pufferfish

Update: he asked me to be his girlfriend last week. So I guess the answer is yes, it was flirting, haha.

I am 20 and in my first real relationship ever. I'm crazy about the guy, and I think he likes me quite a bit as well. The problem is, I have no idea how to be a girlfriend, or what it takes to have a healthy relationship. I find myself wondering: will he get bored of me if we run out of stuff to talk about? How often should I see him? How often should I kiss him when we're together? Will I be annoying if I try to cuddle with him too much? Stupid stuff like that. He is not very experienced in relationships either, so it's like we're both in the dark about how to act... it all feels very clumsy and uncertain. Part of the problem is that my self confidence isn't great, so I feel like I have to be constantly interesting and entertaining or else he'll get tired of me. I panic when there's a long gap in conversation. After we kiss, I wonder if he thinks I'm a bad kisser. It all causes me a fair bit of anxiety. I'm wondering if there is anything I can do to relieve my fears, and also if it's normal to have these kinds of doubts. I feel totally clueless about the role of a girlfriend and what creates a good, healthy relationship. Any advice would be very appreciated.

I was on the couch next to my male friend yesterday, watching a movie with him. We were sitting very close, shoulders touching. I could feel him breathing quite fast. I know that happens to me when I'm turned on (I'm female)... could that be what was happening with him? I do have a crush on this guy, so I hope so.

People's pupils dilate when they see someone they like, which probably makes the eyes seem sparklier because of the reflection of lights in the black part. Just a guess.

Thanks for the replies. I've only known him for about a month, but we've become very good friends in that time. And no, he wasn't drunk I saw him again after I wrote the first post, and I tried to get back at him by pushing him into the snow too. (We're both 20, by the way, and not usually this immature.) I was climbing all over him trying to tackle him down. He definitely didn't try to stop me, and even egged it on saying "Come on, that's the best you can do?" I guess that's a good sign? He is not usually the flirtatious type, if anything a bit on the shy side. However, we are quite close and maybe he just feels very comfortable with me now. I will see how things go. Thanks again for the help.

This morning, a male friend of mine (who I have a crush on) tried to playfully push me into the snow. It didn't work, and he ended up wrestling me, so that we were wrapped around each other tightly and he was trying to get me into the snow. There was a lot of touching and grabbing involved. For me, I wouldn't do that kind of thing to someone unless I was physically attracted to them, but maybe it's different with guys. He has never done anything this physical with me before so it kind of came out of the blue. What do you think?