BecxyRex

I haven’t read through all the replies, so I apologize if this has been brought up. To me it seems that you view marriage as a status symbol to show the outside world that your boyfriend “chose” you and you’re a taken woman. I’d be alarmed if my boyfriend told me that he feels there’s too much tension and arguments and would try my best to make him feel comfortable in the relationship. His feelings matter too. Maybe it’s not fact, but this isn’t court where he needs to show evidence to support his claim. It’s how he feels. What are you doing to make him feel more loved?

Watch her do a complete 180 after you send that happy Birthday text… maybe it’s just the sign she needed to be able to pursue a serious relationship with you 😉 

It seems you were both on the same page about you selling your home, as you say it was your original intent. Has something changed and is he aware of it? I know you say you work closer to your home and find the distance more practical for you, but has there ever been a conversation with him about you keeping your place for longer? He might be expecting your “long distance” to end sooner than you’re intending? I put long distance in quotation because an hour isn’t very long, but over time can add up and start being a hinderance. I’d say have a conversation about where you stand and if you indeed are planning to sell. Of course you have to make that decision for yourself, but he needs to be aware of what your plan is. If he’s assuming your life will shift onto “his turf” soon it might make sense for him to focus your hangouts there. 
 

Omg I love “Love on the spectrum”! We can learn a lot from their openness and honesty. So beautiful! 

9 hours ago, mylolita said:

Bex NO! I get it! I do! Robin Hood! LOL! I mean, not like how I’m in worship and awe of Jude Law like, knees at the alter, but I do get it!

 

I love a baddie! Or anti-hero! 
 

I tell you who else I actually like, might mostly be his voice but I have/had a massive crush on Christopher Hitchins and kind of, not in a big way but, Jeremy Ions! Mostly his voice I think?! 
 

NO NO CRUSH AWAY PLEASE! 🤭🤣

 

x

Love Jeremy Irons especially in Lolita! Gotta say though, Dominique Swain was fire in that role too 🤌🏻

We’ve probably moved on from the celebrity crush topic (haven’t had a chance to read past that yet), but I wanna throw my all time favorite crush in here Alan Rickman, specifically in Harry Potter as Snape. I can’t be the only one, right???!!! 

10 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Thanks chick!

 

I’m glad you guys are over it! And I LOVE THOSE APPLE PIES!!!!!

 

If it gives you any hope I was never a massive fan of Caesar salad so I think you can get round it! 
 

I wish I could eat all the junk food ever, then get a stomach bug - LOL! That might keep me on track huh 🫡🤣

 

x

That’s actually brilliant! I’m gonna try eating Cajun chips next time I have a stomach bug, because I’m so addicted to them. Not good for my hips 😉 

Hey Lolita! Argh, I have a feeling I may not ever enjoy my vegan spread again. What a shame! Sounds like once you develop an aversion is persists. 
How interesting you just had that same situation with your hubby 🙂 I love Cesar salad and would be so sad if I couldn’t eat it anymore. Do you remember those apple desert things from McDonalds back in the 90s? We never went to McDonalds much, but the one time we did, I got one and it made me so sick. Thinking about it now, I wouldn’t want to try one to this day. 
Hopefully y’all stay healthy over there! Nausea Is just so debilitating…

3 minutes ago, 1a1a said:

I got brutal food poisoning on a trip to Indonesia in year 10, spent the last three days in the hotel room in agony. The food I suspected was a chicken curry and for 6 months I wouldn’t touch chicken. One day I decided to make myself brave it because there was this one dish I really liked making. I remember cooking it up and feeling like it was not appetising at all! Ate a bit, it tasted great, didn’t get sick. Aversion was gone from that point on. 
 

More recently gave myself brutal food poisoning eating 10 day old cream. But I didn’t make the connection at the time, I associated it with home made palak paneer and felt an aversion to that. Ironically at no time have I felt an aversion to cream, the thing that most likely poisoned me. 
 

I like the wait a little while longer and then eat just a very small amount of one idea. I think when your body realised it’s harmless the aversion will go

Thanks so much! Interesting that your aversion went away once you had a small bite. I’ll give it a bit of time and try a small amount.

My daughter had a stomach bug before me. I’m sure it’s something that was going around. I was the one who mainly cleaned up after her, so that’s definitely how I got it. Had nothing to do with the spread (she didn’t eat it) and it sadly was the last thing I ate before getting sick. I’m totally fine now, can eat anything, just have an aversion to my beloved spread. I’ll take it easy though and just wait a while until my body doesn’t respond to it anymore. It’ll probably pass. Thanks everyone!

Hi all! 
 

I recently had a stomach bug and it wasn’t fun. Lots of throwing up, nausea, etc. It’s passed by now, but I still have this specific food aversion that I’m trying to get rid off. 
My mom sends these vegan spreads to me from overseas and I love them! I’m not vegan, but they are easy to send and so good. They come in different flavors and you can spread them on bread or use as dip. There’s Indian curry, apple and leeks, red beets…. I used to be obsessed, getting excited to dig them out and see which one I’d open. They come in cute little glass jars too!
 

