. My friend saved the awkward moment by popping back into the convo.

But get this. A few minutes later, my friend was chatting her up (since he was the one looking for the book) and I heard him say "You really do have a nice smile" and she giggled and said thank you to him.

When we walked out the store, my friend said that he's going back to ask her out because they had a nice convo for about 15 minutes as I browsed the astrology section (read: eavesdropped)

So my question for the ladies is, when an unattractive guy compliments you, does his opinion matter as much as an attractive guy? It may seem like a silly question, but to me it is valid because I don't think our opinions matter, since we're not "candidates."

Thanks.

I am living with an upbeat attitude! I am walking with my head held high, my chin up and my eyes wide open. I am going outside with a positive attitude that so what if I don't have anyone. It won't bother me one bit!

Then I see 5 couples kissing. And I'm back to square one. But you know what the best thing is about being single and alone?

Me either.

Everyone here makes sense, but I am having a hard time seeing it because what I present isn't how I feel. I am very upbeat on the surface, I just come home and put on the sad face. Everytime I see someone I am attracted to, I have a smile, my shoulders aren't slumped, and I don't look to the ground anymore like I used to. I somewhat switch roles and I do gain a little confidence, whether it's fake or not. When I am chatting the ladies up, I make them laugh and, well that's it. That's why from what I've seen so far in my life {who I am

And it doesn't help having a best friend who is anti social, frowns much of the time, is good looking, yet has women flocking to him. Although he smiles a ton more, he has no problem with women. I've seen it several times with him. Once on an airplane, he made eye contact with one of the fellow passengers, ten minutes later he had a phone number. I could never do that with how I look, even if the humor thing is a positive for me.

I wonder if I am cursed. Or if I abolished Love on some distant planet, in a former life, and this is my payback.

I cannot phathom how to attract this species they call Female. It is a head scratcher. I am the magnet, they are the rubber band.

The Hunkazoids that surround me barely lift a finger and barely notice the women I see from afar, yet the HkZs are admired like some painting by a long gone famous artist. So how can my canvas, which looks like Crayola's Worst Nightmare, reel in the ones they call Woman? Am I to assume that this trick in the bag called confidence is the be all end all of what brings Male and Female together? Or should I face reality that as long as I am in the presense of The Incredible Mr. Adonis, that I am nothing more than a fly on an elephant's ear?

My good looking co-worker is shy and he is called just that, which women consider cute when he turns into a blushing Cabbage Patch Kid as they compliment him on every thread that drapes his oh so super duper body.

I am shy and left alone, assumed to be a stalking weirdo before a word is spoken, only to be labeled an aloof goof when I struggle to talk in their presense. So I am left alone.

I thought my threads were cool, too. Guess it must be the fabric of his delicious being and not the fabric of his clothing. Thanks Perry Ellis.

This post is a long rant, sorry. This is basically what I go through just about everyday in life.

Either at a party, the workforce, the train, the bus, school, the bookstore, a gathering, a meeting, ect.

I'll use an example that happened to me last night because this was probably the lowest I've felt in a while when it comes to this evil plan called attraction.

I am at the holiday party. My company is huge, thereforeeee the crowd was huge. I wanted to chat up some of the women there, but naturally I got my glass of sparkling spring water and headed for the nearest corner. But then I kept thinking to myself that this could be my shot to meet someone. So I sucked it up and began my journey.

So I go to one crowd where I recognize a few of my co-workers and we're chatting about invoices and all. One of the girls there was very stunning, smiling yet kinda quiet and shy, so i put my pretend radar on her... beep beep beep beep LOCK! Target in sight. \\ Kyo, use that humor of your's to make your marc. No soon as my lovedar goes on lock, here comes this tall dark and handsome guy from another department. Wouldn't you know it, Georgeous Gal #1 couldn't take her eyes off my God-like Nemesis. She did the whole look, look away-look again-look away bit that I did with her only moments ago. I think she looked at me once, and that was because I was standing in front of his too-cool silver striped tie. Whatever. He was funny, about 5" taller than me, had a killer tie that dominated the convo and was popular in his department, so he beat me 5-0.

