Cadence308

Your husband appears to have a sex addiction. I hope that he is getting professional help because it really sounds like he needs it. You don't deserve this. I'm glad that he came clean, but he's put you at risk with STDs and disrespected you and your marriage. I would be out of that marriage so fast!

If you think it's a problem then it's a problem. If she knew about how you are feeling and would not be okay with it then it's a problem. It really sounds like you lost your interest in her sexually and relationship-wise when you two weren't being intimate. It sounds like that's important to you in a relationship and there's nothing wrong with that. If she's still not giving you what you need and it sounds like you are already out there looking for it, then break up with her and move on.

It almost sounds like things are working out and she is putting out. If that's the case then it sounds like you are having the "grass is greener" phases and it's usually not greener. If you really have something good with her and things are really working out, why mess with that?

Feel your sperms in her?

 

wow. Maybe she's "The One". : /

This whole thread is funny, but this particular post cracked me up!

Dude, it sounds like it's some kind of mental-emotional thing to want to cum inside your girl!

It's really hard to tell if she's interested in you. Sometimes we see things because we want certain situations to happen and other times we are just plain blind and do not see anything.

I don't think that you should be embarrassed at all about approaching her. This was a big step for you and you should chalk it up to that. You actually got up the guts to approach someone and introduce yourself.

It sounds like you see her often and now you know her name. Next time you see her, smile and say hi, how are your classes going? Maybe do this as you walk by or as she walks by you and see what happens. See if she stops to talk to you or if she pretends she doesn't hear you, etc. Over time, if she's stopping to talk to you then that may mean she's interested and you can ask her out.

GL!

You sound depressed or burned out or both. Do you have a good social support system? There are usually on campus counselors that can help you academically and personally to talk about whatever is going on. If your life is not balanced and you don't have a good support system and it sounds a bit like that to me, then you will get depressed.

I find that when I have a little "me" time and some time with friends that I can study and do well and work and everything works out well. College is hard and there's so much to balance and it's not really like out in the real world anyway. This will probably be one of your most stressful periods in your life because of the balancing act.

I recommed looking into counseling to talk about things and work on your social support. Secondly, I recommend that you do something for youself...take a yoga class during the semester or one fun class where you have opportunites to meet new people.

I agree with other posters that you are societally confused. I think that the fact that you identify as lesbian and have for much of your adult life says that you are a lesbian who fell for 1 man in a million.

Congrats on your new love!

I have a lesbian friend who is older (in her early 60s). When I first met her and we were talking about relationships she told me she fell in love with a man once and had a wonderful relationship with him and they were engaged. I forget now why the engagement ended. She called herself lesbian then and still calls herself a lesbian now even though she fell in love and had a relationship with a man once.

Since the relationship between the two of you started as sex and now feelings are gettting involved on both parts, it sounds like, I think you need to initiate a conversation with him and tell him how you are feeling about all of this. Can you continue an affair if he cannot leave his wife and kids? Would you really want to? It sounds like what you need to ask him is, "Where is all of this going?"

Are you sure that you are not confusing this type of underwear with a dam or a woman's condom? Sounds like wishful thinking. Why don't you have the man put a condom on and rub in all the right places?

I think you should be seriously considering ending the engagement. She doesn't like the ring you picked because she wanted bigger diamonds and a more expensive ring even when you said that you could not afford it. She is not respecting you and your financial situation. It sounds like she's a gold digger to me!

I agree with astaro. kere, you need to get away from your gf or ex or whatever she is to you right now. I know that you love her, but she has been lying to you, cheating on you, maniupulating and using you. She knows how her cheating affected you, yet, she continued to lie and cheat behind your back and then you have had to relive all of it over and over and over again. You deserve so much better than that.

Call your best friend and your family and apologize for how stupid you have been and let them know that you know the truth now. Be humble...

You need to move out of the apartment that you share with this girl, if you haven't already. Staying there is only going to make things worse.

I hope you realize that you need to end things...

Keep us posted!

There's a reason it's called ur anus. It's an exit that has anal sphincter muscles that push pooh out, not suck penis in, contrary to popular belief. It is an exit and not an entrance. If you are not comfortable doing it, then don't do it. Simple.

I think the fact that you are sensing that she is acting the same way when she was close to cheating the first time says that you are DEAD on about this. I would be thinking that there is someone else since you and her friend are trying to convince her to go into counseling and she's resisting. The fact that she does not want to work things out says a lot about her. Also, I raised my eyebrow when you mentioned the fact that her being close to cheating the first time was when you were newly married. Newly married and cheating or thinking about it means that she doesn't sound like she took the oath of marriage as seriously as you. Are you sure that you want to be with someone who lies, cheats, doesn't respect you, and doesn't want to work things out?

Seriously, you could find someone out there who could give you what you want and need, would respect you, be honest and truthful, committed, and want to be with you. You don't have kids with her. Cut your losses and move on. I know it sounds harsh, but you don't sound happy with her.

