wow... this situation must be really tough, especially if you really love her, which it sounds like you do. I must say, you are a very patient man. You say that she has had issues in the past that you are not going to get into, and that is fine, however, do you know if she has sought counseling to deal with them? I am also wondering, you were together 8 years and you never got married, even though you mentioned asking... does she ever plan to get married, or has she declared an aversion to marriage? It sounds like she is incredibly scared of committment yet likes knowing that you are always committed to her, if that makes sense. That's not fair to you, but I'm sure it gives her comfort- it's nice feeling that you are loved unconditionally. I would say she does love you but something doesn't allow her to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I think you both could probably use some (separate) therapy; her because of whatever is stopping her from committing to you, and you because of the effect of her constant flip-flopping. I hope I've helped you think of things that may help you in some way... Good luck. You sound like a good guy
