My boyfriend ( a computer guy) and I have been together for a year and a half. Before I met him he watched porn and masterbated to it three times a day or more everyday(he told me this). Now that he's dating me it has lessened but it's still a lot four or five times a week. He does it illegally as well not sure how, but I know he gets passwords from certain website of people that have actually paid for the services and uses their username and password to watch porn .
I've always known that he watched porn and was ok with it. I loved porn as well. His friends always joked about the quantity of cyber porn that he had downloaded to his computer. (He had to get a second hard drive because he had so much) Are sex relationship was great for the first eight months and then it gradually went down hill.
We are now at the point where I have to beg for sex and he still denys me. I had openly talked to him about how it makes me feel when he denys me. I feel worthless, not beautiful, compared to the porn, and he says that he doesn't compare me and that he loves me. I hate porn now because he chooses to watches porn all the time and masterbates to it instead of have sex with me.
I talked to him about how I thought he was addicted to porn and how it hurts me and affects are relationship so i told him it had to stop, and made him delete all of the porn he had on his computer and asked him to stop watching it. He said he didn't want to stop, and didn't think he could (but yet he doesn't think he's addicted) he agreed to delete all the porn and I agreed to let him watch it twice a week hoping that he would be hornier and that would improve our sex life.
Well in the first week he couldn't stick to twice but watched it three times when I was not around that I know of. I know this because I see it on his computer. I talked to him again last week and wanted some answers. He said that having sex was too much work and that he really has to consintrate and not have any distractions.
It takes him a long time to come 45min- hour I think that's great. He thinks it's work. I've tried cutting out distractions, being on top so he doesn't have to work, giving him lots of oral, talking dirty everything nothing works. He said that watching porn is easier and he comes sooner. I've been doing some research and first of all I think he is addicted to porn he says he's not.
Secondly I think he might have what is called retarded ejaculation where it takes you a while to come. I think he's conditioned himself to cum when masterbating, because he does it a certain way by building it up and starts and stops. I love everything about him except this I don't want this to ruin us. Just last night I begged him for sex. He said no but then finally caved. His penis was hard so i was on top till I cam and that was it he didn't want to get off at all.
So this morning I made the comment how much it hurt me that he doesn't want sex with me but would masterbate to porn all day long, and he didn't say anything. I left the room for about 30 min. Came back in and caught him beating off to porn. He looked at me and apologized but I took it as a slap in the face. I haven't talked to him since. I love him so much, except for this. i don't know what to do. except leave him, but i don't want to do that either. I asked him about counseling and he rolls his eyes. Help!!