On to the next crowd, where a few of my co-workers from that previous gathering spotted some people they knew from another department, so I followed them. This time I decided to put the radar on two gals in that crowd, still steaming over the first loss. Alas, no gorgeous hunk to come and make me look like a toad, so this is my chance!! So we talk more about invoices (which are a pain at my job) and I start to go on my rant about trying to pay people, calling people who speak bad english but no other language BUT english, ect. and I'm reeling them in. But since I don't know them that well, my rant was sort of short and sweet, yet effective. they laughed. Swish! \\

But lo and behold, I forgot I was in the presense of the most popular guy in my department, and he literally snached the ball from me, kicked me in the stomach and shoved me to the ground. And since he had more experience at the job that I did, he went deeper about the invoices than I did with my "basic rant." I was soon a ghost. I think the girls looked at me one other time, but only to ask me, "Isn't he funny?" Whatever.

Throughout the night, I would eye a girl, not stare, try to make my way to them, only to realize that this party was loaded with so many hunks that even I would date them if they asked me, and I'm not gay. I tried to believe in myself, that I am an individual and what I am (ugly) should not be compared to what they are (immortal statues of hunkness) But from the vibes I got, I realized I had absolutely no chance with anyone there, so I split.

This party helped me stamp what I've wondered all along. Why would a girl want to date me knowing there are so many other guys out there who are thrice as good looking? What do I have, humor? Only goes so far. Kindness? Whatever. I realize that I am a rotting slab of horse meat on a garden salad in a vegetarian's world. No one wants this meat.

This happens to me all the time. I'm 33 and running out of patience. I need someone in my life to at least talk to, hopefully develop a great friendship and beyond. But it stops at friends, if it gets that far. I guess I should just leave society.

If anyone knows an isolated swamp with HBO and the football channel, let me know.

Sorry to bore you all.

Sincerely,

Eff Le World

I think this happiness without someone stuff applies when it's by your choice. If you are looking for someone and cannot find them, that frustration builds up and builds up and sometimes turns into bitterness. I was happy without someone when I wanted to be by myself. Now, I don't want to be by myself and I am frustrated and unhappy.

Sure hot guys don't get looked at by 100% of the women. But the percentage is incredibly high, otherwise they wouldn't be defined as hot. It makes me wonder why the less attractive are concerned about their looks, if it isn't supposed to matter much, or at all.

That's the stuff that romance novels are made of. I hope you made his day. I know you did! Congradulations! Please keep us updated.

ok you might think that this post is about me talking about how small my man organ is but the problem is that it is a little bit bigger than normal girls can handle. I dont know what to do, i mean should i date a bigger girl who can take more or what?

lol, this thread is in the wrong section, perhaps. I think "Personal Growth" is more about your inner you, not the growing johnson.

As for you, I think you will be ok, depending. Just how big are you? Is it TOO big or just a rather large penis?

I froze.

I just stood there like a caramel coated lump of goo. ](*,)

This is a girl I've waited a looooooooong time to talk to. I usually see her and say nothing, but on Monday, a situation arose where we finally talked to each other. Our train was stuck in the station and the doors wouldn't open. She turned to me and said something in Angel Speak that I couldn't decipher and I made a comment and she laughed. So I continued, and she kept laughing. And I kept going. And she kept laughing. Then someone came up to us and asked up what happened to the train. I forgot what I said, but it brought tears to my crush's eyes. The other people around us were laughing too.

Then the laughter slowly faded as silence and frustration from the delayed train began to take over. A long pause and then I just stood there with my hands in my pockets, frightened of this magnificent marvel they call Woman. I couldn't even look her in the eye.

Then two days later, I see her again, but I said nothing. We were standing next to each other. Then another situation came up where this lady walked up to us and asked me if I knew where Madison Avenue was, and I said, "I sure do!" and I stood there for a few seconds, whistling. My crush starts cracking up and then I asked the lady, "Oh, you wanna know, too?" Little did I know that the lady was in a hurry. Eh, who cares, I got what I came for. After that, my crush turns to me and said something else in Goddess Lingo, but I couldn't hear her over the harps playing in the background. I said, "Well, I just thought she was randomly testing my knowledge." Again, she laughed as the train pulled in. We got on, she plopped on what looked like a heart shaped pillow, I sat down a few seats away, but I couldn't look her in the eye again since the train was jam packed. I coulda sat next to her, but I didn't want to come off like a lion on a gazelle.