I think online dating can be used as a hook up website. It probably depends on the site. When I dated men about 5 years ago I was on link removed for a while and then hot or not. I went on TONS of dates, but never hooked up with any of them. Maybe because I wasn't into the dating men thing. Some of the guys I went out with from those sites would hint at sex, etc., but never happened. lol

Dear Rhonda,

Thank you for your response concerning my question. I think you have a point regarding my sensitivity and fear of rejection. I think that I will take a chance and greet her and say hello.

Ballys

This is a very good poem and very sad. I agree that suicide is a waste of good talent. Some people hurt so much and they think that is their only relief.

First of all, you didn't offend me being a girl that dates girls. I am a woman who dates women myself and I don't think there's anything to be offended or embarrassed about.

Your friend seems like she really cares about you. I think the whole "but" that you are talking about is that she is probably scared of her sexuality and may just be coming out of the closet. It sounds like nobody knows about you two, neither of you are out, and you are both very young. I remember that I had a hard time grappling with my sexuality 3 years ago when I realized that I love women and want to be with a woman. I felt like I went through a grieving period where I was really depressed, sad that I might have to hide certain parts of my life from family and friends, and just dealing with it. There's a reason why people call it coming out of the closet.

I do think that you should and need to talk to your friend about where you stand with her. I think you should do this because if there's not a romantic relationship I don't think that you should continue to make out because you will only be more hurt in the end. Don't let her have all of the control and keep putting you off about your talk about the relationship. Stand up for yourself and be honest about your feelings.

Sounds like it's time to move on from hand jobs and onto something better like oral sex. Just my opinion...

It bothers you when your friend talks about guys and the sexual things she does with guys because you want her, you want to be that guy that she is doing the nasty with, etc. You are plain and simply "jealous!"

Robowarrior has a point. Are you sure that you are not just attracted to her superior position?

Sometimes we are attracted to people and it's really hard to explain why. It could be their tone of voice, their eyes, the way they look, their walk, other mannerisms, etc.

If the two of you have something in common and it sounds like you do, then why not use work as an excuse to contact her again? After all, she did give you her cell number.

Dear Rhonda,

I am a woman who in the past 3 years has come to identify as lesbian. There was an older woman whom I met at the beginning of my coming out who I'm sure is a lesbian. We hung out a few times socially and I think the chemistry was there, however, I also think she had a girlfriend because she would occasionally drop words like "we," etc. But, she was also always asking me about my dating life like every time I saw her.

To make a long story short, we were never able to talk things out and she could tell that I was having sexuality issues. We have been in no contact for 2 years now. I have since had a relationship with a woman that ended. I'm now living in the same city as this older woman and want very much to be back in touch with her. I've seen her driving a few times and this past Sunday she was standing RIGHT in front of me at the Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble bookstore. I was TOO nervous to say anything. I am sure that she saw me, but not sure at what point.

I am thinking of going back to this coffee shop this Sunday at the same time. I am hoping to run into her again. I don't know what to say to her or should I just ignore her? It seems like ignoring her is playing mind games and I'm not into that. I am just trying to become friends again because I still have a thing for her.

Thank you in adance.

Sounds like he may be gay. My only concern is that if you grab his hand or tell him your feelings without knowing more about his sexual orientation, you may be rejected. What would happen if he rejected you? Would he be the kind of friend who would drop you because of your sexual orientation and then turn around and tell everyone? You are only a freshman in high school and have 3 more years of high school. Could you handle the harassment and ridicule that long?

My suggestion is to think about what could happen so you can be prepared for it. You don't even know if this guy digs other guys...that is a big problem. Since you two are friends then I would talk to him, find out who his love interests are...does he date or talk about girls? How doe he feel about homosexuality? When you two are spending some time alone together try to figure out a way to find out more about where he stands on these issues. Talking about politics is a good way to bring up the topic of homosexuality. It's normal for friends to ask other friends about their dating lives.

GL and keep us posted!

If the thing NEVER gets touched, when it does, its going to be soooo happy, it'll orgasm right away.

LOL Way to dumb it down AwdreeHpburn!

Just once a week, huh? That's not much at all. I usually masturbate at least 4-5 times a week. I suggest masturbating more to build up your stamina, as others have suggestd. It feels good and it tastes great!

I don't think that you should come out and ask him if he's gay. He could just be curious or way in the closet where the sun don't shine.

Asking him about it if he's not out or not ready to come out will create conflict. What you could do is just make comments in passing about politics or some other general conversation that has anything to do with sexual orientation and just make it well known that you support people who are gay and if you already have gay friends you could mention that. You will be opening the door to your friend who may be gay to come out to you when and if he is gay, esp. if you let him know that you have other gay friends and you are not a bigot.

I think the altoids suggestion was good. What about flavored lotions? I think it would be too hard to have a girl shower every time you wanted to perform oral sex on her. You just need something to change the flavor a bit.

I'm sure girls have been equally traumatized by a dirty penis, etc. It's not disgusting...everyone goes pee and it has to come out somewhere!

It sounds like you are too bored and maybe should consider taking up something like knitting to occupy your time or you could end up cheating on your man.