boltnrun

You're still planning to take her on this vacation? I wouldn't expect any "good will". She can use the money as ransom to try to force you into reconciling. I would contact Air BnB and/or the property owner and explain the situation.

Do you have to get the money back from her or from the vacation destination?

That was deliberate on her part. You're leaving. See if you can put her behavior in the perspective of it not being your problem after what, 20 days?

So she's not even divorced yet but she was already on a dating site? Interesting. I'm glad she did you the courtesy of telling you. Now you can move forward. Oh, and I recommend being proactive about dating others. Don't wait around in case she changes her mind.

I slept better last night. Although I had another weird dream. I have some dreams that recur every so often. In this one I was driving the car I had before I bought the one I have now. I was driving up a VERY steep hill. For some reason I got out of the car and walked up some stairs, then had to retrieve my car at the top of the steep hill. I've had this dream before. Weird. Almost all of my dreams involve either leaving some place and driving or driving and arriving at some place. My family features prominently in these dreams too. But I'm grateful for being able to sleep.

No one can be "stolen" without their own consent. Plus, he had feelings for her before. You can choose not to accept the situation but it won't change anything. All your refusal will do is make you miserable, it won't bring him back to you. You're obviously educated and intelligent. Many men would want to date someone like you. But you'll never meet any of them if you insist on focusing on someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and who is actually with someone else.

If she reconciles with her ex would you still want to stick around being her "friend"? Could you tolerate visiting their shared home? Or would it hurt?

She'll be nice long enough to ensure you're hooked. So, probably a few hours. Then once you agree to give her "another chance" she'll go right back to berating you and making accusations and name calling. You've seen this movie before. Many times. It's up to you if you want to put yourself through this another dozen times.

Remember, she didn't say that. You did. You can completely sabotage this promising relationship by punishing her for your insecurities. Or you can figure out how to get a grip and enjoy what you have. Which option sounds better?

I've found that people who behave like that are usually hoping I react so they can run tell on me. So I never, and I mean never, give them what they're after. I'm great at "Ummm..." and "Yeah..." It infuriates them because they look stupid trying to have an argument with someone who refuses to participate. Sometimes they raise their voices, attracting attention, and the rest of the room looks at them rolling their eyes and wondering why they're so worked up. They're the same ones who ask you for your opinion of another coworker and then go tell that person what you said about them even if they themselves said negative things. I've been alive a long time and I know what those kinds of people are trying to do. She wants a reaction. Don't give her one.

She's going to make a lot of enemies. She's obviously insecure and feels threatened. Her attitude won't help with that.

Some people are just abrupt. I work with someone who's very abrupt and at first I took it personally until I realized this is just her manner. When I do something well she thanks me and compliments me. But if she needs something she'll just write "Need this submitted before the EOW, thx." Or she'll write "you probably don't know how to do this so get someone to walk you through it" when it's something I've been doing for three years. But again, that's just her manner. I can speculate this woman is also just an abrupt personality. I wouldn't let it bother me, ESPECIALLY since you're leaving soon.

Also want to add, the usual "fixes" for digestive issues don't work for me. Probiotics, fiber pills, laxatives don't work. And I already drink a lot of water. Also don't drink sodas or coffee.

So today is a "nay" day. Detailed health issue description to follow. You are warned! I have a medical condition that affects my digestive system. It causes extreme swings between diarrhea and constipation. If I'm lucky I get a week or two when things move along normally. I was unable to "go" on Tuesday and Wednesday. This is very dangerous for me. So I took some stool softeners which proved ineffective. Finally late yesterday evening I was able to go a little bit but definitely didn't get it all out. So I decided to work from home today as I didn't want to either struggle to go or unload at work. With the increase in people working in the office we went from three women on our floor to about 12 so I almost never have the bathroom to myself, which makes having explosive diarrhea very embarrassing. Anyway, in addition to being stopped up I couldn't sleep last night so I'm exhausted. Fortunately I "went" this morning, but I'm still horribly tired. Ugh. When I did get a couple of hours of sleep I had the weirdest dreams. The first one was a horror dream about being in a driveway when someone was backing a large trailer in and they didn't see me. So I had to leap into some bushes to avoid getting crushed. Doesn't sound scary but it was. The other dream was about my teeth. I have a lot of trouble with my teeth, all self-inflicted. I had dental insurance for years but never used it and I ate Mentos chewy candies every day for years. Totally destroyed my teeth. I've had multiple extractions and will need a bridge at some point (implants are far beyond my budget and insurance doesn't cover them). So in this dream I had several teeth that were loose and about to fall out so I just pulled them. The only good part of the dream is my mom was there and she was telling me to stop pulling my teeth out. Also a very weird dream. So the few hours I got were not restful. So today is not a good day. But it's not the worst either. I may need to pick a different place to vacation next week. I was planning to go up to the mountains but it's supposed to be only 55 degrees. I don't really want to be walking around the village in cold weather. I'll decide early in the week if I need to change it to another location. But definitely want to do a trip.

Also keep in mind true narcissists don't want help, they want sycophants. They want admirers. They want servants.