What should I do the next time I see her? It is so hard for me to say a simple hello how are you doing. I am incredibly intimidated by her beauty, even though she seems like the nicest girl, and for some reason that makes it more intimidating because she's more than a pretty face. And today I had to take another train, but as I was walking, I saw her waiting for the train and saw her looking my way a few times and touching her hair as I approached the line she was on. Instead of a quick, "Have a nice weekend", I looked to the floor and sped out of there with a red face and I've been damning myself for that since this very sentence.

How do I follow up? I am so embarrassed.

I agree with KevinT, but he and I for the most part are on the same wave length with regards to this subject.

I will never be convinced of "needing to complete yourself" before you allow someone else to complete you, that you can be happy once you find yourself. That works for people who want to... find themselves. People who want to love, look for love. People who want to complete themselves, search for completing themselves. Two different goals.

Sorry to say, buit I think this whole "complete unto you before others complete you" theory is just an affirmation to give us something to do instead of banging our heads on the walls out of sheer utter bitter loneliness. Believe me, I've worn out my 4 walls.

It all depends on the individual, that's why we have different views on what makes us complete on this planet.

Others may believe in completing within the self before completing with another, but not me. I am in tremendous pain right now and this whole "being complete" stuff won't put a dent in it. I've "self improved" over the last two years and I am still as miserable as I was when I was incomplete because I don't have someone to SHARE everything with. Yeah, that's a new sig idea, perthinks. If I didn't want to care, then I wouldn't want to share. Nah, too corny.

How good are your contacts in the sales division? Anyone remotely near the occupation you seek? If you can, try to bring it up (without destroying the sale or your selling power, not sure how you can do this without looking like you want out right away.) I'm sure one phone call could lead to another, or a recommendation. You sell to someone who sells to someone else, the links on the chain should lead you to your destined path. Whatever you choose, I hope you find what you're looking fo. ]

I can only speak from personal experience, I've dated guys that would be considered "average" to maybe a tad "below average", this would happen after falling for their personality. I know many women are also like this. However, I probably wouldn't have looked at them twice walking down the street, unfortunately, i'm not perfect either - NO ONE IS!!! - Everyone has some flaw/flaws they wish they could improve upon.

 

My point here, the chemistry for these men grew VERY strong after getting to know their amazing personalities. And I'm talking major butterflies here bud!!

I agree 101%

The part I bolded is what I, and probably a lot of shy/unattractive/average guys, feel is our downfall. We need to work twice as hard and thrice as long as attractive dudes because we have a strike against us, which is our looks. The Good Lookers, being handsome and all, have that check mark, so basically it's their's to lose. But that is one of the Laws of Attraction that is not our fault, just nature. Most of us feel that way unfortunately.

It's not impossible, but it takes time, and the love can be extra special. But I think it would be so much easier to catch a woman's eye, approach her and talk to her instead of "growing on her" and slooooooooowly eliminating that first glance impression.

I wish I could disagree, but I can't. Not yet, anyway. Not with what I've seen. If it were true that personality is A#1, then link removed wouldn't be begging us to put up our picture up to get 10xs the responses. Duh. It's all about attraction.

But, there are rare instances when, in the long run, your personalty can slowly drape you in a magical cloak you that makes you look better than you actually do. The Sense of Humor Cloak, Version 2 is the most potent one.

Unfortunately, some of these cloaks come with a virus known as the AttractionBlocker3000, where your camoulflage is virtually useless. I have chatted online with two very sweet women that I met on a sports site, both of whom were in like with the man of their dreams. They weren't in love because physically, the men weren't their type. But as for everything else, they were darn near perfect for them.

I beg of you my brothers, beware the AttractionBlocker3000, also known as the FriendZone Unlimited. The wounds cut real deep.

And it works both ways. We men are just as guilty.

Really, it can be something else?? Like what?

I don't know, but I do know that blood in the stool is not automatically hemmroids, even if the other symptoms mimic it. Like you I am a hypercondriac, so I would see a doctor to let him/her diagnose it and perhsps they can help you rid the problem much faster. Not sure about the sex thing.

I am sorry to hear about your current condition.

Have you been diagnosed with hemmroids? I wouldn't assume it is hemmroids, it could be or it could be something else. Blood in stools can be many things. Please check with your doctor first to make sure it's hemroids or something where a different type of treatment is nessesary.

Good luck.

