loneisland

thanks for all opinions. Hi Lily04, i m 27. In some ways, my situation is very alike to yours. Lots of challenges, and we always need to fight against it. Somehow it is tiring.. Yes, the head sometimes over do the thinking. I know I can trust this guy. It is just that I finally realised he loves himself more than he loves me. This might sounds ridiculous unfortunately I am sick on this matter. Perhaps from the past experiences, somehow I gave up and didnt want any relationship anymore. It was him who showed me love and I thought I could count on him. He still loves me, only not 100%. to me, that's a problem. I dont know it this make sense at all.

Hi Sasha, I admire your courage, really. thanks

Hi Pricess 777, I feel for you. I know it must be tough. Only my case aint that drastic. He is never a "bad" person, neither am I But I agree it is the guilt that makes me undecided, apart from the fear of accepting all we have had wasn't meant to be

What I meant is that conflict inside yourself when you started to doubt that it aint gonna work, despite all being done? I don't bother too much about others either.

Have you ever being in a tough relationship of complicated background where no one thinks it would work? Yet both of you fight against all odds, through the laughters and tears, believing in each others and holding on to the faith. Just when you thought it was meant to be, some small, or big, matters, happened, changed your mind dramatically and you realised that she/he might not be the right person for you... What would you do? Counting on the voice within or giving in? What about the hard (and pleasant) times spent and the sacrifaction that was too precious to lose? Any thought?

Hi Babybees, Thanks for sharing. It must have been tough for you. Honestly sometimes I wish they don't have to go through the divorce. It would be easier to miss 'another' man (no matter how great he is), easier way out for myself too. I might feel lost but if it is better for him and the wife + the baby I guess I would rather let it be. I asked him to stay in the relationship and they did try. In fact it has been more than one year since they tried. It was the wife who initiated the divorce eventually, as she feels that there is no love left anymore. I dont know if things would have been different if I wasn't there. They think this is better for the baby too, rather than witness the separation when he is bigger. They are not enemies and they agreed to call it a quit. I don't know if the wife know about me but i think she does. I just don't know if one day if she would hate me. I know I shouldn't bother about how others think as long as I know I've no regrets. He is such a nice man and he just can't be happy with his current life anymore. I know he tried so hard and he has chose to stay for years. He finally made up his mind when he realised that he deserve a new life. We are just unfortunated that the baby is there. I know it would always be soemthing that is in my mind or maybe I should try to learn to love him too when it is the time. Thanks for the good luck wish and thank you all for sharing your thoughts.

Thanks Gilgamesh, I thought of what you said thousand times. Same for him. He felt guilty to have me involved before settle the previous matter. You have a point, we wont jump into the new relationship right away. I suppose he needs time to get his head cool. Well, he got her pregnant before he said he loved me. They had a comfortable life without love for many years. We have been supporting each other emotionally but somewhere along the way we crossed the line. Thoughest thing was she has expecting. I was the trigger but not the cause. Maybe this is what you mean by 'he feels he 'needs' someone if he leaves his current woman'. I dont know. I am matured enough to think of everything you said Gilgamesh, which I did. Perhaps my problem is I chose to believe everything he said because I do love him. Love makes me pathetic. sigh.

Thanks. I guess it is just plain jeolousy to think of the reason. Silly but it hurts sometimes. I actually asked her on this but he told me he himself couldn't answer it. Maybe men don't need affection to have sex afterall. That's sad. I know the baby will always be there and he will always be the father, apart from accepting the fact that they will still meeting each other from time to time. I should be glad at least he is not abandon his responsibilities. But it is always easier to say than done.

I met this man of my life when he was having problems with his wife in their marriage. They are going through a divorce now and we've our own plans ahead. I haven't yet really walk into his life physically (restricted by distance) and I would rather wait till things is over there. I trust his love for me. I trust every words he said and I believe we will have a great new life together. What bother me is they have a young baby which is in between this complicated situation. I dont understand why there is a baby when they are having a serious relationship problem? I have seen some of you talking about going for a divorce but can't decide because of there is a baby. Maybe this is a silly question but why could you make love to your wife when you already decided to leave her? I wish I can just get this out of my head as I know he has got his whole heart for me now and we'll leave the past behind. Or will we?