Anyway, the last thing I ate before my stomach bug hit was one of the spreads. It was apple leek to be precise and even writing about it makes me feel slightly unwell. It’s been a good two weeks now that I’m healthy again, but as soon as I see the jars in my pantry I just want to throw up again. When does this food aversion pass you think? Should I just force one down to show my body it’s fine? Does it go away on its own or have I ruined these for me now? I’m actually sad about this, because I liked them so much. 
 

This isn’t anything earth shattering but maybe someone can help and has experience!

I wonder about this happiness thing quite a bit. I don’t think happiness is an end goal to be achieved, but more an accumulation of little moments throughout the day or week. I feel happy lighting a fall scented candle for the first time after summer, or baking a peach pie on a sunny day. Yikes that sounds cheesy? I think as long as any major obstacles in life are taken care of, happiness comes in little moments like these. They can be fleeting if you have a lot on your plate but I think it’s worth relishing in these little minutes in between where you feel a nice summer rain on your skin or you’re cozy inside during a thunder storm. I’m only learning to value these minutes now that I’m approaching middle age and time with my little one seems to just fly out of my hands 

12 hours ago, mylolita said:

People paraglide round where we live! The cliffs are perfect for it! Looks really relaxing Bex! Just slowly floating down, falling with style! 
 

How’s your new house going? I’ve been on a mad declutter/sort out/tidying spree 🫡

 

x

That does sound perfect! We don’t have high enough hills around here I’m afraid lol 

house is coming along! Little one had a play date yesterday so I’ve been cleaning up spilled beads all around the house 😵‍💫

Oh man I would crap myself! I already get anxious flying in a plane, so probably no skydiving for me. Paragliding though 🧐

On 5/30/2022 at 3:54 PM, Alex39 said:

I'm 31 and she's in her 60s. 

I'm 28 and that meant a lot to me.

 

 

 

 

 

Did you say you’re 31, then say you’re 28, or did I misunderstand? How old are you?

In addition I’ve got one more point. I was in a long term relationship when I was younger. Over 10 years. I didn’t know how to get out… I loved my partner, but it was clear to me we had grown apart. That didn’t make it any easier to leave though…. I was very similar to your girlfriend in that I wasn’t interested in resolving arguments, I had no sexual desire. I didn’t cheat. I was hot and cold because I liked him and didn’t want to hurt him. I ended up leaving. I’m just saying, it sounds similar to what she’s going through. It does not sound at all like she’s interested in maintaining the relationship, I’m very sorry to say. 

Look, cheating by itself doesn’t automatically end a long term relationship. In my opinion. Lack of sex drive doesn’t either. Silent treatment during arguments can be something she works on. However, all three combined? It’s blatantly obvious she’s not in this anymore, OP. I don’t know why she’s depressed. I get the feeling she’s afraid to leave. Maybe she’s afraid to be alone or maybe she still cares about you and doesn’t want to hurt you. But it’s clear to me that she does not want to date you anymore. You can’t fix her, only she can. And she’s not giving you anything, yet you cling on and try any possible way to justify her behavior. Let her go back to her country, don’t talk to her, give her space. She will either come back to you or not. There’s literally nothing else you can do. That’s not being harsh, and I hope you understand you need to protect yourself as well here. 

If she’d been in bed all day for days, literally sleeping until evening I’d understand your concern and desire to get her out into the sun. But man, she wanted to sleep in. I’m actually not a morning person and my worst nightmare would be my partner trying to get me out of bed, before I have to. It sounds like a creepy parent child dynamic. Look, I understand your will is good and you have her best interest in mind. But she’s an adult. You need to let her make her own decisions. Also, i get the sense (with all your research and personal development) that you like to discuss issues… a lot. Correct me if I’m wrong. Maybe she just needs some peace and quiet, and shuts down when all that talking gets too much. 
You seem to be trying too hard to fix this. I understand you love her and you want to give it your all to save this relationship. You may be doing more damage than good though, if you don’t give her space and focus on yourself for a bit. Hey, she might even start missing you if you make yourself a bit more scarce. 

I think all you need to know going forward is that Chloe doesn’t love you enough to divorce her husband. Her “guilt” and willingness to sneak behind his back say everything. If this was truly a match made in heaven you’d be discussing both of your divorces by now. She’s not willing to do that. 
Break up with Gemma. You both aren’t in love from what it sounds like. Yes, you’ll be paying child support, but ultimately, I think it’s all heading that way anyway. People have left relationships with kids involved, it’s not an impossibility. Go from there. 
You say your friend Jamie is everything to you. I understand Love can cloud judgement, but in my mind you have already lost that friend when you started sleeping with his wife. Cut ties with both of them and start fresh. This holiday romance will not last once reality kicks in. Try to leave with some dignity right now before it gets really bad. 

