Empathy

Never settle. Its better to be alone than to be married to someone you don't love.

This is EXACTLY how I feel about it. I couldn't stand to commit myself to someone I didn't truly connect with. I'd rather live and die alone.

I can't really offer you any advice because I'm in the same exact place as you. All I can do is identify with you. And it sucks! It's gotten to where when I go on dates, I go just for the heck of it. Not because I know it will lead anywhere. I know that no matter how great they seem in the beginning, soon I'll find something about them that I just can't get past and I won't want to see them anymore. I fear being single forever too.

I just want to tell him no. There would be a lot of satisfaction to be gained.. From telling someone who hurt you so many times that they just can't have you anymore.

Amen to that.

I've found that most individuals are in fact two people in one; the person they are when they're with you and the person they are when they're far away from you. I was in a long distance relationship for over a year so I got to learn that the hard way. "Absense makes the heart grow fonder." We've all heard it before and it couldn't be more true. My ex was just as sweet as could be in his letters, and when he was with me things were perfect...but only for the first few days. After the first few days he turned back into the cold-hearted person that was truly him.

What I'm pretty much trying to say is that the person you knew before he left is the person you'll get when he comes back. Not the man in those letters. If he has abandoned you twice, he'll do it again.

Right now you have a best friend and his name is No Contact. Get to know Mr. No Contact better than you know yourself. I think you get what I'm saying...lol.

I can't find my Boomstick Edition DVD.

That's AWESOME! haha. It's my favorite movie of all time!

The way I would approach it is to stop calling her and see if she even notices. That's how I found out that my best friend wasn't really my best friend at all.

"Boredom is the root of all evil. The despairing refusal to be oneself."

~Soren Kierkegaard

I love that quote! Anyway. To answer your question, I don't feel that boredom THIS evil is normal. If you want things to work between you and your boyfriend its probably best to convey this problem to him. See if it's something that can be dealt with.

The thing that makes it worse too is that I always seem to fall hard for the girl that is a little bit indifferent and doesn't work that hard in the relationship, sometimes doesn't call back or misses a day in emailing or whatever. I told her before that it really hurts me when she misses emailing me or something and she got pissed off at me thinking I was way too sensitive.

 

I can't help it though, not hearing from her for even half a day puts me into a major depression, but the instant she contacts me I am instantly happy again, my moods put me on a roller coaster ride whenever I am in a relationship or hoping for a relationship.

Go to this thread:

And read what RayKay has to say on the first page. What she said really hit home with me.

This is a good question. I hope many people respond to it with very good answers. I'd like to know the answer to this one myself.

Not remembering what you did the night before is definitely indicative of a problem.

This is also true. If you can't control your drinking...If you go into a bar with the intention of having only one beer yet you end up needing to call a taxi by the time the night is over...you're considered an alcoholic. Even if this happens only once a month. As annie said, it's very indicative of a problem.

What Annie meant when she said that you can be an alcoholic and only have one drink a month, etc...is that once you're an alcoholic you're always an alcoholic. You can abstain from alcohol completely and still be an alcoholic. Take it from me, an alcoholic. I've been in treatment 3 times for it already and I'm still battling this stuff. And what I've learned from treatment and AA is that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. It's a disease. When you quit drinking you're still an alcoholic, the disease has just gone into remission. And if you're an alcoholic who doesn't drink but doesn't attend a support group like AA or isn't actively seeking assistance with your problem you're what's called a "dry drunk."

I'm in the exact same spot as you. Only I haven't made any improvements in my life since the break-up so I feel even more worthless. Now when I think of him and his girlfriend I can't help but tell myself "She's better than you. You've accomplished nothing and nobody wants someone who is going nowhere in life." I'm in a really bad point in life right now and I have been for over a year...since we broke up. Anyway! This isn't about me, it's about you. Sorry. I'm still in a lot of pain and it consumes me sometimes. All I can do is tell you, as the site name more than implies, that you're not alone. I thought I was over it for a long time too, then suddenly out of the blue I find the wounds ripped open again. It's as if I haven't healed at all. As if we broke up just last month...I too find myself hoping that he'll come back to me even though I am 100% sure he never will. He's infatuated with this girl and feels nothing but indifference for me. I've accepted that and that's the best thing I can do right now to help me heal...although it doesn't really seem to be working. I can't say that this girl won't come back into your life but it's best to prepare yourself for the great possibility that she won't. Good luck and take care. I'm right where you are so I understand and wish you the best.

