deafgirl

Hi, Well as you guess my screen name and what i could be possibly talking about. I am Deaf and use both oral and sign language as my way of communicating. Recently i have had this situation with guys who are not Deaf and going out. I went out with this guy recently and he said he want to learn a new language and would love to learn sign language. Anyway after he didn't get what he wanted and knew that all i was giving was a kiss. a few days later i get this ridiculous email from him saying he is afraid to go physical with me and don't want to make another mistake. He also says no point in taking it slow and being friends kind of thing. He furthur stated he is not ready to learn a new language. Now i didn't meet this guy at a bar or online, etc. i meet him in person so he knew just what he was up for. I don't play games and i made it clear that i am Deaf and use sign language even though my speech is somewhat clear. I have explained to him my position in the email, that is, i rather not make yet another stupid mistake by having a one night stand and then realizing i am only interested in being friends. I went into alot of detail explaining my reasons and i am not rejecting him, i enjoy being out with him but not ready to go that far. so far no response from him after this email. I AM CONFUSED! can someone help out with this? it is mind boggling to me as to exactly what is he trying to say? would any man learn a new language for someone he is really interesed in? should i just ignore him completely and say "to hell with this one, move on" or what? Any feedback or help would be great. Thanks

Yes i think getting tough and reducing contacts with her will help and allow you both to refocus on what you wan to do in the future. It's hard and tough to do but try to keep yourself busy to avoid thinking about her or anxiously waiting for that phone or email to pop up. After time the anxiety of expecting a phone call or email will reduce. she is clear about what she wants , that is, not to get back with you so may be best to just let it go and give her space. if she does say "why you not calling me like you use too?' simply tell her, you don't want us to be back together and i am giving you your space. it's tough to do, i know i am going throw that now, just giving the spaced needed and if he never emails me back, then it wasn't meant to be.

oh wow, i'm sorry about that situation. i think it definitely helps when you let you know how you feel. you shouldn't bottle up your feelings and be agitated about it. always my rule of thumb to start off positive and tell her what you enjoyed and was glad to support her during her tough time, etc. then start to tell her how you feel. Best to tell her when you are calm and let her know you are angry about this and feel that you not getting anywhere with this situation. be sure not to yell and try to keep your emotions under control. She is probably going through alot right now and not able to think about these other things. a nice reminder to her of you being there to support her and you feel abit lost in this whole thing and would like to know what is the present situation between both of you and what plans she has for the future etc. good luck.