On 4/25/2022 at 6:07 AM, mylolita said:

I never knew you were divorced Becxy! And I didn’t realise you were re-married now! Congratulations!!! Is that a recent happy event!? 
 

❤️

 

x

It’s all been a while. My first husband and I knew each other since we were 17 and it ended up not working out. My now husband and I have our sweet daughter and it all worked out for the best 🙂

I’m obsessed with this art! 

18 hours ago, mylolita said:

Becxy!

 

Oh my goodness! This is shocking! 
 

I completely understand your concern regarding your daughter. You hear of dogs, yes actually disproportionately pit bulls, attacking children. It’s not an out there thing to be concerned about! 
 

I’m glad everything worked out in the end. It’s such a good job you and your husband were there to help. The owner sounds very abusive and dodgy. 
 

x

Thanks Lolita, it was really terrifying. The dogs are gone now thankfully and I feel like I can let my daughter play outside again! 

9 hours ago, Jibralta said:

What a sad story! That poor man, and that poor dog!! I hope the dog is ok.

Something like that happened to my boyfriend once. He had a Pomeranian at the time and was walking it in his neighborhood. He stopped to chat with two of his neighbors. Directly in front of him, but up the street, two other neighbors decided it was a good idea to let their four-year-old daughter walk their bulldog. The bulldog saw my boyfriend's little dog and decided it was mealtime. The bulldog charged, dragging the little girl down the street with him. This all happened in my boyfriend's line of sight, so he had a chance to scoop up his Pomeranian. My boyfriend then barked in the bulldog's face, causing it to stop dead mid-charge and backpedal lol.

Any dog can be aggressive with other dogs. I had a darling little Cavapoo who loved people, loved cats, and hated dogs. I couldn't take her to the dog park because she was miserable there. It was a big surprise, given her happy-go-lucky, gregarious personality in other circumstances. But I had to honor it, even with my little lap dog. Obviously when you have a dog with weight and power behind it, it's even more important to take precautions!

I think a lot of people get pitbulls just so that they can complain on facebook & the like that people are judging them for their pitbulls and/or they can portray themselves as some kind of social justice pitbull warrior. And while they're at it, they complain about being judged for their tattoos as well. Good grief. No one gives a sht about your pitbulls or your tattoos except for you. Quit being so obsessed with yourself and shut up already!

Every time I see someone walking a pitbull, I think this^ of them. I know it's not fair but I've just seen it too many times. LOL!!! 

Anyway, as Lootie Tootie says, pittbulls have all different personalities. There are also several different breeds that comprise the "pitbull" category--although I think they're most commonly associated with Staffordshire Terriers. I've seen two very aggressive pitbulls, and interestingly, both of them had the same build and coloring: they were tall, and they were white with tan spots. Both of them had that kind of aggression even as puppies. Interestingly, one of these dogs is literally the only dog my Cavapoo ever became friends with... but my friend had to give him up because he became aggressive with her little girl.

I babysat two pitbulls in someone's home once. They lived in a duplex and shared a yard with their neighbors. One of their pitbulls mauled the neighbor's dog. This happened before I babysat for them. As a result, I had to walk both dogs on a leash in the yard. I made sure to have their leashes wrapped around my arms and keep myself braced so that the dogs couldn't break free if the neighbor dog came out (I'm used to handling horses--dogs can't pull me down).

Hi Jibralta, I agree, if you have a powerful dog like a Pitbull you really need to be equipped to handle it. I would imagine lots of professional training involved. One mistake can just be devastating. 
 

Haha, I got a good chuckle from your description of Pit owners. It’s so true! Lots of them get super defensive. You can’t even mention Pitbull attacks in certain circumstances, because it brings the Pitbull Justice warriors out of the weeds. I love animals in general, but I have a healthy respect for these breeds. 
 

Wow, handling horses! I sometimes think Living on a horse farm would be my dream life but I have zero experience with them aside from brushing them and riding sometimes when I was 12 and in pony camp lol 

8 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I'm so, so sorry this happened. The poor little doggy and the poor owner. I feel for you and your husband too for having to witness that. Bless you for driving the man and his dog to the vet ER.

I always blame the owners (fair or not) because these dogs tend to do what they're trained to do or else they suffer abuse at the hands of their owners. Or their owners have no clue how to train them. One of the best dogs I ever knew was a pitty. His owner gave him a lot of love and only trained him to defend his family if they were under threat. Interestingly, this dog defended me against his owner by barking loudly and standing between me and him, even though I wasn't his owner! He would also always walk me from my car to inside the house to protect me. Wonderful dog.

I hope the little doggy recovers. And I hope the owner recovers from his trauma. And I hope the owners are held accountable.

Thank you! The Pitbull owner definitely wasn’t fit to own these dogs. They were afraid of him, when he called them. Animal control actually took them away as far as I know. Little dog is recovering also. Things are looking good 🙂