You'll be amazed at how a spark or a click turns the most picky bachelor into puddy... unless he's dead set on sewing his wild oats. Otherwise, if you two connect, I smell ggreen pastures ahead.

why would the authorities give out information to enotalone.com about a person who regularly chatted on the site, and whether they died or not? doesn't that sound kind of odd?

We have contacts at various organizations (police, publishers, etc) that help us do legwork from time to time.

That may answer it.

I think you can be happy alone if you choose to be alone. Right now I am lonely, but not by choice.

yet another case where my friend is in the same situation. Exactly the same.

He met a girl online and met her in person. He told me she was cute in her face and a very sweet girl, but was too big. He really loved her personality and said that he was considering telling her that if they wanted to continue to see each other, she'll have to drop the weight.

I begged him not to and he agreed.

To make a long story short, she's still the same weight... but they're engaged.

He looked past it. Some people are different, but if you really care for this girl, and that caring blossoms into love, the weight may not be that much of an issue.

And no, you are not shallow.

I was thinking about fake deaths on forums today, not this one, but in general. I saw it in another thread where someone posed as their brother and reported the "death", but we did an online searchfor a news report in that area (claimed he died in a horrific fire) and saw nothing. It sucks that this type of attention is pulled but at least a death did not occur.

Thanks Avman, aka Enotalone's Columbo.

First of all, violin teachers are the biggest roots of evil, next to chicken pluckers of course.

I believe in astrology, but not astrological restrictions. In fact, I have a high probability rate of guessing your sign just by looking into your eyes and asking you your biggest weakness. It's a trick that amazes even me.

I, the Pisces male, am most compatible with Scorpios, Cancers & Capricorns. So if I fall for a Sag, should I approach with caution? But in my chart, my rising is Aries and my moon is Capricorn, and I have 5 planets in Gemini, so should I shun that seductive scorpio female?

I say, use astrology for fun and games and typical stereotypes for laughs, and even comparisons in bed if you can. I wouldn't give it a second thought otherwise.

I am not afraid of spiders. I actually find them to be the second most fascinating insect right behind the Ant. If my girl wants me to kill one, consider it obliterated. If not, I'll watch it.

But roaches. Aaaahhh!

I am not ashamed to say that I am absolutely terrified of the huge ones, and pretty darn scared of them in general. I don't know why, all they can do to me is run for their lives. I literally get the heebee geebees when I see them. I start feeling all over myself and running around in circles like a 5 year old girl. I truly believe they give off some type of defense mechanism that puts fear into the human brain. I mean, can these critters even fight? They have to have some type of defense, and I think it's fear.

If a roach came up to me and said he was taking over the house and wanted me to scram, all I can do is tell him that the rent is do on the last friday of the month and then I'm outta there like a bat outta hell.

As for those cute little spiders though, I can't see the fear factor other than the stigma that comes with them. I wouldn't let one crawl up my arm, but I don't run from them either... unless they have a roach with them.

If you truly feel lonely, a mate won't cure that. Lonliness comes from within. If it could be cured by others, then how do people feel lonely within a marriage? And a person can have a lot of friends and still feel lonely.

Than can be true, but that is not always the case. Companionship can negate loneliness when companionship is not currently present. If the person still feels lonely after gaining companionship, then he/she needs to work on their inner self. I've felt lonely with friends, mostly because I was depressed about myself and they could not help me and I felt all alone in this big world, not fitting in so to speak. That was back then, though. Now, that's not the case. I guess we can separate the types of lonliness. Love Loneliness vs. Inner Loneliness.

I'm happy for you and hope you do find someone or at the very least, remain complete.

I noticed you used the word 'alone' alot during your post. But I also noticed you didn't use one word that is key here: Lonely.

Some people are lonely in spurts. Others, like myself, are lonely 24/7/365. There are those like us who are reminded everyday about how lonely we are. It's all around us. And especially for those like me, in their 30s, who has never had a relationship and is heart broken more and more everyday, especially when you feel unattractive and think that love is a galaxy away.

I just can't fathom being happy or content alone anymore.

Perhaps if I was an asexual creature.

Perhaps if I love sharing success with me and only me.

Perhaps if I love watching others experienceing that which I never had.

Perhaps if I wasn't so lonely.

But that's just me. I may be the minority, but I know I'm not alone.

Except in love.