I LOVE make-up. I don't really care all that much about my hair. I just wash it, dry it and brush it. For face make-up I use a tinted moisturizer, some concealer for the rings under my eyes and some cornsilk powder to get rid of shine. My favorite aspect of make-up is eye make-up. I love to play with color. I generally use eye shadow, eyeliner and mascara. It's hard for me not to use eyeliner. It makes my eyes pop a lot more. For lips I just use anything sheer and glossy. I'm not a big lipstick girl. I like to keep the emphasis on my best feature. My eyes.

I'm with antilove on this one. Your weight gain is probably due to the constipation and will disappear when you finally get rid of the problem.

Ok. Point taken. Sorry if I offended you. It wasn't my intention. Chill.

I have to depend on my parents for the money. Because of them I'm still pretty much a child. I've never been able to take care of myself. I have to depend on them.

There's something wrong with me and my parents won't let me see a doctor. My mom won't take me to one because my dad doesn't want to pay for me to see a doctor so she doesn't want to screw up her marriage. She says that if she sneaks me to a doctor and my dad finds out it could be the end of the two of them. Here's my problem.

I'm an alcoholic and I got treatment for it about a year ago. Well, I slipped up a couple of months ago and started drinking HEAVILY. For the first month I was getting black out drunk every other night. Sometimes 2 to 3 nights in a row. Then for the next month it was mostly on the weekends, sometimes 2 or three times a week. Well about 3 weeks ago I decided I had to stop. That I was just tearing myself apart. So I did and things started changing. I missed an entire period. My hair has been falling out, even my pubic hair! I've lost some of my eyebrows too and I'm just so tired all of the time and my memory has gotten AWFUL. I gained 15 pounds since I stopped drinking and now I can't lose it. I've also virtually stopped sweating. And yesterday I developed a new symptom. Dry mouth and excessive thirst. No matter how much water I drink I can't get rid of it. And I'm so hurt by my parent's selfishness and so afraid of what could be wrong with me that I find I want to just kill myself. I just don't feel that I'm worth keeping alive.

I know a lot of you are going to tell me that I should get a friend to take me but it's not that simple. I don't know anyone that can take me, plus I don't have the money to pay for it. No job, no car, no car, no job. And I can't go to the hospital that serves people with no money (can't remember what you call those hospitals) because I'm on my parent's insurance. I just don't know what to do. I'm so depressed because I'm afraid I'll be fat and bald before I find out what's wrong with me.

Ok...I'm going to reply to this thread to the best of my ability. I'm not as mentally adept as I once but I'll give it a shot. lol. Ever heard of something called "the honey moon phase" ? Well honey, it may just be that your honey moon phase is over. Trying to resist the end of the ever perfect honey moon phase is like trying to resist death. It's impossible. You may be able to delay it, but it eventually gets you. The only thing you can do is accept the inevitable. Now, I'm not saying that this IS the case. I'm just saying that it could be the issue and the forgetting is just a symptom of that issue. When the honey moon phase ends so does the perfect memory for dates and the lavish gifts that come with certain holidays. It's when the comfort phase begins. Do you think maybe he's just beginning to get "comfortable" with the relationship? It doesn't mean that he doesn't care.

Just wear what you normally wear. If she didn't have a problem with it before she shouldn't have a problem with it now.

Or, like author and former nun Karen Armstrong, you can draw strength and wisdom from all religions. I consider religion not a science, but an artform that humans use to make sense of it all. Like life, you can choose what has meaning and avoid the fluff.

Very good point.

This is where I come in and say that not believing in God makes you just as blind as believing in God. There is no concrete evidence to prove or disprove the existence of a higher power. Which is why I'm agnostic.

I think you are overreacting; he is relaxed, but you seem to be on-edge. I suggest you chill out!

You clearly have no idea how uncomfortable guys like that can make a woman. lol. I have bad luck in that department. Most of the guys that I've met come on waaaay too strong and it makes determining their character a little difficult. It can either mean that they really are a little too comfortable with themselves or that they have NO clue about the dating world and think what they're doing is right. Not only can it be decieving but it gets annoying. I met a guy once who on our first "date" almost drove off of the road because he kept staring at me and telling me how beautiful I was....It creeped me the hell out. Seriously guys. Less is more!

Oh. Then no to lipo. But I know exactly where you're coming from. I've had cellulite in the same area since I was 15. No matter how much weight you lose it never goes away. I was anorexic at one point and I STILL had cellulite. But walking on the treadmill actually gets mine under control.